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to not know what to say about this?

(9 Posts)
Latetobreakfast1 Fri 06-Jan-17 20:45:55

NDN approached me before september to ask if I could bring her DC home from school as she had not secured childcare a few days per week...I said no probs and on the whole it works out ok.

She offered to pay I say no - so she said how about I take your DC to school on those days in return - that sounded great as saves me getting my 3 LO's dressed and out the door. As her DC goes to breakfast club my DC goes too on those days.

The problem i have is that the pick up has become later and later to the point that now they are so late they are missing breakfast - DC said to me today they no longer want to go as they miss breakfast and just watch the others finish up and wait for school to start sad this will be particularly hard for my DC as they have some special needs around food.
DC has only been picked up twice this week and missed breakfast both days - the pick up was 15 minutes late both days.
(I feed my DC before the pick up so I'm not worried they are hungry at school, policy says they must be there by x time, they are now getting there 15 mins late - I had hoped the staff would say something)

NDN is very nice and I'm not sure what to say, whatever I say in my head sounds wrong....HELP.......I also don't want to just stop as I appreciate the mutual favour and I know she relies on me at the end of the school day.

Isadora2007 Fri 06-Jan-17 20:49:36

I'm a bit confused about why you feed your child if they're meant to have breakfast? But is it just that you feed them now because the neighbour is late?
If so, could you message saying "please can you let me know if you will be able to take DC to breakfast club as arranged for x o clock as we may have to make other arrangements if not"?

FatalKittehCharms Fri 06-Jan-17 21:17:38

How about something like the below?

'Hi [neighbour]. Whilst I appreciate your taking the children to breakfast club in the mornings, I'm concerned that the kids are getting there later and later. As you know, [DC] have special needs and they struggle with missing out on having breakfast with their friends. Also, I don't think it's helping to teach them about the importance of being on time.

Please can you ensure they are collected by [8.00] each day so that DC have a morning routine. If the pick-ups are no longer convenient, it's probably better to stop the arrangement and find another solution. All the best, Late'

Maybe a bit long smile

YelloDraw Fri 06-Jan-17 21:20:13

Just say

"Hi neighbour. I'm keen for the kids to be on time for breakfast club. Happy to continue the arrangement of you dropping and me collecting as long as you can get them there on time. If not, I'll just take and pick up my own."

Then give a week to see if it improves.

Pixilicious Fri 06-Jan-17 21:22:20

What Yello said

FatalKittehCharms Fri 06-Jan-17 21:22:54

I think you're too nice, OP. How long do you have her kids after school? Do they come to yours or go you drop them at their home?

Who is paying for breakfast club?

Please don't feel obligated because she relies on you. She should repay your kind heartedness by ensuring she picks up your DC on time.

If she doesn't become punctual, I would stop the mutual favour, as it's just causing you and your DV stress.

FatalKittehCharms Fri 06-Jan-17 21:24:25

DC not DV!

ChasedByBees Fri 06-Jan-17 21:31:08

Your NDN isn't that nice if she's causing your DC to miss breakfast. The arrangement is actually hindering rather than helping so I'd just suggest to her that it ends altogether.

Latetobreakfast1 Fri 06-Jan-17 22:05:27

The breakfast club is the free government one....its 45 minutes before schools starts.

At first my DC just had a piece of fruit at home while I fed my younger ones, then toast and cereal at breakfast club. When DC was a few minutes late and could only have one thing I started giving fruit and cereal at home - now DC is missing all food at breakfast club so i feed at home to ensure they have eaten before school - which kind of defeats the point of breakfast club also means NDN DC is not eating at all before school as NDN has said previously she does not feed her DC breakfast which makes me feel a bit confused now my DC has said they are missing breakfast regularly.

We have 1 DC each to get to school. After school her DC comes to mine until mum arrives, can be 10 mins, can be 40 mins or somewhere in between. I'm happy to give a drink and snack - DC plays with my DC no problems. She is a single working parent and i don't mind helping out.

my DC is struggling though with the lateness to breakfast club so i need to say something or just take DC to school myself blush

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