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To not really do much with my 3 year old

(14 Posts)
user1483474832 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:37:19

He goes to his Dad every other weekend. His Dad has a car and lots of extended family so he has a great time. My Son loves going in the car and visiting his relatives. He goes to farms, zoos, soft play centres, parks. He loves going to his Dads.

I work part time (soon to be full time). My situation is different. I have no friends in this area, no family and no car. It's a bus ride to get anywhere. My Son does like going in the bus so I take him swimming, soft play and for walks around town.

The problem is he's still not that good a walker and getting a pram on the buses here is not something I would even consider. I have to get out every day but most of the time we just walk somewhere or go to the local park.

I don't actually do much with him and we spend most days just in the house.

He won't do crafts or structured activities so I just let him play on his own.
He goes to nursery three days a week and I love when he's there as he's getting social interaction and making friends.

I have to be honest and say I really don't like going out with him. I find it very stressful unless I'm with someone else and I'm either staying very local or going somewhere by car.

It's completely different when you have a car and I absolutely love going places when my parents come up or I go on a joint visit with my ex.

I was supposed to take him to soft play today but he said he just wanted to stay in. We're going to spend an hour on the trampoline e instead and. Go for a walk.

I feel a bit bad really and I'm looking forward to him being st school and having friends so he's not as isolated.

AIBU to not really do anything with him?

user1483474832 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:42:09

We do go out every day. I go mad without fresh air and exercise or some sort but it's usually just a walk locally or to th local park.

I wish I lived somewhere with more in walking distance but I don't or I would do much more.

Even a supermarket is a bus ride away. Only thinks walking distance are a local park a toy shop and a soft play centre. We do visit them regularly. I just feel we don't really do anything very exciting and are usually it for only an hour a day. The rest is inside.

Afreshstartplease Wed 04-Jan-17 11:42:52

You do do things with him!

More than I do with my three year old to be honest!

He doesn't need taking out all the time, as he's told you today he likes having some down time at home

My dd is 3.9, most of our outings involve shops, school run or appointments! She does however enjoys crafty things, playdoh etc

user1483474832 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:46:06

He loves play doh. Just not crafts. He likes emptying paint out but that's it really.

I've not the most maternal person. Love my son more than anything but find actually taking him out a bit boring if I'm honest. Unless it's something we both enjoy like swimming or going for a nice meal.

Parks are quite boring I find and soft play centres I can only stand if there's free wifi!

Soozikinzi Wed 04-Jan-17 11:46:13

It sounds like he has A very good mixture of different activities home comforts and out and about stuff to make him a well balanced individual xx

user1483474832 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:46:51

Thank you. He is a very happy boy. I just worry he's lonely and bored as I was like that as a child :-(

Coffeeisnecessary Wed 04-Jan-17 11:48:21

Sounds like you do loads to me! Cut yourself some slack! Children need down time and if it was all zoos and days out they would be a bit bored just doing normal things which isn't good for them. Sounds like you are doing brilliantly and it must be very hard with no local support.

user1483474832 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:48:45

Does anyone find they use the internet a lot throughout the day? I'm so bored without it but feel bad as I'm in my phone a lot of the day.

I don't ignore him though and do play with him throughout the day.

Kevinbaconsrealwife Wed 04-Jan-17 11:51:44

Honestly sounds to me like he has a lovely life and a very kind and thoughtful mum....there seems so much pressure these days for us all to have to be doing something all the time....just keep on doing what you're doing...

sobeyondthehills Wed 04-Jan-17 12:35:18

If I am going to be honest I spend too much time on the internet. To try and help, we have an hour (could be more could be less) of just play time, tv off, laptop off, phone away.

Radio is on, because I cant stand silence and we either play together or DS plays apart and I do something else. We also rarely do anything other than park, if its just the two of us. Or just a walk round the block (DS is 4 nearly 5)

PickledCauliflower Wed 04-Jan-17 13:02:22

Sounds more than fine to me.

I think it's great that he is happy to play on his own and doesn't need adult attention all of the time.
I also think that some children can be spoilt with too many treats and activities, it's not realistic / affordable for most people. If you matched his dad with his weekend activities he would forget how to entertain himself.

Heatherbell1978 Wed 04-Jan-17 13:12:50

You sound a bit like me with my 2.4 year old. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and DH and I do activities with him at weekends but on the days I have him alone I tend not to have a car (DH takes it to work) and we hardly do anything. I hate the cold weather and having to wrap him up constantly and find the local parks boring. He's not really one for sitting in the buggy for too long either. He loves being in the house with mummy and playing with his cars and pottering around but invariably watches a lot of TV too. I'm think if it's just a day or 2 a week and not every day it's probably not the end of the world.

Cocopopsrule Wed 04-Jan-17 13:14:30

You do more than me. We do one thing a day and if I need to go shopping that's the thing. I involve my toddler in what Im doing though - stirring and 'cutting' with a butter knife when cooking, sorting clean laundry into piles according to owner, cleaning with a dustpan and brush. We also just go for a walk, look at the decorations or fountains in the shoppojng center or to the local park. We've never been to a soft play and rarely swimming other than when on holiday or high summer. I think you're doing fine. We often have another parent and child over for a tea and playtime - I met some people through her nursery. Is this possible?

Error404usernamenotfound Wed 04-Jan-17 13:19:25

You do plenty; walks, going to the park, soft play, and swimming, as well as downtime at home playing with toys or just generally interacting with him. He gets loads of social interaction just from those things, as well as with his dad's family and at nursery. Sounds like he has a great life!

And yes, I spend a fair amount of time when home alone with DD (2.9) on the internet, especially if she is engrossed in her own little imaginative world. grin

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