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AIBU to say NO in future?

(13 Posts)
Littlemissdemeanour Tue 03-Jan-17 19:07:28

Best friend got a dog over a year ago. He's small and I generally love him, and have looked after him several times. However, I've noticed he's increasingly yappy; barks at everything. My dishwasher beeps, he barks incessantly, ditto washing machine, phone and anyone daring to walk past (I'm in a ground floor apartment).

Onto the real issue. On New Year's Eve she came over for the evening with the mutt. She brings him along without even asking now, I suppose I've not said to contrary, although I do find it slightly off.

Over the course of the night he was hyper at people walking past outside and barking like a banshee. I asked her to settle him but she almost encourages it saying 'oh poochy, look it's people'. I remind her I'm in a flat with neighbours (I've had horrid loud neighbours before so hyper conscious of this). Furthermore, not actually meant to have dogs in here, in title deeds, new build. While plenty neighbours do, I never hear a peep.

It really kicked off at bedtime. He goes into a cage and when we went to bed he howled and barked. The noise! She was in the bedroom next door and just ignored it. I got up. Not fair! She said 'he will calm eventually'..I said no way, not least for my neighbours, but for me too (insomniac). She grudgingly got up, clearly huffing at me, and had (or so I thought) dealt with it as there was no further noise.

Imagine my horror when he totted out of MY spare room BED in the morning. Now, I don't have a lot and what I do have I worked hard for. The bed was saved up for and the linen is good quality and silk (cue potential paw risk!).

AIBU to be fizzing she didn't deal with the issue in the first place the allowed him into my bloody bed with out even asking first? I feel really put out.

WIBU to say he cannot sleepover again and tell a white lie a neighbour complained to avoid an escalating conflict?

I really love her as a friend, but she cannot control her dog and is putting me in a crap position- we were both exhausted New Year's Day. Also, in another home I had my own dog for 15 years and he most certainly did not bark, nor would I permit him carrying on.

Help!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Tue 03-Jan-17 19:10:13

Why lie, just tell her the truth. I'm always blunt and direct with my friends (I don't have all that many though)

AmeliaJack Tue 03-Jan-17 19:10:19

Not in any way unreasonable.

ZogsAnon Tue 03-Jan-17 19:10:20

My neighbour seems to be in your position. I'd be very grateful if she didn't let the dogs in. YANBU

HecateAntaia Tue 03-Jan-17 19:11:01

If you really feel you can't be honest with your best friend then yes, lie to her.
The outcome you want is no dog and you have to do it in a way you feel able to.

HecateAntaia Tue 03-Jan-17 19:14:24

Me too, ThisIs
dont bring your bloody dog again. He yaps like fuck and wrecks my bedding.

This is why i too have few friends 😁

Ilovecaindingle Tue 03-Jan-17 19:16:33

Pass the buck and say the neighbours complained.

CockacidalManiac Tue 03-Jan-17 19:17:58

Christ, YANBU. Fucking things.

echt Tue 03-Jan-17 19:19:54

I really don't get dog owners who ever think it's right to bring their dogs along to other people's houses.

I've had several do this, and I've had them separately terrify the cat, eat her food, shit on the carpet and run all over my veggie beds.

I'ma dog owner and it would never cross my mind to bring him with me.

Oh, YANBU.

Littlemissdemeanour Tue 03-Jan-17 19:21:10

Thanks, I just wanted to know if I wasn't being unreasonable!

The trouble with being blunt with my anger at her unreasonableness is that she doesn't see it! She lives in a flat (she owns it , so maybe the difference) with two flatmates and obv thinks this acceptable. I think they're just waiting until their leases are up!

I know she will take the dogs side - omg can't believe I'm typing this! Hence my need to justify my rationale with a white lie. God, that makes me sound pathetic!

I'm just so angry too at people who can't control their dogs !!!

echt Tue 03-Jan-17 19:25:46

If you say the neighbours have complained, she'll just say he'll be OK next time. You have to go for broke on this one and say the dog can't come round. If she drops your friendship for this then she wasn't a friend in the first place, so win win.

Littlemissdemeanour Tue 03-Jan-17 19:26:56

Well I guess I can say it's in the title deeds and the neighbour will take it to the factor if there's any repeat so it's an all out no as I can't take the risk?

Littlemissdemeanour Tue 03-Jan-17 19:29:58

I suppose I'm a little trepidous as how to best deal without the lie (even though I know I'm
Right). Was massively let down by a close friend last year through what I believe no fault of my own. I don't want the conflict of upset !

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