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To want a life?

(9 Posts)
Littlemissindependent Wed 04-Jan-17 10:35:25

I've been single for 3 years since divorcing my exh due to him being emotionally/financially abusive. In 3 years I've had 3 nights out. 1 for my birthday earlier this year where I met someone. Saw him 4 times, it turned out to be an utter disaster and that was that. Decided I'm better off by myself.
However, exh has now got wind that I met this person and saw him a couple of times and has flipped out at me. Apparently I'm an unfit parent, I've hurt and betrayed him as he hoped we'd eventually get back together, he hasn't seen anyone since we split so as 'not to hurt me'. I have not once given him any hint that there's any possibility of us reconciling!
I'm now sitting here wondering if being a single mum just means not being 'allowed' to have any sort of relationship or social life until DD is 18? And if I do, should I just expect to be criticised for it?

Lilaclily Wed 04-Jan-17 10:36:28

Just ignore him

Mummyreindeerlegz Wed 04-Jan-17 10:37:34

Ignore. I'd tell him you are only going to converse about your child and your personal life is none of his business.

Mrsderekshepard Wed 04-Jan-17 10:38:12

You only live once so grab the opportunity to live life to the best you can. Just because you have children does not mean that your life is on hold. Get out there and have fun

SVJAA Wed 04-Jan-17 10:39:07

I was single (happily) for 4 years after I left XH. He, however, saw this as me missing him hmm when I eventually met DP and it became serious XH flipped and hit me again because I was "his wife" hmm
All this despite him having numerous fleeting "relationships" and introducing them all to DS as "your new mummy".
Your XH is a dick and he's out of order. Ignore him. Unless it becomes aggressive in which case call the police, they will take it seriously.

19lottie82 Wed 04-Jan-17 10:39:34

Another vote for just ignore him. Don't even enter in to the conversation. Ignore. Ignore and Ignore again!

Namechanger2015 Wed 04-Jan-17 10:41:38

He is continuing to be emotionally abusing. You have to take what he is saying and disregard it comepletely.

I left my abusive ExH two years ago and have been on plenty of nights out and holidays etc. He tried to bring this up in court suggesting I am a bad mum because I went on hol for a week over half term whilst he had the children.

My solicitor just said 'and? So what?' You are not expected to stop your life completely in order to be a good mum. You are a good mum by leaving the abusive twat.

Littlemissindependent Wed 04-Jan-17 11:22:43

I have tried so many times to just ignore him, but he always manages to find a way to get to me. We have a court order in place re contact which he barely manages to adhere to, despite him being the one who initiated it, and he's charm personified as and when he wants things his way. I don't want DD growing up with parents who are constantly at loggerheads but I just don't know what to do for the best! If I tell him to converse purely through solicitors or a third party then he tells me that I'm being immature and selfish

robinofsherwood Wed 04-Jan-17 13:10:35

There has to be a limit to what you'll put up with for amicable relationship. You broke you & your daughter free of an abusive relationship. This is him trying to keep hold of you. Of course its not ideal for her to have two parents who are at loggerheads but the alternative - for her to see her mum controlled - is worse. Let him say youre immature and selfish - you deserve a life & your daughter needs to see you have one.

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