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AIBU?

To think that my friend's landlady is taking the piss?

85 replies

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:25

My friend entered into a lodgers agreement that shes paying through the nose for, as she get a nice room in a nice house, rather than living in horrible student digs. Since shes moved in there has been one 'catastrophe' after another according to the LL. Her daughter moved out, and apparently she has spent days moping round the house crying. After this she spent a whole day and night moving things around the house, and invited her friend around to help. However I'm told they spent hours in the kitchen talking loudly (friend's room is separated by a partition only). Friend had told LL on many occasions she had important essays due imminently yet still this went on, and then again the day after! My friend had to work all night as she couldn't get any work done with what was the equivalent of two women talking and laughing at the tops of their voices next to her.
Now there's another 'catestrophy'! Apparently the LLs dog is sick and needs to be put down, but rather than being considerate to her paying tenants, she is having a vet come to the house and put it down, and has asked my friend (and I assume the other tenants?) to be out of the house for then! Obviously its very sad, but she is surely running a business (with two other tenants!) and sure this is completely unreasonable. My friend is so patient and passive but I can see that she's starting to get very stressed by the constant drama that seems to surround the LL. I have told her to move pronto, or at least confront the LL on how unprofessional and emotionally inappropriate she is being but she seems reluctant because she doesn't want to fall out with her. Am I being thoroughly witch like and unsympathetic? Oh and by the way, all this has happened over only TWO WEEKS!

OP posts:

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Whosthemummynow · 09/01/2017 14:28

At the end of the day it's the LL house. Is she not allowed friends over?

I suggest if your friend isn't happy for her to move

Treaclex · 09/01/2017 14:30

I think that YABU letting rooms out in your home is quite different from letting multiple properties. It is the LL home and when living in a shared house your never going to get peace and quiet. Why didn't your friend go to the library or somewhere else that was quiet ? As for the LL dog being put to sleep have a heart it's the dogs home and a little sympathy wouldn't go amiss.

19lottie82 · 09/01/2017 14:32

I think asking the lodgers to leave while the dog is PTS, and a little odd, surely they wouldn't want to stand over and watch? Your friend is entitled to decline the LL's request BTW.

HOWEVER...... that issue aside, it's the LL's house. Your friend only rents a room. And why on earth would you agree to rent a "room" next to a kitchen if they were only separated with a partition? Of course there's going to be noise!

On the upside your friend isn't contracted to stay, she can give the LL "reasonable notice" (this is the legal term for the notice required), reclaim her deposit and leave, finding somewhere that is more suitable for her needs.

gamerchick · 09/01/2017 14:33

The friend is you isn't it and you've posted about this situation before?

You know what the replies are going to be.

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:34

The room she is letting is connected to the sitting room by only a partition. Considering the huge amount of rent friend is paying, I do think its unreasonable for her to be in there for hours talking loudly, yes. She know what she is renting, and if she isnt going to put a proper wall up then she needs to make sure she is still providing peaceful enjoyment IMO. I wouldn't dream of putting a paying tenant through that especially if they had essay to write at the time. It's incredibly thoughtless IMO.

OP posts:

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:35

I think youre confusing me with someone else. I only joined today. Kindly check your facts before falsely accusing people. Friend is not me, or why would I lie?? What a strange response

OP posts:

anothermalteserplease · 09/01/2017 14:36

The set up doesn't sound great if your friend regularly needs peace and quiet to study. The LL isn't really doing anything wrong by having a friend over. I understand it's frustrating but I'd advise moving as I can't see your friend being happy there.

BarbarianMum · 09/01/2017 14:37

Tell your friend to buy ear defenders and ear plugs.

harderandharder2breathe · 09/01/2017 14:38

Having been a lodger, I would never have rented a room with only a partition, proper door required!

While I think some sympathy is required about the dog (it'll be calmer for him in his own environment rather than stressing him out for his final moments at the vets), I think the rest is yanbu

Unfortunately there's bugger all she can do about it so I suggest she move out.

LL/Lodger is a very tricky dynamic, but it does help if the LL has a houseshare mentality, rather than them being just LL. The last LL I had as a lodger was fine, but her student daughter was bloody hard work. I was there long term and saw many other lodgers come and go, some left because of the daughter. I left eventually cause I was sick of house sharing, especially with students, and found a flat on my own.

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:38

I'm also genuinely astounded at the opinions expressed here. I hope to god none of you are landlords. What an awful way to treat someone who is paying your wages in order to have a bit of the house to call home. No wonder my friend is so scared about making a fuss. I thought there'd be eons of support for her.

OP posts:

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:40

Thanks harderandharder2breathe, I'll show her your message. Much appreciated.

OP posts:

ShotsFired · 09/01/2017 14:41

I once lodged with a woman who didn't seem to realise that she would be having me live there, as well as pay rent. She hated me from the start, wanted me to never use the communal lounge and was only really allowed in the kitchen once she was finished (PA nonsense if I went in there just to get a drink).

She was quite bonkers. I was in and out within 4 weeks and ended up in a lodging for several years with a fantastic guy. I actually cried when I moved out (only because he sold up)

JaneAustinAllegro · 09/01/2017 14:42

your friend agreed to the expensive rent
your friend agreed to a room divided from living areas by a partition only, despite point 1 above.
the right to quiet enjoyment that arises in law in relation to a lease is expressly not a part of a licence to occupy, which is what a lodger arrangement is.
if being asked to be out of the house for half an hour while the dog is put down (presumably in the room separated by the partition anyway so who wants to be there?), then your friend's probably a bit too fragile a lodging arrangement anyway.

NerrSnerr · 09/01/2017 14:42

User it's up to your friend to have viewed the property and to have decided whether it's appropriate to live in. It's fair the landlady has friends round. The dog thing is odd but I would allow for odd if her dog is about to die.

There's a reason these setups are cheap, you need to compromise.

LouBlue1507 · 09/01/2017 14:44

Why did you post on 'Am I Being Unreasonable' if you just want people to agree with you, rather than give different opinions

Clearly you think you're right and the LL is awful, you're not willing to accept other people's views. You're in the wrong place!

Treaclex · 09/01/2017 14:45

I'm sorry User but your friend either moves out or speaks to LL but she cannot expect peace and quiet in a shared house. As for the wages comment really it's one room in the house your friend is renting so LL is hardly raking it in is she

WhiskyChick · 09/01/2017 14:47

It is still the woman's house. Things, indeed life, happens and at times people get stressed and upset. If your friend has an issue then she should move out. However she agreed the nice room in the nice house for the huge rent. Sounds like it's you with the issue here

gamerchick · 09/01/2017 14:49

Because there are not many people who repeatedly post threads who rent a room that isn't a room/just a partition.

I'm not accusing you and if it's not you then I apologise. However, the replies will still be the same.

Your friend needs to find somewhere else to live if she's going to find some peace.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 09/01/2017 14:50

Bonkers.

That's you, not the LL.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/01/2017 14:50

I'm sure we've had a thread about expensive accomodation and a partition bedroom fairly recently

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:55

gamerchick, do you happen to have the link for the other thread? Would be interested to read the responses.

Quick answers - she was assured of peace and quiet when she moved in, as she was concerned about the partition. She was assured the living room wasnt used, and wouldnt be used while she was renting.

Regarding no peace and quiet in a shared house, that's frankly bollocks. I'm a third year student and have never had to put up with anything like the level of noise she has reported. I'd have left already.

And again, I reiterate. Please none of you ever become LLs. The blatant disregard for a paying customer's welfare is beyond appalling.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 09/01/2017 14:57

I'm a bit confused OP. At the beginning of your post you say she's renting a 'nice room in a nice house' for which she's paying through the nose, and then you say she's got what is essentially a part of the kitchen with a partition across put across, am I reading the that right? In which case, why did she move in to the house in the first place?

It is a bit odd to ask everyone to be out when the dog is put to sleep, but it's her home and if she wants to have her dog end its life in its own home it's got bugger all to do with any of her tenants.

Likewise, in her own home she is entitled to have as many visitors as she wants.

If your friend doesn't like it why doesn't she move out.

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LouBlue1507 · 09/01/2017 14:59

OP - You ignored my comment:

^Today 14:44 LouBlue1507

Why did you post on 'Am I Being Unreasonable' if you just want people to agree with you, rather than give different opinions hmm

Clearly you think you're right and the LL is awful, you're not willing to accept other people's views. You're in the wrong place!^

Why are you posting on AIBU?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/01/2017 15:01

And again, I reiterate. Please none of you ever become LLs. The blatant disregard for a paying customer's welfare is beyond appalling.

Your rudeness is also quite telling.

Don't post asking for opinions if u out just want people to agree with you.

If you ask a question you should expect that people may not agree with you.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/01/2017 15:01

you

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