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To have told my mum to fo

(12 Posts)
Deadcatbounce Mon 09-Jan-17 20:44:55

Got diagnosed with glaucoma yesterday and very upset, am very young to have it, and need an operation very soon to reduce eye presssure.

Text mum yesterday and told her and said I would be in touch in due course but just wanted Tim eon my own to process.

She just answered o ok then and then text me to talk about flowers for a relative anniversary

I said please just leave me Alone

Hard to explain but I am devasted, always support my mum in all her stuff and just feel like fuck off now

Sorry it's just been a shock

twinsufficient Mon 09-Jan-17 20:48:30

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. My mum was the same. All about her and when I was having a miscarriage she said it could've been worse and proceeded to tell me what a relative who was pregnant was planning on calling her child! Be kind to yourself but be careful not to say anything you can't take back!

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Mon 09-Jan-17 20:49:51

She probably just thought you didn't want to talk about your diagnosis so tried random chatter instead.

Sorry to hear about your glaucoma and operation, no wonder you're in shock flowers

Gazelda Mon 09-Jan-17 20:49:54

I can understand you are in shock. But maybe she is trying to be supportive as you have done for her in the past.

Could you maybe send her a text and apologise for being rude to her, but say that you're needing some space at the moment and maybe you can meet at the weekend for a cuppa?

We're you given all of the information you need about the diagnosis and What the op will involve? It must be quite scary, but I know many people who live normal lives with glaucoma, so hopefully that will be your experience.


Deadcatbounce Mon 09-Jan-17 20:51:02

Thanks, I am itching to block or just say how I feel right now! Glad it's not just me x

Deadcatbounce Tue 10-Jan-17 12:48:38

Well best of intentions but it all blew up last night.

My brother accused me of playing for sympathy card, and told my mum to cut me off if I couldn't be more supportive.

As I am the one who finances her holidays, her Xmas and anything else she wants I took that very badly.

ofudginghell Tue 10-Jan-17 13:17:02

Tell her and your db to sod off wanting any assistance financially in future and just ignore them for the minute while you process the situation and come down off the ceiling.

My mum played down the fact that I had my thyroid removed with cancerous cells in it shock
I told her what the histology report said the day I had my appointment with my surgeon and she just said oh right and it's never been mentioned again.
When I have a thyroid flare up and am ill and lose weight all I get is that I'm not eating enough and I look thin and tired. The rude cow shockconfused
Last time she did this to me I politely but firmly told her I find it unbelievable that after three years she still didn't understand my condition and was making herself look like a twat and that if I was to tell her she looked too fat and needed to stop eating she'd have something to say about it shock

It all fell out of my mouth but she understood finally.
Maybe you could try talking to her about it once your feeling better

Deadcatbounce Tue 10-Jan-17 13:20:42

I'm taking a long break and am refusing to pay anything now towards my brothers school fees or mum holidays.

Yes am still red with rage. Told my mum I loved her but wanted a few months break Andy told my brother not to contact me again

HecateAntaia Tue 10-Jan-17 13:24:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoisonousSmurf Tue 10-Jan-17 13:30:11

Sorry you've had such a shock. I have to have regular eye tests to check for glaucoma as it runs in my family. Thankfully, it's keeping it's distance for now.
But as for your mum and brother, they are adults and can take care of themselves. You need to take care of yourself for a change. It's true that you really find out what people are like when you're ill.
True family or friends will support you in every way. Leeches suck harder when you're down!

Deadcatbounce Tue 10-Jan-17 13:47:37

Thank you for such lovely messages.

Going to keep my anger as when it's gone I will just be unbearably sad I think.

I don't think I will ever forgive my brother and my mother who knows how things will be in a few months, blocked them both on my phone as don't want to get upset again. X

ofudginghell Tue 10-Jan-17 19:00:07

Good for you op.
Just because they are family doesn't mean it's acceptable for them to behave that way especially if your financing their lifestyles.
You wouldn't let a friend treat you like it so don't let family either.

I find they rely on the fact you have a soft side which makes it even worse

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