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To let my phobia ruin my life?

(36 Posts)
cookieswirls Thu 05-Jan-17 21:41:08

I have a fairly common phobia. I don't even like to mention the word so don't want to say what it is, but as I've got older I've got more affected by it. Now I have children and I feel I really need to sort this out. In some ways it is ruining my life and I don't want it to affect my dc. I would love to hear how you have all coped or overcome your phobias .

Gallavich Thu 05-Jan-17 21:44:18

If it's arachnophobia then I used to have this and it was awful. I did a course at London zoo it it was like magic. I'm completely over my phobia.

Magzmarsh Thu 05-Jan-17 21:46:12

Cognitive behavioural therapy

NorksAreMessy Thu 05-Jan-17 21:48:02

CBT sorted mine out in about four sessions.
Also, for some reason, and despite never mentioning it in CBT sessions, it meant that I could also go up ladders!

Weird cove, the brain!

Yoarchie Thu 05-Jan-17 21:49:41

I think it depends what it is. My kids are aware that I worry about things more than other people (phobia/OCD things not things that everyone worries about). Maybe it would be good first step to try and say what it is? Particularly as someone may be able to give you some really good help?

ExpectoPatronummmm Thu 05-Jan-17 21:49:56

Is it buttons?
That's mine.
It means I have to be selective over jobs (can't wear buttons on uniform)
My kids can't be bought clothes with uniforms
My OH has to wash his own work shirts and keep them away from me

cookieswirls Thu 05-Jan-17 21:51:03

I'm worried that I worry too much about it iyswim which also makes me think I may have other problems.

cookieswirls Thu 05-Jan-17 21:52:14

Expecto no not buttons but I can imagine that must be hard to live with

NorksAreMessy Thu 05-Jan-17 21:55:04


Really, properly do try it out.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 05-Jan-17 21:56:33

Please don't let it ruin your life, nobody deserves that flowers

I had emetophobia as a young adult to the point I only ate a handful of "safe" foods and missed a lot of college. TBH I mainly got over it by drinking too much at uni, not the heathy way I'm sure! I still have anxiety around it but not to the point of it ruining my life like it was before.

Toffeewhirl Thu 05-Jan-17 22:02:47

Go to your GP, explain the issue and how it's affecting your life (get someone to write the name down for you and hand the paper to your dr if you really can't write it or say it yourself) and ask to be referred for CBT therapy.

I have had CBT for a phobia myself. It taught me to think about it differently and also to expose myself to it very slowly at a manageable rate, so that my fear reduced. My son has also had CBT for anxiety and it was very effective.

NHS info here.

wundringnow Fri 06-Jan-17 05:33:30

My friend had a serious phobia of cats. She lived with it until she realised she couldn't even visit her own brother because he had a cat, so she took herself off to a psychologist with experience in phobias and she did many sessions of exposure therapy and CBT over a period of time.

By the end she could hold a cat which was astounding knowing how bad the phobia was before.

I hope you can get sone help! Phobias are awful.

WorkingGirlJem Fri 06-Jan-17 05:37:38

CBT helped me with several phobias that had got out of control. I was reluctant to try it at the beginning but now i wish i had done it years ago.

JungleInTheRumble Fri 06-Jan-17 05:39:37

I did the same London zoo course as a pp and it was great! I think it was the hypnotherapy part that was really effective.

I'm still scared of them but it's not a phobia anymore.

dollydaydream114 Fri 06-Jan-17 10:24:16

If it's affecting you to the point where it's stopping you from leading a normal life, definitely try to seek some help. You can go to your GP in the first instance, as they might be able to recommend you for CBT. If you can afford it there will be also be plenty of options for private treatment with a therapist.

People saying 'Is it this phobia? Is it that phobia?': the OP deliberately didn't mention the word because it distresses her, so perhaps it might be better not to make them be specific.

cookieswirls Fri 06-Jan-17 12:31:36

Dolly thank you. I feel quite embarrassed to talk to the Doctor as I feel they might not understand and I don't want to waste their time. A few people I have told don't really understand how much it affects me. My mum does but since I've lived independently it's gotten worse. It doesn't help that my phobia is something that children may want to encounter/ play with and I don't want to stop my children from experiencing things because of this. Sorry if that doesn't make much sense but I don't want to be too detailed about it. I will definitely research cbt but I really can't imagine it will 'cure'me.

ageingrunner Fri 06-Jan-17 12:38:04

I have/had a phobia of something that was quite easy to avoid, but did stop me doing something I like doing. I recently decided to have a look at some images of it online and research a bit about how the thing works, and this has actually helped!
The first time I googled images I had to tilt my phone away from me and nearly threw it in the air, but actually facing it has made me less scared. I have since faced the thing in real life and was a lot less scared and was actually able to look at it, where in the past I would have tried to avoid looking at it. I don't want to say what it is because it's quite an unusual one. I could never understand why other people weren't terrified too. Understanding how it works has been really helpful tbh, so it doesn't seem like a horrible, unknowable weirdness anymore.

LagunaBubbles Fri 06-Jan-17 12:40:51

CBT is very effective at tackling phobias, your GP wont laugh and would refer you to a psychologist I would imagine.

StillMaidOfStars Fri 06-Jan-17 12:42:36

Just chatting here, zero experience of formal help for a phobia (other than a massive glass of vino before flying)...

Is the phobia linked to a 'rational' fear (planes crash, spiders can be poisonous etc)? Or is it a visceral response to something not associated with danger (buttons, holes, balloons etc)? To help the former, in my case planes crashing, lots of reading and understanding how they fly/safety procedures/statistics really helped. Is that possible for your phobia?

Magzmarsh Fri 06-Jan-17 12:46:42

Is it balloons. I hate them and polystyrene for some reason though in my case it's not as serious as a phobia

DearMrDilkington Fri 06-Jan-17 12:53:08

Is it dogs? If so then CBT would really help you.

I don't live with a phobia but I do have social anxiety so I can understand the awful feeling of something holding you back from living life to the

Cakingbad Fri 06-Jan-17 12:53:53

I feel quite embarrassed to talk to the Doctor as I feel they might not understand and I don't want to waste their time.
You won't be wasting their time at all. You need help to get your phobia under control just as much as the next person needs help to manage their eczema or IBS. Your GP will have encountered this problem before. It's a common problem for us humans. Please go. If you can't talk about it just write it down or print out your posts from this thread. My friend's teenager got really effective help managing their phobia. It could really change your life. Good luck.

Cakingbad Fri 06-Jan-17 12:56:10

Don't forget to emphasise how much it is limiting what you do - how well you parent etc - that could be the key to getting a useful referral.

cookieswirls Fri 06-Jan-17 13:06:35

It's definitely a rational fear as it can hurt you. I cannot google it ! If I see a pic of it or something that looks like it I panic.

Ankleswingers Fri 06-Jan-17 13:10:49

I have severe emetophobia.

It's affecting my life every single day. I have sky high anxiety and feel quite unwell with it.

I have made an appointment to see my GP as I have to get some form of help.

I am sorry that you are suffering too op flowers. I completely understand how a phobia can make you feel. Please make, like I have just done, an appointment with your GP.


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