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Held to ransom over a bloody bed!

(9 Posts)
MySordidCakeSecret Fri 06-Jan-17 20:43:49

I'm sure i'm not BU. EX DP and father of my kids who i split up with last summer keeps demanding i pay him hundreds of pounds to keep the bed in my house that he brought nearly 2 yrs ago when we were living together. He paid just over £400 but thinks i should pay 2-300.

I think that firstly, as i have no income currently how does he expect me to pay this? Me and my son sleep in it, so it is unreasonable of him to threaten to take it away or deduct it from maintenance, as it's not like he'd get a lot 2nd hand for it anyway? He has a decent paying job and a bed in his current house but he doesn't like it apparently.

This conversation escalated earlier to the point where he said i own nothing in my house as he paid for it all (even though as a sahp i was facilitating his earnings). He got angry when i told him to leave and called me a cunt in front of the children and was acting aggressively. Then he said directly to DS that he was sorry he had a mother like me.

Trifleorbust Fri 06-Jan-17 20:45:55

Tell him to jog on. He can call the police or take you to small claims for the bed if he can be arsed.

MySordidCakeSecret Fri 06-Jan-17 20:47:33

He has threatened the police before. It's very stressful.

Trifleorbust Fri 06-Jan-17 20:49:08

Oh let him. The police will tell him it's a civil matter.

FudgeBiscuits Fri 06-Jan-17 20:49:29

Honestly, he's being extremely petty.

Ilovecaindingle Fri 06-Jan-17 20:50:35

Send him a bill for 50% of all the child care you have done so far while he worked...
And the laundry service.
And the ironing, cooking, cleaning, FUCKING EVERYTHING!!

Patriciathestripper1 Fri 06-Jan-17 20:52:58

Nothing he can do at all about bed or any of the furniture you have in your house. even in the small claims court, so tell him to fuck off.
Tell him if he wants todamage his relationship with his dc then carry on being a big arsehole and font let him come to the house to pick up either

gamerchick Fri 06-Jan-17 20:53:40

Man that's spooky, my ex is exactly like this. Right down to thinking he can sell stuff he's given as presents. I had to give him stuff we jointly owned when he left or he was taking all the stuff 'he' paid for, like the bed and settees. He paid for it ergo it belonged to him.

It's a weird control thing and a scary glimpse into their mind.

HecateAntaia Fri 06-Jan-17 21:32:06

He has a bed in his house he doesnt like and he wants yours?

You could suggest to him that you swap.

The outcome that you want here is a bed for you and your son to sleep on, the full amount of maintenance and an end to his harassment.

You could battle over this. You could tell him to take you to court. You could risk him being a cock over child maintenance. Certainly he is an utter dick to not care that his child would have nowhere to sleep. It tells me that his child does not matter to him.

But. You need a hassle free solution.

In your shoes i would offer to swap. I would say look, you surely dont want to leave the child you claim to love sleeping on the floor do you? It is vitally important to you to have this bed. Let's swap.

It's an option.
Yes, in an ideal world he wouldnt be such a bastard but he is and that's what you've got to deal with.

If he refuses then that's yet more proof that he doesnt care about his child he only cares about making life hard for you and you can tell him that and to take you to court and that's what you'll be describing to the judge.

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