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To think it's ok to gently see if someone wants help?

(7 Posts)
SeasickCrocodile Wed 04-Jan-17 20:13:38

Walking through the park with my 2 month old and a friend with baby in a carrier. I was constantly readjusting the baby because I was worried she couldn't breathe properly. A woman approached and told me I had the damn thing on wrong or at least not right and could she help. She sorted it and I was ever so grateful as it's actually far more comfortable now and the baby isn't smooshed into my front. My friend thought the woman was being judgemental, rude and shouldn't have approached. I was actually quite appreciative. Is it not strange to be cross because someone genuinely tried to help you and your baby?

MiddleClassProblem Wed 04-Jan-17 20:16:51

I can't see how it's judgmental if she was helping you with something that was being used incorrectly. That's not opinion it's fact. Judgmental would be telling you you shouldn't be using that and use something else. And she asked if she could help you out. I'm with you on this.

RabbitSaysWoof Wed 04-Jan-17 20:20:16

It's nice she helped you and you don't think she was interfering.
It would have pissed me off tbh, but that's just me. I didn't like the amount of interest having a baby with me generated from people I don't know in general. I can't explain why I'm just a private person and felt particularly self conscious and not like myself when my child was that young.

RabbitSaysWoof Wed 04-Jan-17 20:22:27

Sorry posted too soon, maybe your friend was projecting similar feelings? you say she had a baby with her too, maybe she has encountered similar.

identityhidden Wed 04-Jan-17 20:24:42

No, I think that was lovely of her to offer.

Not quite the same but I got very upset in hospital today, proper snorting and sobbing type upset. I had to walk back from one part of the ward to my bed whilst upset passing a few people (nurses, etc). No one stopped me , until I got back to my bed and then the domestic lady came over and gave me a cup of tea and patted my shoulder. It's lovely when people can offer help and their kindness sticks with you.

RabbitSaysWoof Wed 04-Jan-17 20:28:12

Hidden flowers

MrsHathaway Wed 04-Jan-17 21:06:09

Well done that woman. A bad sling will be abandoned - now you're set up for lots of good expeditions.

It's all about tone, though, isn't it?

"Oh I remember how difficult I found my sling at first - can I show you the trick to get it balanced? What a lovely smiley baby" etc

Or

"You! You there! You're going to suffocate that poor child. Come here! Honestly, don't you know anything about slings?"

I'm guessing your encounter was more like the former than the latter. grin

Happy slinging!

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