My DD (only child if it is relevant) is 13 yo, county/regional level at a sport. She certainly has potential to go far - her coaches want her to up her commitment (go for higher level competitions and up her training by a couple of hours a week - she currently does 4 hrs p/w), as they recognise her potential and can see her at national level.
In the past DD has said she wants to push herself as far as she can go (talks of representing England etc), yet at the same time gets really nervous before she competes, and often says she wants to quit just before the comp starts. She then goes on to perform really well!
She is getting to that age where she would prefer not to do anything other than play on her phone - she has given up loads of hobbies/sports, which feels like a shame, but we don't want to dictate to her how she lives her life. However, she is now saying she wants to stop the sport that she is really good at ('I'll take up something else so I don't get unfit' she says).
My questions is - should we encourage/make her carry on despite getting nervous and saying she wants to stop, because this could all be tied up in performance anxiety about not winning (she is a perfectionist!), or should we let her stop and then have her turn round when she is older saying we should have made her carry on as we knew how much she wanted to succeed! It is sort of a sport she could get back into after taking a break, but with other kids continuing she would be constanly playing catch-up if she took a break, so I think it would wreck her confidence.
I wish I knew what to do for the best! You read posts form people saying they wish their parents had let them quit activities, and then posts saying they regret their parents letting them give up!
LOL
Oh, and FWIW, we as parents are not involved in the sport/club at any level so have no personal interest in her carrying on iyswim, and as she is our only, we are happy to drive her to events etc.
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AIBU?
To let DD stop doing the sport she is really good at? Don't know what to do for the best!
61 replies
Cellarie · 04/01/2017 16:24
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