Sharenting

[Letsgohome]

I have a friend on Facebook who has always been a shared a lot on all forms of social media so, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat etc, even before becoming a mother, however now that she has a child she shares more than several times a day, photographs of this child's every move. As this child nears school age I feel more and more concerned that this is a breach of this child's right to privacy. The friend and the child's father have separated, I am concerned that this could be used against her in a custody battle. Thoughts please? AIBU to think that a child has the right not to have phographs and videos plastered over every form of social media on a daily basis?

[Trifleorbust]

Definitely unreasonable - her child, her decision to whom she shows pictures of him.

[DailyFail1]

Yabvu. She's not breaking the law. She's not harming her child. This is really none of your business.

[SaucyJack]

She sounds lonely to me, and that she's using social media to fill in the co-parenting gap left by the child's father as she hasn't got anyone else to tell about the "cute things little Timmy did earlier".

Be nice. Lots of people do it regardless of their relationship status anyway.

[TheSparrowhawk]

None of your business, wind your nosey neck in.

[TheStoic]

If you're morally opposed to kids being all over social media, that's valid.

But don't dress it up as 'concern' over a non-existent custody battle that may or may not happen in the future.

[cx5221]

Hmm are you the ex by any chance and trying to see if others agree with you?

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

Sharenting you say? I agree with you that it sounds excessive but its ultimately up to her.

[Letsgohome]

No, I'm not. He shares too but not to this extent. I understand people wanting to share their lives and kids on social media but genuine question, when a child cannot consent to this exposure is it not a breach of their rights?

[harderandharder2breathe]

Yabu, you said both parents share stuff online anyway!

Get a grip and leave the poor woman alone

[Trifleorbust]

Which rights are you referring to, OP? Rights aren't things we just make up. You clearly think it's harmful to overshare images (and it's possible you're right) but that doesn't mean the child has rights in this area.

[Letsgohome]

Thank you for your response Trifleorbust. UN rights of the child article 19 right to privacy. At what point is it Sharenting, dare I say it? Abusive? Harmful? Damaging?

[WorraLiberty]

AIBU to think that a child has the right not to have phographs and videos plastered over every form of social media on a daily basis?

YANBU. I'm glad I grew up before the social media age. The worst I had to worry about, was my Mum getting the family album out when my aunts came around.

No doubt she'll try raising her children to believe that looks aren't really important, whilst basking in all the 'likes' the photos of her kids get.

And she'll use the excuse that 'family in other countries/areas' like to see them, even though she could quite easily send a monthly email or text a few pics.

[BIgBagofJelly]

I would never choose to share so much myself and she'd have been hidden on my Facebook but YABU to be so bothered by it. What is she sharing that bothers you? I don't really see the difference between sharing one or two photos or sharing hundreds (apart from the fact everyone will stop looking).

[DonkeyOaty]

Yabu to use such a wnaky phrase

"Sharenting"

[AnnPerkins]

AIBU to think that a child has the right not to have phographs and videos plastered over every form of social media on a daily basis?

YANBU

I've seen lots of stuff on my FB feed from parents oversharing their children's lives: letters from school about the DC's weight, school reports, pictures of them asleep in funny positions, all stuff that I wouldn't want shared about me.

When I take photos of my son he will sometimes ask me not to put it on FB. He's 7 so able to speak his mind. Younger children can't.

[Trifleorbust]

Letsgohome: The UN right to privacy protects the child's right to a home and family life. It doesn't remove the rights of the parent to decide what that entails. You are being ridiculous.

[user1470997562]

YANBU to me. I don't put any pictures of dc on. I don't think it's fair to them.

But I think we are in the minority. Each to their own. I get irritated that there are hundreds of pictures of my dc on FB, that other people have put on and tagged me in. A friend of a friend put one on of me bf once. I had to ask her to remove it as I was unable to myself.

It's hard to explain. I came from a wc background but went to public school. So when I got a great job in the City, I didn't really want all and sundry to know my background and form opinions of me. Later on I worked in a care home. I wouldn't have wanted my colleagues to know I went to public school as I think that would have altered their opinion, than just taking me as I am. I want my dc to have that freedom so to speak - to represent themselves the way they want to as adults.

I have friends who post daily with pictures. I just think that's their choice, none of my business really.

[TheNaze73]

YABU. Just unfollow them. There's nothing more boring than other people's children.

[DeathStare]

You're the Daily Mail aren't you? Or Jeremy Kyle?

You've come up with an interesting bit of terminology ("sharenting") and are trying to start a debate around a vague issue that relates to "a friend" and not you.

I'm not buying it for a minute.

[SnipSnipMrBurgess]

So which "media" outlet are you from OP?

[LouBlue1507]

YABHU to consider sharing normal, happy pictures online as abusive! Wtf??

[cx5221]

Yeah I think media outlet, ex partner or ex partners new gf.
Sorry but you really don't sound like a 'friend' or like someone who is genuinely concerned for her you sound quite judgemental.

Whether people agree or not her child her choice really. Can you really see a judge awarding custody from the primary carer to the other parents because the mum posts photos than you are comfortable with on Facebook

[cx5221]

Sorry I meant can you really see a judge removing a child from the main carer and placing them with the other parent because she posts photos on Facebook. You sound ridiculous!
By that argument all young child actors should be removed from their parents because they are being publicised on a world wide basis for financial gain.

[Letsgohome]

Sharenting was added to the Oxford dictionary last year which did start me thinking about the topic, the friend is a very close friend whom I care for dearly but I struggle with the over exposure of her child to the point where I don't have a bond with the child. We are close and the "Sharenting" is possibly a generation thing that I don't get. I think future generations won't thank their parents for it. My eldest is 8 and he often asks me to put him on Facebook, which I don't, but simultaneously is embarrassed when he discovers I've shared the odd thing with a small number of immediate family via Whatsapp.
I think in a year or two the tabloids will be all over this topic and one which should be debated. And apologies it's UN rights of the child article 16, the right to privacy and protection of 'their good name' so imo debatable depending on what is being shared. Like someone said, I certainly wouldn't want similar photos shared of me.