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My 12 yr old needs a shave

(68 Posts)
plastique Mon 02-Jan-17 11:20:48

I asked OH to talk to and encourage our 12yo son to start shaving, as he has an obvious moustache, I see this as a father/son thing.
Son got a lovely shaving kit in his stocking at Christmas, so he has everything he needs.
OH says son just needs to leave it as long as!?? Is that lazy parenting or the norm?!?!

Sparklingbrook Mon 02-Jan-17 11:21:51

How does DS feel about the moustache? Maybe he likes it.

babynameconfusion Mon 02-Jan-17 11:24:02

It's really up to your son, his facial hair, his choice. As long as he is provided with the nescessary equipment should he wish to and knows he can ask you or your husband for help, I'd leave him to it tbh.

WorraLiberty Mon 02-Jan-17 11:26:46

Leave the poor kid alone

What he does with his own body hair, is his choice.

Ellisandra Mon 02-Jan-17 11:27:04

A father/son thing?

I've shaved more square metres of body hair than my husband grin


On a serious note: it's up to your son. Shaving kit for Xmas? Poor kid. That'd be like buying my daughter Tampax for her birthday. Personal care isn't a gift!

Ohdearducks Mon 02-Jan-17 11:27:36

Why does he 'need' to shave. It's up to him surely? Does he actually want to shave?

LightsLoveLaughter Mon 02-Jan-17 11:27:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plastique Mon 02-Jan-17 11:29:04

He had a giggle at the shaving set at Xmas. His siblings mention it a bit in a jokey way, as too with his voice breaking...
So it's never been mentioned seriously. I've asked OH for over a month now to have a chat about it

therootoftheroot Mon 02-Jan-17 11:30:16

consensus here seems to be that yes he should leave it as long as possible because at the moment the hair is fine. Once he starts shaving it will appear more coarse and more obvious and will then need shaving more often.

HollySykes Mon 02-Jan-17 11:30:23

I bought DS an electric shaver when he was this age on recommendation from a friend who said he found it easier at that age then a wet shave no training required. DS shaves about once a month, usually when one of his delightful sisters points out his tash is back and he's 14 now.

LadyPenelope68 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:30:53

Father/son thing? Barf! Hate those types of expressions.
I agree with your DH though. If son isn't bothered then just leave it. Once he starts shaving it will become thicker and more obvious, requiring doing more often. My youngest had a bit of a moustache at 12, he never shaved ur and now at 14 it's not really any different.

Ohdearducks Mon 02-Jan-17 11:31:33

Why can't you talk to him? What's the big deal? maybe he doesn't want to shave it.

LadyPenelope68 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:31:58

I don't think siblings joking about that or his voice breaking is acceptable either. Talk about making him feel self conscious.

Palomb Mon 02-Jan-17 11:32:08

Blimy do boys normally start needing to shave at 12? I had absolutely no idea it was that early although I don't know why that's shocks me, my 12 year old dd has a noticible upper lip hair but I thought boys started puberty later.

With dd I've just bought her some wax strips and said that I'll show her what to do if she wants me to so I'd just leave it. As a PP said his face his choice.

TheMortificadosDragon Mon 02-Jan-17 11:34:02

Is it part of the school dress/appearance code that boys can't have facial hair? (I don't see why there should be, tbh, so long as it's neat and clean). If so then maybe he should be encouraged to give it a go before the start of term so he doesn't go back in with cuts. But if not, then it's totally his choice if he wants to be a bit furry.

sirfredfredgeorge Mon 02-Jan-17 11:34:13

Well done by your DH for protecting your son, it's down to your son if she shaves, and it is useful to delay. If you're not able to have a Mother/Son conversation about this, just keep completely out of it as you don't seem to know enough to even have an opinion.

UpTownFuck Mon 02-Jan-17 11:34:54

Why can't he just leave it? And why can't you talk to him about it confused?

MyWhatICallNameChange Mon 02-Jan-17 11:37:39

Leave him be. He'll do it when he's ready. My oldest didn't till he was around 15, it never grew any thicker, he didn't end up looking like Dumbledore.

I'm letting my DTs decide as well, they're 12 and have very noticeable favoal hair. They're not interested at the moment, and that's fine.

plastique Mon 02-Jan-17 11:39:06

Wow didn't expect such a response ok..
Of course i can do the talk and show him but having had 3 daughters and now 2 boys there are somethings I want their dad to do, and this is one of them.

Wish I'd thought of the electric razor idea.

There are loads of shaving gift sets to be bought in shops. There are no tampax ones so there's the difference

He is very confident lad, even with sibling teasing about his tash and voice, he gives as good as he gets.

Birdsgottafly Mon 02-Jan-17 11:40:11

"Is it part of the school dress/appearance code that boys can't have facial hair?""

That would not be legal in the U.K.

OP why haven't one of you had a conversation about whether he wants to start shaving?

I don't like facial hair, but it is in fashion.

It shouldn't have been a Christmas present.

babynameconfusion Mon 02-Jan-17 11:40:13

Why do you care if he shaves or not?

RichardBucket Mon 02-Jan-17 11:41:53

He doesn't "need" to shave. You want him to shave.

If it bothers you so much, talk to him. It clearly doesn't bother his sensible father, so why are you expecting him to do it? Bizarre all round.

Birdsgottafly Mon 02-Jan-17 11:42:13

""There are loads of shaving gift sets to be bought in shops. There are no tampax ones so there's the difference ""

The shaving gift sets are for Adults to buy other Adults, not to buy, as a present for someone that you are responsible for.

NormaSmuff Mon 02-Jan-17 11:42:54

well unless you shave your moustach op i agree it is a Man thing.

whyohwhy000 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:43:42

That would not be legal in the U.K.

DS' school's dress code says:

"Facial hair is unacceptable except on religious grounds."

Presumably it's not illegal (otherwise one of 1600 students and their parents would have said something).

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