I work for a large company. Later this week there's a large LGBT+ event to launch a new support network for LGBT+ employees. I'm bi. I assume everyone at work thinks I'm straight as my DP is male and I have a child.
TBH, most people I know probably assume I'm straight, because it's pretty hard to casually introduce your sexuality into conversation when you don't have an easy social way to do it. If I was gay or dating a woman I'd be able to mention a girlfriend, but it sounds a bit crazy to say 'My boyfriend, but don't forget, I also like women!'.
I wasn't going to go to the event, because I kinda felt like I'd be taking up space and resources that would be better given to someone who doesn't get the 'benefit' of being assumed to be straight. However, I was in a meeting this morning when this event was mentioned and people were being a bit off about it - one person said they didn't see why 'people who wanted to keep things like that secret would attend' and 'shouldn't this event be for everyone'. I did respond generally that I thought that the company presumed that people didn't want to keep it a secret and that actually it's sometimes good that there are events for people who face challenges that other people don't face and that that's not exclusionary. There was a general tone (only from one or two) that felt, if unintentionally, a bit judgy. I like these people and I've worked with many of them for years, and I did find it a bit upsetting.
I am now undecided about whether to attend and put my queer cards on the table as it were. I almost feel like I ought to go, to demonstrate that I don't believe there's anything to be ashamed or reserved about and that being more open would help de-stigmatise. I do, however, worry that as a bi-woman in a hetero relationship I'd be seen as 'playing' at being part of the queer community, which I don't want to do, I just happen to fancy men and women and feel that being matter of fact about that might be a good thing to do.
It also feels odd, as it's not something I make a big deal of in my personal life, to make more of a deal about it at work. But then, my personal life is full of laid back and accepting folk, so I don't feel a need to bang any kind of drum.
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36 replies
IdBuyThatForADollar · 09/01/2017 10:08
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