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Wedding Seating Arrangments

(64 Posts)
MrsMoore2803 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:50:33

Although my name on here is "Mrs" I am actually currently engaged not yet married. My parents divorced when I was 15 and they both have partners. I get on alright with my mums boyfriend but I really dislike my dads girlfriend. She's just so boring and has to know what is going on in any conversation etc. I know that she will want to expect to sit on the top table at my wedding and I don't want her there. Obviously my dad and mum will be sitting on the top table. What should I do about dads girlfriend? AIBU to make her sit with the other guests and have my mums boyfriend sit on the top table? Both of them have children as well so should how would you do this?

Thank you!!

Candlestickchick Sun 01-Jan-17 21:54:17

Sorry to say it but unless you want drama you either need to have both your mum's boyfriend and your dad's girlfriend on top table, or neither

Shylo Sun 01-Jan-17 21:56:03

I agree - both or neither on the top table, it would be a very pointed snub to include your mum's partner but not your dad's

RoundTheBend Sun 01-Jan-17 21:57:03

Agree with Candlestickchick.

KindergartenKop Sun 01-Jan-17 21:57:29

I would sit your dad and mum at opposite ends of the top table.
Bf and gf on other tables. It would be rude to put your mum's bf on the top table and your dad's gf elsewhere.

Alternatively, you and your dh could just sit alone to avoid all this hoohar.

Mistletoekids Sun 01-Jan-17 21:57:34

Also agree both of neither

She Doesn't need to be next to you!

TurnipCake Sun 01-Jan-17 21:59:52

If you want to avoid drama, then it's both or neither.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Sun 01-Jan-17 21:59:55

Yep, I'm with candle and shylo. It's the quickest way to a family fall out that will long outlive your wedding day.

If the worst you can say about her is that she's boring and a bit nosey then to be honest she doesn't sound that bad. Certainly not deserving of such a hugely upsetting and hurtful snub.

CharlieSierra Sun 01-Jan-17 21:59:56

Don't have a top table. It's a traditional seating format which doesn't suit an untraditional family arrangement.

TataEs Sun 01-Jan-17 22:01:12

i'd say neither.

my parents separated in my late teens and i didn't even invite my parents partners to my wedding.... so she wants to count herself lucky she's invited at all imo.

seven201 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:02:05

Good lord to not allow it for one partner and not the other. You may not like her but unless she doesn't sound horrible, just dull. You'd be really mean! I think have both partners with their kids and maybe if you really want to have a quiet word with your mum saying you would have had her partner at the top but couldn't because you didn't want your dad's partner. Actually just writing that I feel like I'm 12 - don't do that.

QuandryQueen Sun 01-Jan-17 22:02:44

Have each of your parents host a table with their partners, and have on the top table your best man and maid of honor.

Eevee77 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:02:59

You can't have your mums partner but not your dads partner at the top table without causing unnecessary drama and hurt. Just do both or not at all. It would be incredibly rude, especially considering the only reason you have to dislike her is that she is "boring" hmm

MouseLove Sun 01-Jan-17 22:04:21

Put mum and dads partners on tables with their children and other guests, maybe the two tables closest the top table. This is the nicest way to do it. Then seat your mum and dad at opposite ends. Explain to the boyfriend of your mum you'd love him to be on the top table, but there's limited seats so you've sat him on the closest to you. Hope he doesn't mind. I would think he would be ok with that. Don't explain anything else.

EveOnline2016 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:04:35

I would go with quandary queen suggestion

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 01-Jan-17 22:05:20

quandry idea about each of your parents having their own table is an excellent solution

MyWineTime Sun 01-Jan-17 22:06:21

Both or neither, but I wouldn't split the couples up. I think it would be horrible to have your mum and dad with you but their partners on other tables.

DailyFail1 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:06:24

I didn't have anyone on the top table just dh and I, and instead had family tables. Top table arrangements, in my opinion, get too political when you try to opt for a traditional format.

chocolateworshipper Sun 01-Jan-17 22:06:31

It's both or neither I'm afraid. I suspect Mum's bf would be fine about it if you explained it to him. How about giving him a special job to compensate? Would your OH make him an usher for example?

Enkopkaffetak Sun 01-Jan-17 22:07:34

I think both or neither too

We had my stepdad and then stepmum sat together at the top table. Worked fine however both were reasonable people.

MrsMoore2803 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:08:21

Okay so I think I have decided to have her on the top table after all as I really want my dad to be there for speeches etc. I was honestly debating not inviting her. She's not only boring but needs all of my dads attention on her. It's my big day and although this may make me seem like some spoilt brat I don't want to have to fight her all day for my dads attention.

lorelairoryemily Sun 01-Jan-17 22:19:24

I'd say neither!

ClarissaDarling Sun 01-Jan-17 22:21:47

Neither but have your parents! Will your dad sit separately from her?

PaulDacresConscience Sun 01-Jan-17 22:28:34

YABU, it would be very rude to seat her separately if your Mum's partner would be at the top table. I suspect your Dad would also be upset, which is not the feeling that you want on your wedding day.

Do you have another family member who could have a discreet word with your Dad about his GF behaviour? Alternatively, is there someone who could run interference on the day to distract her and be a bit of a 'human shield' for you, so that you can have some 1-2-1 time with your Dad on the day?

chicaguapa Sun 01-Jan-17 22:30:14

We had the same dilemma and just had me and DH plus bridesmaids on our top table. Then had a shuffle round for the speeches. It worked fine and it was a good visual signal that the speeches were going to be starting.

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