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I can't do this job

(14 Posts)
MrsGideon Mon 09-Jan-17 10:53:25

Feeling a bit shitty this morning.

I started a new job in internal recruitment at the end of august last year and have just passed my probation (yay!). The problem is that I just don't think I can do this job. It's a huge amount of work and so much more in depth than any other job I've had before. Everyone around me (including my 25 year old manager) is SO much smarter than me and able to juggle a million things at once, and I just feel like I'm dropping balls all over the place. I feel like a fraud who is going to be found out any minute.

I feel exhausted and have sore, red eyes all the time, no matter how much sleep I have. I have little to no social life and find it difficult to get myself out of the house when I'm not working. I know I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, but I thought throwing myself into a new job (which is objectively SO MUCH better than my last role, and I love the people I work with) would help get me out of my rut and challenge me in a good way.

Instead, it's making me feel so demotivated that I'm guiltily wiling away the morning on Mumsnet instead of doing my work.

I don't even know what I hope to achieve with this thread, but I don't really have anyone else I can talk frankly about it with at the moment.

Justme3 Mon 09-Jan-17 10:59:13

Ok, you've passed your probation. That's great! The people who you feel are so much smarter than you obviously feel you're good enough to pass! So that's a first bonus flowers

Next I suggest write a list of the things that are worrying you.
You've passed your probation yes but that does not mean that overnight you need to be champion of your whole job immediately

Do you have someone you could meet with to seek advice ? Perhaps if you don't go into said meeting with "I can't do this .." but think of a positive way to phrase it such as 'i always notice you're so organised / efficient / whatever else you're wanting help with. ..Do you think you could sit down with me and give me some pointers so I can improve in such and such an area?'

You CAN ask. I've managed enough people (I'm a teacher and have trained teaching assistants for years so I know it's a different field but I still go through probationary periods with people) and I don't expect them to be amazing immediately! I much prefer when people ask me for help because there is NO shame in it whatsoever.
Good luck !!

icanteven Mon 09-Jan-17 10:59:48

Do you want the job? Obviously they think you're doing really really well, and imposter syndrome is perfectly normal (right? I constantly feel like I'm going to get found out any minute now), but if it's actually making you unhappy and you are yearning for something (defined) that is different that you would would make you happy without maybe resulting in a pay cut, then maybe you could start actively looking towards making a change?

Do you feel like your workload is normal or that people are taking the piss a bit? Are you delegating properly or afraid to do so in case people think you are delegating because you are too incompetent to do the work yourself?

Realistically speaking your colleagues probably AREN'T much smarter than you, but if they are coping then they might be doing something that you are holding back from - saying "My to-do list is full for pretty much the whole week/day/year, if you need this before next week/tomorrow/2018, can you please ask Michael? I definitely can't handle it right now." when people dump another 8 projects on their desk, or saying "Ciara, can you help me with this please? There's too much in this project for one person." when necessary etc.

If you really are sinking, that's okay. Better to admit it now and get out before you end up wasting 3 years doing something you hate and that makes you miserable. Nobody would want that for you, least of all your colleagues.

OohhItsNotHoxton Mon 09-Jan-17 11:05:56

Sorry I have no wise advice. I just didn't want to read and run.
flowers I hope you get some productive replies.

MrsGideon Mon 09-Jan-17 11:18:23

Thanks so much for the replies.

I genuinely don't know if it's the job that's making me feel like this, or me

JennyHolzersGhost Mon 09-Jan-17 11:23:59

OP can I suggest that you take some time out to sit down with a cuppa and write a list. Get it all out of your brain and down on paper - tasks you need to do, your thoughts and feelings, everything that's whirling round your brain.
Then when you've done that, stand back and impose some order on it - separate out the 'to do' stuff from the 'I feel' stuff. That should help you see whether you've actually got too much on, or whether it's your stress about the job which is the main problem.

If your workload is too much then as someone said above, you might need to develop manager-managing skills grin - I found the phrase 'I am already doing x, y and z in that order of priority - where in that list should I slot task A (which you've just given me)?' acts as a reality check for managers who perhaps haven't realised quite how much you've got on your plate. It's also a good way of sounding willing while also getting them to specify what you should focus on.

BabychamSocialist Mon 09-Jan-17 15:43:27

Have a brew, have a sit down and make a list of pros and cons - that should help and clear your head. brew

elastamum Mon 09-Jan-17 15:49:17

Hi OP.
Sounds like the honeymoon period is over. IME what you are experiencing is pretty normal for someone who has taken a step up.

Before you throw in the towel - go on TED and google fake it until you make it. Then sit down and think about your work habits - what are your colleagues doing that you arent? What can you do differently

and try to get off mumsnet, it is the biggest time waster ever smile

Bornonthebayou Mon 09-Jan-17 16:23:55

Hi there OP, I bet you can do the job. I have just come out the other side of a very busy internal recruitment role and I totally get the paralysed mornings on mumsnet thing because that's me and also most people at times. The important thing is just to do something and not nothing at all. Make a list and do something on it and it will kick start the rest. Being organised is easier if you have the right tools too. What tools do your colleagues use to ease the workload? Maybe suggest a Friday hour where you all bring the things you are struggling with and share for solutions. Sometimes people look like they are the best copers ever and they are feeling just the same as you!

Starypjs Mon 09-Jan-17 16:58:33

OMG I totally feel like this and I too am faking it til I make it some days i feel like I made it. The list is the best tip don't leave work at night until u have done it for the next day even if its 2 pages long get it out of your head,it makes the next morning more approachable!

user1483981877 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:18:10

How are you feeling now the day is nearly over? (hopefully!) It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job of hanging in there, especially with those overwhelming feelings.

flippychick Mon 09-Jan-17 17:33:07

I feel like this every time I start a new job - it takes me 12 months before I feel capable and comparable to my peers, although I know from my managers reviews that how I perceive myself is not how others perceive me.

I don't know why, but women seem to suffer from Imposter Syndrome more than men.

Have you felt like this when starting jobs previously?

Dutch1e Mon 09-Jan-17 17:40:03

You really can do this job, that's what probation periods are for. If I get through 2 complete tasks on a task list of 30 items I feel like it's a productive day! Bonus points if you'very taken nibbles out of other tasks.

I don't even work in recruitment and I know how insanely high-pressured it can be.

Go easy on yourself, be happy if you get 2 things completely wrapped up, and embrace the word "no" (or at least start practising "I'd love to but don't have time")

Dutch1e Mon 09-Jan-17 17:40:39

*if you've taken, scuse phone

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