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To go nc with my dad's family after my nans funeral.

(7 Posts)
Peanutandphoenix Tue 03-Jan-17 09:25:17

Would I bu to go nc with my dad's side of the family after my nans funeral she died on Sunday after being in hospital for over a week my dad never even found out she was even in hospital until they thought she was going to die she got taken in at 2:30pm and my dad wasn't told until 9:30pm that she was in hospital if any of them see us out they don't acknowledge us they just walk straight past us and they have been like that since me and my sister where kids when my sister was a care assistant she was looking after a friend of my nans and found out that in my nans eyes my dad only had one daughter and that was me my sister stopped seeing my nan after that my nan stopped speaking to my mum for a year because she didn't like her so my sister never saw her even though they lived up the road from her it was only when I was born that they started speaking again because I reminded my nan of my of my grandad. My dad's sister accused my mum of having an affair when I was born because of the way I looked that was the one and only time my nan has stuck up for my mum. My dad's family are all horrors and all act like they are better than us we are not allowed to put up pictures of anyone who has died or say anything about it because my dad's family will be straight on to us to tell us to take it down my sister changed her profile picture to one of my nan and she was told by my aunty to take it down. When my nan died my dad wasn't told until after it had happened but we think they knew she was going to die and just didn't say anything to my dad. They know that I live in my own place but not one of them has asked for my address they all just send cards to my mum's for me even though they could very easily ask for the address and I've lived in 2 different flats. We never ever see any of them unless it's Christmas or someone's birthday. We just get treated like the social outcasts because we are too much like our mum. I only kept in contact with them because of my nan but now she's gone I see no real reason to keep in contact with people who only class us as family when it suits them. They can be really horrible when they want to be my poor grandad got killed in an accident and the lad who did it has spent his whole life being hounded by them they make sure that where ever he goes everyone knows that he murdered in their eyes my grandad and he never it was an accident and he paid for what he did but they still hound him for it. So would I bu to go nc with a load of people that I have the misfortune to be related to who probably wouldn't care if they never heard off me again because we are the black sheep of the family.

formerbabe Tue 03-Jan-17 09:28:46

Sorry, this is really confusing to read.

But you don't have to be in contact with anyone you don't want to be.

ohfourfoxache Tue 03-Jan-17 09:29:17

Delete/block/ignore. You don't have to justify going NC to them

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Tue 03-Jan-17 09:29:35

YANBU. They sound like utter shits.

HecateAntaia Tue 03-Jan-17 09:35:26

You don't have to be in contact with anyone you don't want to be.

FatGreen Tue 03-Jan-17 09:36:17

I'm sorry your grandmother died, OP. But your post is confusing. You say you want to cut contact with your father's side of the family, but lots of the behaviour you mention seems to come from other people, like your sister and grandmother...? Who are you actually talking about - your father's siblings? Why do you think the hospital communicated with them, rather than him, when his mother was dying, and why wouldn't they have told him? You say you loathe them, but then complain that they only send you birthday cards care of your mother (which seems very trivial!) and that you never see them, but then you say they 'won't allow' your side of the family to display photos of dead family members, which sounds as if there is contact...? Are you including your dad in the nc situation? Who is 'hounding' the man who was responsible for your grandfather's death?

Peanutandphoenix Tue 03-Jan-17 09:53:08

They are utter shits tbh you have to do everything their way otherwise they will complain and just shun you for the littlest of things. I'm talking about my dad's siblings and my cousins on my dad's side of the family I only kept the contact going because of my nan but now that she's died I see no real reason to keep in contact with a load of people who don't like me and would happily ignore me if they seen me out. We only have contact on Facebook because I never see them unless there's a family party or they just happen to be at my nans when we are there and then they are quick to leave when we turn up. The hospital communicated with them instead of my dad because my dad's siblings where at the hospital at the time and not one of them thought to even pick up the phone and tell my dad what was going on until they thought she was going to die she managed to last over week and my dad made sure he was there every day with her but he was waiting to go to the hospital when we got a phone call to say that she had died and knowing the way my dad's siblings work they probably would've been told that she was dying and just not bothered to tell my dad just like they didn'the bother to tell my dad when she got to the hospital. My nan and all of my dad's siblings hound the man who accidently killed my grandad it was only an accident but in their eyes it was murder. No I'm not including my dad in it. I won't be doing it until after nans funeral though because if I do it before they will probably exclude me from the funeral. I would love to send them all a group message telling them exactly what I think about all of them. Sorry if my original post made no sense trying to get it all down and my head is still all over the place after my nans passing.

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