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AIBU?

To get annoyed about bed hogging

47 replies

sugarplumfairy28 · 04/01/2017 09:18

We used to have a standard double, DH is always right over my side, one night he actually managed to push me out, I fell out and cut my head open. I very luckily got hold of a new super king size bed for next to nothing and thought problem solved. I keep saying to DH does he want to swap sides, nope. I have told him over and over again to stay over his side, he pokes fun at me and says it's just cuddling and laughing it off. I wake up 3-4 times a night having to shove him back over, but last night he shoved me off again.

I mean FFS it's a superking so nearly 2 metres wide, we're not short on space, even if both the kids get in too. DH thinks it's funny, so AIBU?

OP posts:
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OneWithTheForce · 04/01/2017 09:19

Get two singles. Leave a slight gap between them. He'll soon stop the shuffle when he repeatedly loses his arse down the gully in between Grin

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DailyFail1 · 04/01/2017 09:28

Separate beds.

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pieceofpurplesky · 04/01/2017 09:30

Same happened to me. Now divorced so have the whole king size bed to myself. Mostly. Last night I ended up with DS (12) who woke at 3 and was freezing cold so came and starfished in my bed, the dog and the cat.

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YetAnotherUser · 04/01/2017 09:30

Set up a neutral zone in the middle.

Possibly with razor wire and landmines.

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OneWithTheForce · 04/01/2017 09:37

You could get some of that cat proof fencing to keep him on his own side.

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ClopySow · 04/01/2017 09:39

I'm not sure there's much he can do to control his behaviour when he's asleep.

Either separate beds or pillows down the middle. Or yetanothers suggestion.

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ClopySow · 04/01/2017 09:40

But no, yanbu. And him finding it funny must be infuriating. Maybe he'd find it less funny if you tell him you want separate beds.

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ToneDeafHamster · 04/01/2017 09:42

Keep a sharp stick by your side of the bed and poke him with it when he gets too far over your side!

We have a superking and all three of us (myself, DH and DD) manage to sleep in it without getting squashed, so I feel for you. Tell him you don't find it funny at all.

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MatildaTheCat · 04/01/2017 09:45

Pillows down the middle and separate duvets? And wake him up. Every. Single. Time. He will soon be less amused.

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onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 04/01/2017 10:25

Get out of your side
Walk around the bed
Get the space he has left on his side
I know someone who used to regularly do this

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Chwaraeteg · 04/01/2017 10:26

You need an Amish-style bundling board.

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MotherKat · 04/01/2017 10:30

We had this, I now use one of my old v shaped nursing pillows with one arm of it under my head so there is a little wall, I found he pushes up against it a bit, but it stops him shoving me all the way out of bed.
If he thinks it's funny despite having injured you previously I think he's a bit of a git.

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SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/01/2017 10:35

It's not funny at all as it's depriving you of a restful night's sleep. I find it bad enough that my 3 year old invades and does it which is more forgivable.

Wake him up every time so that at least he understands how disruptive it is.

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 04/01/2017 10:40

He thinks it's funny that you cut your head open and never get a good night's sleep? What a twat.

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harderandharder2breathe · 04/01/2017 10:46

He's a twat for thinking it's funny even after injuring you and you repeatedly telling him to stop

Wake him up every single time
Pillows down the middle of the bed
Threaten separate beds if it carries on and stick to it

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DeleteOrDecay · 04/01/2017 10:49

He may not be able to help it but he is a test for finding it funny especially after you've been injured as a result.

Pillows or towels down the middle might help.

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00100001 · 04/01/2017 11:08

It depends if he's doing it on purpose or not.

If it is when he's asleep and has 'no control' over it - a barrier would stop him (e.g. a pillow)

If he's doing it on purpose, he's a dick - and just roll him back to his side when he's asleep and wake him up.
Or
When he gets you to the edge, climb over him and get on "his side" - see if he wriggles far enough to fall off!

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BirdInTheRoom · 04/01/2017 11:11

Pile of pillows between you, just at the head end of the bed is enough (this also helps to block out heavy breathing/snoring in your ear!) and separate duvets!

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Randonneur · 04/01/2017 11:16

Have you discussed it at a neutral time and told him how it makes you feel? My dh sometimes finds things funny because he doesn't realise they are hurtful (or just annoying but hurtful that he doesn't take my irritation seriously!) but if I sit him down and really spell it out he at least as tries to change it.

Won't let us get a superking though as he thinks it's the gateway to sleeping in separate beds/rooms Hmmso I just elbow him every time he encroaches on my space. (Although I actually get better results if I wake him up and ask him to move)

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SloanePeterson · 04/01/2017 11:22

I share a superking with my giant of a husband and tbh we struggle now if we have to stay in a smaller bed. Separate duvets have definitely helped, I hate sharing a bed as I struggle badly with insomnia but separate duvets has been a step in the right direction. I don't understand his reluctance to get a bigger bed though, we started off with a double and I'll never go back to smaller than superking now.

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sugarplumfairy28 · 04/01/2017 11:57

I sleep on my front, always have done nothing new, he always puts his arm under my pillow, I usually wake up with dreadful neck pain. He does always say sorry. He was also very apologetic when I cut my head and said he would try not to. Tea on tap all day sort of sorry.

I'm not sure if he knows his doing it, I normally get huffed at and moaned at whenever I move him. I talk to him about it in the day and he just says that obviously even when he is asleep he wants to be near me, and that it's cute. Which is all very nice but not really helpful. Before we got the Superking I did say I'd get singles, he must have some control over it as for about 3-4 weeks he stopped.

I'm going to have a look around and see if I can find some spare pillows and try that.

OP posts:
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KC225 · 04/01/2017 12:01

Agree with Matilda, same bed separate quilts. Changed my life. We even have different toggs.

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Palace2 · 04/01/2017 12:08

Someone I know complains his wife has wrapped a brooms tick inside an old quilt and it is placed down the middle of the bed. (Not a good marriage at the moment) it wakes him up if he moves over too far. DrastI measure I know.

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Petalbird · 04/01/2017 12:09

Can the bed go against a wall on your side? My DP sometimes likes to see how much bed he can have (we have separate duvets too so he can't fight me for that) and I just end up in my soft toy pile by the wall which is better that the floor

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ClopySow · 04/01/2017 12:15

Before we got the Superking I did say I'd get singles

I read that as shingles. That might keep him at bay.

Threaten him with shingles and singles again - see what happens. If he controlled it before, he can do it again. Whether he wants to be close to you or not, he's wrecking your sleep and causing you physical pain. That's not cute.

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