Because I realised it is, at heart, an AIBU query? Here it is:
It's relevant to this tale to know that I used to live in the same town as ex and have now moved about five miles away. Also that a couple of years ago DS really, really wanted to go on a school trip that I just couldn't afford, and after the event ex told me I should have booked DS on and he (ex) would have paid half. Finally, as ex can't drive I drop DS off and pick him up every time he goes there - between 26 and 30 weekends of the year, at a rough guess.
So this year the residental trip letters come home and I duly sign DS up and fork out a rather eye-watering amount of money to pay for it, and let ex know the amounts. This was in autumn, probably October/November. I chased ex (politely) for at least some of the money by text on Friday.
Then when I dropped DS round there, ex's girlfriend sent DS to his room and ex (imo, rather pompously) informed me that he didn't want to fall out or anything, but while he was happy to contribute this time, I should realise that he pays his maintenance and so there really is no obligation for him to pay for this sort of thing, and so I shouldn't expect him to do so in future. (Don't know why his girlfriend needed to be there for this cosy little chat)
I am RAGING. I've done all the running around for access/visitation/whatever it's called now for the last three years - I've bent over backwards ever since ex left us to ensure that he maintained a strong relationship with DS. I am rather inclined to tell ex that he's right, we don't want to fall out over things we're not obligated to do, so he can sort his own fucking access out from now on as I won't be doing any more driving on his behalf. Clearly, if I do this, we are going to fall out. But I am really tired of just sucking up his shitty behaviour and keeping on, taking the moral high ground. It just gets me more bullying and shitty behaviour. Am I being hideously unreasonable? My mum says I need to put my foot down once and for all - she had similar with my own dad. My husband agrees. I do, and I want to do it, I'm just concerned about the fall out. If you've managed to slog your way through my tedious whinge then any opinions are gratefully received (unless they disagree, then they can naff off )
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AIBU?
To reproduce my other thread here
27 replies
isupposeitsverynice · 08/01/2017 21:25
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