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To want to slow contact until DS settled?

(7 Posts)
spaceyface89 Sat 07-Jan-17 11:35:18

My partner decided to leave my DS (7 months old) over Christmas. He asked us to leave our home saying he couldn't cope with responsibility of baby and relationship. He has remained in our house and my DS and I are staying temporarily with my parents.

I go back to work from maternity leave on Monday and have spent the last 6 weeks or so establishing a bedtime routine and feeding schedule to help the transition into work. The upheaval of my ex-partner's sudden decision has shattered my DS's routine and he is waking every 30 minutes through the night at the moment.

My ex-partner spent our relationship dictating the parameters of his involvement with DS, spending time with him only when he decided he wasn't at the pub/gym/town/sat on the sofa on his phone. He is now demanding weekends m

spaceyface89 Sat 07-Jan-17 11:39:27

Posted too early...

Demanding weekend contact at his convenience and overnight one evening. I don't want to deny my son the right to see his father but I feel any contact should now be my son's right and when is best for him, not at my ex-ps convenience.

He would like to take him all day and evening for his birthday this Sunday, on a long drive to his parents. I am reticent to agree to this as this is the day before my first day back to work and because my son is very fractious at the moment. I would like to limit contact to a few hours each week until my son is settled and content, after which I am open to discussions.

AIBU?

cansu Sat 07-Jan-17 11:42:47

He sounds like he wants him only to take to his parents.

pipsqueak25 Sat 07-Jan-17 11:50:58

yep, this is the new toy to show off to ma and pa. you are the main carer it has to be you who makes the rules, he can get contact through a court order if need be, but i doubt it would include so many hours tbh. he'll get bored as soon as the new toy comes along phone/woman/baby..

pipsqueak25 Sat 07-Jan-17 11:52:52

'demanding' hmm, swivel on that attitude for a start. if he becomes a bit of a knob about it, arrange a contact centre.

MommieMommyMom Sat 07-Jan-17 12:21:19

He ask you and your child to leave your family home and you actually left?? shock
What a
No. I would rather my homeless child have the stability of a regular routine at least.

RedHelenB Sat 07-Jan-17 12:34:05

Going against the grain a bit here - childfree time will allow you to sort yourself out ready for work and will well end up being the norm . If you can avoid court regarding contact it would be best all round. I wouldn't say weekend contact as his convenience but have a regular day/time slot.

Sometimes fathers end up as better fathers after a split because they have sole responsibility in "their" time and have to step up to the plate.

He was awful to kick you out though, hope your first day back at work goes ok.

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