Was this an unreasonable assumption RE neighbour and rubbish on our drive?(15 Posts)
I live in a terraced house, on the kinds of Edwardian streets which were laid out with lots of them. So going back from the road we have our house, then garden, then drive, then the alleyway. Then other neighbours opposite have the same. Many people have garages, whereas we just have a drive so in effect our drive is almost like an indent or a layby in the layout, even though it's private land. It's a gap in a row of garages.
Neighbours across the alley way opposite to us are having work done. Looks fairly major, their fencing is up, the garden is dug up etc. I came back from holiday on Monday to find a number of fence posts and planks on our drive. Given they're not ours, and given the work the opposite neighbours are having, I assumed they were left there by contractors. Not a big deal but now we're all back from holiday we need the space, and the drive and alley are small enough as it is. We can only just get 2 small cars on the drive, it's not huge.
I've been round several times this week to knock, but no-one answered, so this afternoon I left a note. It was very polite, saying "Hi I'm X from no. X on X Road and I think we've got some of your planks on our drive - could you please move them ASAP? Many thanks."
Not 5 minutes after I left the note the lady who owns the house was banging on the door. She was furious that I'd dared to leave a note and that lots of people have been putting notes through her door (NB: I only put one through!) and she was sick of it, only just moved in and already hated the area, how dare we accuse her contractors etc etc. She was obviously very angry and upset. I apologised for upsetting her, of course, but I only got the note thrown back at me and told never to contact her again. A few minutes later her contractor came round (he was much calmer and seemed a bit sheepish, I think he knew she'd already been round to shout) and he also said that they genuinely weren't his.
She was angry enough that it genuinely shocked me to be honest, and it shook me up a little bit. I'm slightly worried for our cars which are out the back now, she was that angry. But was I in the wrong? Was I unreasonable to assume the scrap wood had something to do with them? It just seemed the most logical place for them to have come from.
Nah, if your note was polite and you apologised then I think all is reasonable from your side. She sounds a bit over sensitive
You basically made an assumption and accused without proof.. If I'd been her and had it coming at all angles on top of having my house ripped apart, I might've been a bit hacked off too.
Awkward on both sides..
Maybe a conciliatory olive branch?
Ha, score one for each side then so far! Yes I did assume, but under the circumstances I'm not sure it was an unfair assumption. Or was it? Her fencing is all up and there's scrap fence posts and planks on our drive. No-one elses fencing is up. Like I said it just seemed the most logical place for them to have come from.
All it would have taken is for her to knock and say they weren't hers, I'm not sure the aggression was warranted. I can appreciate she may be feeling got at if she's had other notes through the door, but I had no way of knowing that she's had others.
I would try to apologise but I was told in no uncertain terms to leave her alone and not contact her again.
You were perfectly reasonable to make the assumption you did. No doubt if they were his and you had taken them to the dump to get rid she'd have been round to shout at you then too!
I'm not really sure what we'll do with them, they're far too big to go in our cars (without sawing into several pieces; we'd need to borrow some tools!). They definitely won't fit in our bins. For the moment I guess we'll have to bring them into the garden.
Our lovely landlady has already offered to come and collect them, but I'm not sure they'll fit in her car either! They are quite big pieces of wood.
I agree with Dilbert. I can see why she might be stressed and irritated, but that's a huge and inappropriate overreaction, imo.
Well the upside is we don't really have anything to do with the neighbours over the way, so it won't be difficult for me not to run into her again (they don't have a garage or drive, but a garden that goes right up to the boundary so they don't really use it to go in or out of their house).
I'm pretty socially awkward at the best of times and I'm always terrified of pitching things the wrong way so when something like this happens it does really make me question myself.
It's done now so I'll try and forget about it and have a relaxing evening.
I think she's protesting a bit too much. I'd pop her shit back on her drive late at night or when she's out. If she comes round, have a fucking massive go at her, really shouty and aggressive, denying everything and telling her how dare she blame you etc. She'll be taken aback by the surprise of the absurd over-reaction, just like you were, and hopefully she will fuck right off and get her contractor to take his shit somewhere else.
YANBU. It was a reasonable assumption for you to make, and your note was very polite . Ridiculous overreaction on her part.
Of course it's possible that contractor has been doing this to loads of people and denying it, and woman has been getting flak from them all. It's all a bit of a coincidence otherwise isn't it?
I think she's protesting too much too.
I can see lots of notes might have been annoying, but if you've only sent 1 that's not your fault and she was wrong to be angry.
I'd take your LL up on the offer of help. Two cars might be handy!
Haha it's far too cold and rainy for a bonfire party!
catkind yes I suppose it could be. I have no idea what the other notes were about but it could be anything!
Landlady is coming tomorrow morning, we will see what we can do then.
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