Two faced

[piefacedClique]

DS has a lovely group of friends who we go to play with and have food with once a week after school. It Started as a pair of mums and our boys and is now a little group of 5 mums and kids. We have never excluded anyone and no other parents have asked to tag along in the past. At Christmas we went to the pantomime together and had a great time. On our way home another mum texted and was really upset we had excluded her and her son. Son is not someone who our kids ever mentions or seems to play with. She called us a horrible clique and said we should all go fuck ourselves! It was directed at a quiet mum who has been an aquintance of this girl in the past. Today said mum has texted me (no one else) to see if there are any plans for a play date after school and if she can join! Ordinarily I would absolutely say yes come along but AIBU to tell her to piss off given that she was really rude and particularly two faced! It's really awkward as If I don't reply or say no it adds to her feeling like we are a clique (furthest thing from what we actually are) but if I say yes come along I know I will feel really pissed off and two faced and struggle to speak to her. I would never want to exclude a little one from playing but can't help feeling thoroughly pissed off! suggestions for a first time poster???

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Reply text: meeting at 4pm to f* ourselves do you want to come then or join us after?

[piefacedClique]

[JanuaryMoods]

Remind her how rude she was to your friend and tell her that's why the answer is no.

[Magzmarsh]

You're right to be loyal to your friend. She would probably be the type who would cause a split in your group by being two faced and unkind. I would ignore her text and block her number. Why is she even in your contacts?

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I wouldn't want her there. Imagine how she'll be once she gets to know you if that's how she was when she didn't know you. No decent person I know would ever send the message she did so she does not get to join in.

[EZA15]

Please text her what allthebest said! Best response ever!

[piefacedClique]

Magzmarsh She is a school mum and our kids are in the same class. I have. Feeling the first message was sent after she had had a few drinks! really unpleasant tho, friend who received it was really upset

[piefacedClique]

Ha ha! I agree! It's hysterical!

[monkeywithacowface]

Before you reply at all talk to the friend who received the horrible text. I would be a bit suspicious of this woman's motives and if she was trying to stir up trouble amongst you and you friends. Not sure how I'd reply but I would resent being put in this position

[WorraLiberty]

I don't understand how or why she would have your phone numbers either?

[SallyGinnamon]

Sorry Mrs x. After the text that you sent mrs y which upset us all I don't think that we're your kind of people.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I woukd say, in light of you being unpleasent to friend, no sorry! I think she coukd be trouble. At our school there are, a few mum groups, those whose kids play with each other at school and as a result formed a friendship. Woukdent bother me.

[TheUpsideDown]

Explain you're not a clique and happy to include anyone in group activities. But as she's already been rude and abusive to your friend you feel it would cause an atmosphere. Maybe suggest she apologises to your friend and asks her if it would be OK to join you all, as you're not comfortable with going behind your friends back (thus reinforcing that you're all loyal trustworthy friends and won't accept any nonsense or bitchiness)

[piefacedClique]

They boys are all in the same class so all have each other's numbers for parties etc. It's only a small school. Would love to use allthebests reply but fear the school run would become a little frosty! Plus don't want people to think I'm a bitch! She's likely to play the hard done by card!

[Magzmarsh]

Well done op. Now you've deleted her you can ignore her. There would have been no purpose in texting her. What's the point in getting into conflict with someone like that?

[piefacedClique]

I know. I kind of want her to know that we all know how unpleasant she has been. Otherwise it feels like she's picked on the one and got away with it! Childish of me I guess!

[Magzmarsh]

I think she'll figure it out when she's ignored by all of you. She's probably desperately jealous of your friendship group, just continue to have a great time being kind and supportive to each other because the best revenge will always be living well

[Slimmingsnake]

Are you sure she sent the nasty message??? Did you actually see the text?.. could there be some history between the two ladies?

[RandomMess]

I think this would be a time to call her and start off with a "I'm a bit confused, you really upset x accused of us being a clique. So have you apologised to x?" Put her on the spot and address what happened one to one.

[piefacedClique]

Yeah we were all coming home together from the panto when the texts came through.... so she definitely sent them.... I could understand the text if we had all been a group before and had actually left her out but we had never all done anything together before. Thanks for the great responses..... i was worries maybe I was being the bitch or being hypersensitive

[piefacedClique]

Good plan randomMess

[Slimmingsnake]

I feel a bit sorry for her tbh..it probably wasn't her finest hour sending that text.she had probably be feeling lonely and left out and went about it all wrong

[piefacedClique]

I know! It's a definitely case of how to lose friends and alienate people!

[Suzytwoshoes]

How did she know about the panto?

Maybe the other friend had been rubbing it in her face?
It seems such an odd message to send unprovoked!

[piefacedClique]

We had put a pic of the kids at the panto on Facebook because a friend had arranged for us to meet the main character afterwards. The kids were loving meeting the hoff so we shared it.