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To expect DH not to stare at attractive women in front of me?

(26 Posts)
Thomasina76 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:06:54

Whenever we are out and an attractive woman appears, DH cannot help but have a good look. Not just one look to check her out but several long looks. I find it really upsetting to the point I have to say something when he of course denies everything. I know men look but just find it really obvious and disrespectful. AIBU?

DJBaggySmalls Tue 03-Jan-17 16:09:27

Urggh, no, YANBU. That stinks.
They wont always appreciate it either.

00100001 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:09:29

Start gawking at attractive men and see what he does/says.

He should be respecting your feelings though, he shouldn't be dismissive.

Wellitwouldbenice Tue 03-Jan-17 16:09:56

Disrespectful and very bad manners.

Squirmy65ghyg Tue 03-Jan-17 16:10:18


Ex h did this and when I called him on it gas lighted me to fuck.

One of the many reasons he is ex.

What a prick.

Littleballerina Tue 03-Jan-17 16:11:10

I'd say very loudly, 'stop staring, it's disrespectful to bboth myself and the lady'.

takemetothehamptons Tue 03-Jan-17 16:12:09

Yanbu. Ex did this and tried turning it around to make me feel like I was going crazy and imagining it.

That's one of the reasons he's an ex.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 03-Jan-17 16:12:10

Slightly immature but start window shopping yourself and watch his reaction. .

Mari50 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:13:06

An ex of mine did this, he was a dick.

squoosh Tue 03-Jan-17 16:13:20


He sounds like a creep who has no regard for your feelings or the feelings of the women he's gawping at.

Thomasina76 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:13:30

SO infuriating as he denies everything but is has happened on numerous occasions and I watched very closely and I am sure I am not mistaken. Stares over for ages until she moved and then no longer looks. Completely blatant. Worse of all he gets really angry when I raise it. Just makes me doubt everything. My ex husband did then and went on to have an affair -convinced it is linked. I know some men do this but there are a lot of men who don't.

Clarkly Tue 03-Jan-17 16:13:37

As a vaguely hmm attractive woman men who do this when their wives are around are so cringingly embarrassing.

I tend to go completely overboard and start making best mates with the wife or girlfriend, it's awkward as anything.

TheCatsMother99 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:14:14

Definite start oogling other men or having loud conversations with friends about attractive men whilst within earshot of your DH, see how he likes it. grin

Nellyphants Tue 03-Jan-17 16:14:36

Same as Squirmy

Squirmy65ghyg Tue 03-Jan-17 16:14:39

He is an arrogant twat. What is the rest of your relationship like?

CaraAspen Tue 03-Jan-17 16:16:30

Don't women look too? Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are suddenly blind.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 03-Jan-17 16:17:34

"DH cannot help but have a good look."
Of course he can 'help' it. He is CHOOSING to stare. Poor women, how do you think they feel being letched at?

squoosh Tue 03-Jan-17 16:18:12

The OP isn't talking about 'looking' but about prolonged staring. There is a difference you know.

Thomasina76 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:19:05

Clarky, I would say I am reasonably attractive and find men do this and always find it amazing. My reaction is the same as yours but it always seems like such a betrayal. Just seems puerile to start doing the same. Think I would rather be single than get into that. Whole thing makes me feel sick TBH. Relationship has its ups and downs but I definitely have trust issue and this really isn't helping. He's such an idiot as I've pulled him up on it before and he still does it. Either he doesn't care or he doesn't realise he is doing it.

Thomasina76 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:20:49

By staring, I mean he takes at least 3-4 good long looks at her to the point where she (and I) have noticed he is looking.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 03-Jan-17 16:22:05

This happens when you are out. In that case, I would stand up and leave.

Millymollymanatee Tue 03-Jan-17 16:22:42

Every time he does it, tell him to stop. Tell him it's unacceptable both for you and the woman he's staring at. It's creepy! If he denies it, continues, or is rude to you, just get up and walk off. Stick to your guns.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 03-Jan-17 16:22:48

Possibly pausing on my way out to apologise to the woman he has made uncomfortable.

TheCatsMother99 Tue 03-Jan-17 16:27:23

I think the fact that the other women notice it means he really should stop as it's not just innocent looking buy could make others feel uncomfortable.

I agree with PP who said to say out loud, loudly to him to stop staring and try to shame him

TheTantrumCometh Tue 03-Jan-17 16:27:35

The way to raise it isn't "you're upsetting me etc" it's "Do you realise how creepy you look?"

Though TBH he should listen to the first one. What a prize dickhead

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