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To be irrationally furious and upset about this

(98 Posts)
LosAngeles444 Fri 06-Jan-17 17:43:17

First week back at work after maternity leave. Work in a serviced office where we share the communal facilities with different companies. About to leave work and went to fridge to pick up my expensive £4 bottle of cold pressed juice and found some bastard has stolen it from the bag it was wrapped in!! That's so low. Trying to be healthy and get back in shape and some sod has done this. Irrationally furious! Any ideas for what sort of message I can leave in the fridge for the thief?!?!

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Fri 06-Jan-17 17:44:06

Fuck you, you juice cunt? grin

WellErrr Fri 06-Jan-17 17:44:45

Leave a similar bottle wrapped in a bag, but a message in the bottle saying 'fuck off you thieving piece of shit, I know who you are and I AM COMING FOR YOU.'

BratFarrarsPony Fri 06-Jan-17 17:45:33

leave a similar bottle wrapped in a bag, but full of ur piss....

LosAngeles444 Fri 06-Jan-17 17:47:13

Loving these suggestions! I'll get a bottle of green juice, drink it and leave something far les desirable in there instead. Love it!

FruJustFru Fri 06-Jan-17 17:47:25

I was just about to say what Brat has said grin

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Fri 06-Jan-17 17:47:31

Note:
FYI - LosAngeles hopes that whoever nicked the fruit juice on Friday has used plenty of bleach on their face and hands this weekend, as the I came down with norovirus an hour after putting my drink in the fridge. Karma loves a thief xxx

LaContessaDiPlump Fri 06-Jan-17 17:47:54

YES to what Brat said! Imagine their face when they take a swig of your chilled pee.

May I suggest you consume some asparagus this weekend? wink

FurryLittleTwerp Fri 06-Jan-17 17:47:58

Brat has the answer I think grin

FruJustFru Fri 06-Jan-17 17:48:59

So, it's green juice? Then urine mixed with some green food colouring!!

3luckystars Fri 06-Jan-17 17:49:22

Piss in a similar bottle and leave it there again tomorrow. Or a spit just.

TweedleDee3TweedleDum Fri 06-Jan-17 17:51:33

Ross Gellers Juice bottle?

FetchezLaVache Fri 06-Jan-17 17:52:42

Oh, pleeeeeeease do the piss thing!

marthastew Fri 06-Jan-17 17:52:45

A beautiful looking smoothie that has an awful lot of prune juice in it?

LosAngeles444 Fri 06-Jan-17 17:54:01

It's just so low for people to steal from you. I now cannot wait till Monday morning at work to execute these ideas. Screw you thief!

SanitysSake Fri 06-Jan-17 18:00:06

Oh, I'd be so going down the road of 'to the thief of my fruit juice. You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Because of that, I topped up the bottle you stole last night with my urine. Hope you enjoyed it'.

Fidelia Fri 06-Jan-17 18:03:49

Green smoothie? Laxatives grin

Ilovecaindingle Fri 06-Jan-17 18:06:06

Breast milk in a pint carton?

Joolsy Fri 06-Jan-17 18:11:43

Someone used some of my colleague's special non-dairy milk so she put a label on it saying "whoever used this, you may want to seek medical advice as it contains my medication..."!!

hesterton Fri 06-Jan-17 18:17:28

Yes - piss in it. Write 'I pissed in this" in waterproof ink on a piece of something too big to swallow which sinks so it comes out with the last swig/glass full.

EZA15 Fri 06-Jan-17 18:33:51

Just placemarking so I can the revenge results come next week!

Peanutandphoenix Fri 06-Jan-17 18:37:18

Put a shit ton of laxatives in some green juice and then sit back and wait you'll soon find out who stole your juice grin

SENPARENT Fri 06-Jan-17 18:40:11

Ha ha some great ideas on this thread!

TheOtherGalen Fri 06-Jan-17 18:54:13

Rub poison ivy oil all along the opening, then keep your eyes peeled for the telltale rash.

Witchend Fri 06-Jan-17 18:57:54

When that kept happening to the milk in the student fridge dsis shared someone eventually put a notice up:
"Will whoever took my milk (green top 2 pint) from the fridge please note that this was not exactly milk, it was a culture I was growing for my biology project. I suggest you see a doctor."
Very quickly the person they all suspected appeared looking rather green and berated them, purely in the interests of public health, for keeping that in a public fridge.
It didn't happen again.

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