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To think that now I'm doing his washing

(158 Posts)
cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 16:44:44

And staying over six nights a week, I may actually have moved in?

Ilovecaindingle Tue 03-Jan-17 16:48:15

Think it through before you start the washing.
It will be followed by ironing
Then cooking
Then cleaning...

SparklyGlitterPants Tue 03-Jan-17 16:49:02

Sounds like you've moved in to me. Same happened with dh (then fiance). He came over for dinner on xmas day 2 years ago and stayed bar one or two nights every couple of weeks. He just eventually stopped going home at some stage.

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 16:50:41

Ha! Too late about the cooking and cleaning...

pipsqueak25 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:52:12

6 nights a week ? yes, sorry but why are you asking such an obvious question or is he saying you've not moved in ? in which case that is a confused from me.

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 16:52:30

I was contemplating offering for a friend to move in to help her out, and his reaction was 'where will you live'? I thought 'where the fuck do you think I live' was an appropriate answer

TimeToChangeFor2017 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:53:31

Where do you usually live? Whose idea was it that you did the cooking, cleaning and washing?

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 16:55:50

Clearly it not time to mention the division of labour over Christmas, then...

I have my own house but he wants me to go to his each night really. I only don't if either of us have our children or go out with friends.

witsender Tue 03-Jan-17 16:55:59

Why are you washing, cooking and cleaning in a home you don't live in? How did that come about?

TimeToChangeFor2017 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:56:45

But if you have your own place, then no you haven't moved in.

Why do it stealthily? Why not have a conversation?

AmeliaJack Tue 03-Jan-17 16:57:15

Why are you cleaning someone else's house? What did he do before you moved in?

Bluntness100 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:57:34

Why are you doing his washing cooking and cleaning? How did that even happen? What does he do for you?

FatGreen Tue 03-Jan-17 17:00:33

What everyone else said. Honestly, OP, why have you acceded to a scenario where you're the little woman who treks over to his place every night, cooks, cleans and does the laundry, and is available for sex, presumably, and your boyfriend is too lazy to nip over to yours?

Monr0e Tue 03-Jan-17 17:05:48

How often do you both have your children? Have they met? Do they get on? Would they all be staying there with you if you officially move in? Only you say you go when you don't have them which is 6 nights a week?

Plus, what everyone else said. Why the chuffin hell are you cooking, cleaning and washing in someone else's house unless you're being paid the going rate for doing so

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 17:06:07

It isn't as you make out - but then it never is!!

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 17:07:44

Yes we both have children, yes they have met but my eldest is too independent to want to move in with him, and I will always have to provide a home for my children, so actually moving in officially isn't currently an option

FatGreen Tue 03-Jan-17 17:10:06

So, OK, OP. You're unimpressed enough with the situation to post about it on an Internet forum. Explain why the scenario isn't as appallingly unequal as your description seems to suggest? Because it makes you sound like Mrs Mop, and I can't see what you get out of it.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 03-Jan-17 17:11:02

Stop doing his cooking, cleaning and washing! Why the actual fuck are you doing that anyway? Don't discuss the division of labour, just stop doing his work for him.

So what if he wants you to go to his house? Is he the boss of you?

Why, just why? I am absolutely boggling at the idea of someone going round to their boyfriend's house and doing his cleaning and washing for him. You have children, do you not have enough work of your own?

Actually, my oven needs cleaning, the beds need changing and I'd love a home cooked pie tonight. Could you pop round please and do it? I won't pay you but I will let you watch the TV afterwards and put a photo of us on FB. I expect you normally offer sexual services as part of the deal but I'll pass on that.

JennyHolzersGhost Tue 03-Jan-17 17:11:35

OP, unless you provide a clear explanation of the situation then you can't get huffy abour people not understanding your circumstances.

charlestonchaplin Tue 03-Jan-17 17:14:12

Unpaid housekeeper. Presumably with some sexual services thrown in.

pipsqueak25 Tue 03-Jan-17 17:17:15

don't understand any of this, but then i'm probably being a bit dim.

Monr0e Tue 03-Jan-17 17:17:16

I hope it is different to how it appears at first glance. Have you been together long? I would very quickly lose any respect for a boyfriend who wanted to invite me round every evening but was then happy to sit back and watch me "do" for him in his own home. Unless he was regularly returning the favour.

And no, if you don't live there I agree, a discussion on division of labour shouldn't be required, certainly not with you doing the lions share, it's his house! confused

Fair enough to offer to wash up if he's cooked for you but there's no way I'd do more than that

cinnamonswirler Tue 03-Jan-17 17:20:26

I'm not getting huffy - this started as lighthearted and has been coming down on me like a ton of bricks!

There has been no quantification of HOW much cooking and cleaning I do, it has been a presumption that it's masses and all of it - which is the case...

Formerpigwrestler9 Tue 03-Jan-17 17:22:38

you're his free home help, are you mad??
whats in this for you?

TheNaze73 Tue 03-Jan-17 17:22:40

Do you pay him rent for your 6 nights?

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