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Wedding question - is it bad form to ask what colour the bridesmaids are wearing??

(56 Posts)
JoyfulAndTriumphant Wed 04-Jan-17 21:45:39

Going to a wedding next month and looking at dresses online.

Quite skint and also pregnant, I have a beautiful (expensive) flattering maxi dress in my wardrobe that I've only worn once before and I would love to wear it again.

However, I always think a maxi dress is a bit of a gamble if you don't know what colour the bridesmaids are wearing. Don't want to look like a wannabe bridesmaid and all...

Is it bad form to text the bride and ask the question?? I don't know her all that well, but she's very easy going and lovely. Just genuinely don't know if it's bad etiquette.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 04-Jan-17 21:47:31

The colour of the invitation often corresponds with the bridesmaid dress colour.

BeanAnTi Wed 04-Jan-17 21:47:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoyfulAndTriumphant Wed 04-Jan-17 21:48:09

Very plain invitation, I wouldn't like to rely on it as gospel.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 04-Jan-17 21:49:48

I would go with the dress you have. A beautiful, flattering dress sounds perfect.

NicknameUsed Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:02

"The colour of the invitation often corresponds with the bridesmaid dress colour."

That's a new one to me. I have never heard of that before.

SuperSange Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:05

I've done just that before, and the bride really appreciated the thought/gesture.

milpool Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:20

Just does it?! Never heard that before confused

I think it's sensible to ask. Nobody would be offended I'm sure!

Alwaysrushingaround Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:38

I've done this before and the bride wasn't offended! Definitely ask - it will be one less thing to worry about!

Pineapplemilkshake Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:51

I maybe wouldn't ask directly but would say something like "I was thinking of wearing my (teal) dress, just checking with you in case I clash with the bridesmaids?"

But I'm sure most brides wouldn't mind being asked either, in getting married soon and wouldn't be offended if anyone asked!

ClaraLane Wed 04-Jan-17 21:51:07

I would send her a message and ask what colour they're wearing because you don't want to clash. I'm sure she won't mind telling you.

YelloDraw Wed 04-Jan-17 21:52:21

"The colour of the invitation often corresponds with the bridesmaid dress colour

Only if you are an American Pinterest queen or you tube vlogger

Not in the real world

kel12345 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:52:51

I wouldn't have been offended if someone asked me that question when I was getting married.
Agree with the poster who suggested asking more indirectly though.

kel12345 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:53:37

Also I've never heard of that about the invitations. Ours matched the colour theme of the whole day- red and white.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 04-Jan-17 21:53:44

Yes. Most of the invitations I've ever had, have had a nod to the wedding colours. Ribbon, envelope or enclosed RSVP card usually coordinates with the bridesmaid's dresses, groom's tie etc.

MrsK8541 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:56:16

I think I'd find it quite thoughtful of one of my guests to ask! Though my bridesmaid colours were kept under wraps. YANBU to ask her. Enjoy the wedding!

GrannyGoggles Wed 04-Jan-17 21:57:35

Overthinking. Wear your flattering dress. Don't bother the bride. Enjoy the wedding. No body other than you will care what you wear.

BoBo90 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:58:33

I'd rather a guest asked me the colour scheme than turned up looking like a bridesmaid 🙂

JoyfulAndTriumphant Wed 04-Jan-17 22:00:12

Thanks everyone!! I'll message her I think. I don't think she'll mind. Keep everything crossed that it's not blue/green!

Granny I once wore a dress to a wedding that was the same colour (but nothing like the style) of the bridesmaids dresses. I wasn't bothered until some acquantance of DH came up and said "nice dress...were you upset not to be asked to be a bridesmaid or something??" Twat. His wife about died of embarrassment.

leccybill Wed 04-Jan-17 22:00:19

I've asked before. Bride didn't mind at all.

Have had quite a few invitations from small, budget weddings upto extravaganzas where the invitation was in theme colours which matched the bridesmaid dresses.

DramaAlpaca Wed 04-Jan-17 22:02:02

My delightful SIL wouldn't tell me what colour her bridesmaids were wearing.

Then she got upset when I, by a complete fluke, turned up in the same colour. Fortunately a completely different style.

I felt bad, but I'd had absolutely no idea because she refused to tell me & my DM wasn't told either. There was also no clue on the invitation.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn Wed 04-Jan-17 22:02:29

I thought it was normal for the invite to match the colour scheme? I can't think of a single wedding I've been to where it hasn't.

guiltynetter Wed 04-Jan-17 22:04:22

i don't understand why you wouldn't tell anybody what colour your bridesmaids are wearing. keeping it under wraps? what for? am i missing something?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Wed 04-Jan-17 22:04:22

I wouldn't have minded being asked, but I know some brides who were very secretive about colours etc, so would go with pineapples suggestion - ask if the colour of your dress is ok, rather than asking the colour of the bridesmaids, so I'd she wants a surprise it still will be

milpool Wed 04-Jan-17 22:06:06

What tbh I can't say I'd have noticed if the invitation and colour scheme matched or not grin

We didn't have a colour scheme to match to really... but then I also wouldn't have cared if someone turned up in a dress the same colour as my bridesmaids. Each to their own I guess.

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