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To be annoyed with my dp?

(82 Posts)
Iris65 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:43:20

We had lunch in an expensive bar. The waitress handed me my drink and as she walked away I knokec the glass over. When I was asked for a replacement I was told that I would have to buy another one.
I said to the waiter that I thought that wasn't very good customer relations as I hadn't even had a sip. Then I said I knew it wasn't his fault and could we have the bill please? I said all of this in my 'clipped' teacher's voice.
As we walked home my dp said that I had crossed the line and when I asked which line he said 'I should think about it.' I knew immediately what he meant and said that I didn't think I was rude or harsh. He then replied that I should go back and apologise. We had reached home by this point and I burst into tears (I have lot going on right now) and walked off. I'm now in a coffee shop feeling really annoyed at him and sorry for myself. AIBU?

TheVeryHungryDieter Sat 07-Jan-17 14:45:44

Well, yes, you were rude. You knocked over your own drink and got arsey with the staff because they wouldn't give you a freebie.

I understand how frustrating it must have been, but the staff were in no way responsible for your clumsiness, and didn't deserve the attitude. I'm sorry you have a lot on your plate, but it seems you were lashing out at the wrong people.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 07-Jan-17 14:46:07

Yes. You knocked your own drink over and got annoyed, that annoyance of directed at the waiting staff probably did come across as rude.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 07-Jan-17 14:46:24


CatsGoPurrrr Sat 07-Jan-17 14:48:00


You spilt your own drink and wanted a free replacement. In your own words your voice was 'clipped'.

You probably did sound rude and entitled.

Sorry for your other troubles.

madgingermunchkin Sat 07-Jan-17 14:48:19

Ywbu about getting another drink. You knocked it over, not the waiter.

And yes, it's incredibly rude and patronising when people pull out the "clipped" voice. My mother use to do it and it was mortifiying. Not only that, but I have worked as a waitress and it's so humiliating when customers in the wrong do their best to patronise you.

ArmfulOfRoses Sat 07-Jan-17 14:48:51

Urgh, I work in a bar and have this argument far more than I should given that it's over 18s I'm dealing with.

If I knock your drink over, or get it wrong, then I will replace with an apology and good grace.
If you knock your drink over or realise you don't like what you've ordered, then get your money out.

FeckinCrutches Sat 07-Jan-17 14:49:41

You're husband was probably embarrassed.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 07-Jan-17 14:50:02

You can tell a lot about someone by how they speak to people in the service industry, so I really hope that was a one-off, OP and you don't do that often, despite the fact you have a lot going on in your life.

SparkleShinyGlitter Sat 07-Jan-17 14:50:48

You knocked the drink over not the waitress so why should they replace it?

I also find it patronising to speak to an adult in a "clipped" teacher voice

Crunchymum Sat 07-Jan-17 14:50:52

Sorry you have a lot of shit going on but YWBU I'm afraid.

You knocked the drink over = you pay (and this is a rule that I would use in every situation)

Isadora2007 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:50:53

Yes you are being unreasonable. But maybe as you know you've got a lot on you should take this opportunity to speak to your dp about it all. Acknowledging you were in the wrong and rude but that it wasn't just about the drink...and then go on to explain what it is about.

smEGGnogg Sat 07-Jan-17 14:51:25

Do you always have such a self importance about you?!

You were rude and patronising.

poghogger Sat 07-Jan-17 14:51:34

You knocked your OWN drink over and wanted them to replace it for free?? Lol at the sense of entitlement TBH.

PeggyMitchell123 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:51:44

Well yes of course you were rude. It was not the waiter who knocked your drink, you did. Why on earth would you then think you would get a free drink. The waiter certainly did not deserve your clipped attitude for doing his job and I can understand your dp's comments completely.

gamerchick Sat 07-Jan-17 14:52:18

You knocked it over, you needed to pay for another one confused your bloke pointed out that you were out of line. Whether you've got a lot on is neither here nor there.

However it sounds as if any stress is coming out in funny ways, maybe you need a heart to heart to help deal with it, are you being supported by your dude in general? You cant take it out on random people.

MummyToThree479 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:53:37

YOU knocked the drink over not the waitress so why on Earth should they replace it?

It does sound like you were rude and so ducking patronising to speak to an adult in a I'm better than you clipped voice. Your dp was probably embrassed by you and I would of been too.

You really can tell a lot about a person but the way they treat people in restaurants/shops etc i always find

fourpawswhite Sat 07-Jan-17 14:53:56

Agree with all, and in particular madhatters it does indeed say a lot about a person.

Scooby20 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:54:45

Yabu. You even admit you brought out a teacher voice.

You spilt the drink and were rude. Your dp told you that you were and you kicked off

ShowMeTheWayHome Sat 07-Jan-17 14:55:07

I think it's really odd that you'd expect the staff to replace a drink that you had spilt confused

Waffles80 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:56:04

You are absolutely hilarious, OP. And beyond rude.

I hope your DH refuses to be seen in public with you again.

Or, is this a reverse?

Iris65 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:56:59

No my DP doesn't support me. And OK I can hear that I was rude.
Wasn't the waiter's problem that I've been through/ going through hell.
Just off to apologise to him.
And yes it's a pattern- I have a history of being abused, seeming OK and then getting upset over something trivial with a random person blush
Just feeling really down and alone.

Crunchymum Sat 07-Jan-17 14:57:14

OP, I fear AIBU is not the place for you if you have a lot going on and are feeling a bit fragile...

Isadora has the right advice.

JennyOnAPlate Sat 07-Jan-17 14:57:15

You can't expect to have your drink replaced when you knocked it over yourself confused

Who do you think should pay for it? The waiter whose fault it absolutely wasn't??

Bluntness100 Sat 07-Jan-17 14:57:33

Wow, so you knocked your own drink over, asked for s freebie, spoke in a rude tone to the unfortunate waiter, decided to leave immediately because uou didn't get your free drink, and when your husband pointed out you behaved badly, you cried and now you're in a cafe feeling annoyed at him and sorry for yourself?

Ok, I do hope that whatever you have going on is causing this and you resolve it soon and it's highly unreasonable and unacceptable behaviour.

You now owe both uour husband and the poor sod who had to serve you and apology.

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