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To feel like this

(5 Posts)
BabyHaribo Sun 01-Jan-17 19:24:02

I've got 2 beautiful children.

We can't have anymore - hadn't definitely decided that we would have any, but now we can't which I thought I was fine with.

I've two good friends who both have two children the same ages as mine. Both have just announced they are pregnant with DC3.

I feel so upset. There won't be a babyharibo3. They are comparing pregnancy complaints plans for birth etc and I feel so upset it's not me, even though we hadn't even decided if we wanted DC3.

Someone tell me to get over it and be happy for them please

3littlebadgers Sun 01-Jan-17 19:28:43

You are allowed to be happy for them and sad for yourself at the same time. Your feelings are valid and all part of accepting that this won't be your path. Please don't be hard on yourself flowers

TeamAlphaFemale Sun 01-Jan-17 20:23:12

I have one child and I can't have anymore. I hasn't decided if my family was complete before the decision was taken from me.

If a close friend got pregnant with their second I'd be upset. I'd also be happy for them but I would resent that I couldn't have a second pregnancy. YANBU. But yes, you do need to get over it and be happy for them. Easier said than done and completely understandable if you struggle to do so. But don't let it ruin your friendships or drag you down.

TeamAlphaFemale Sun 01-Jan-17 20:28:23

Just wanted to add - you need to grieve for the baby you can't have. If you don't then you'll find it hard maintaining a relationship with these women. It's sad you can't join these women in their pregnancies and you are entitled to feel that way about it

BluePancakes Sun 01-Jan-17 22:28:29


I have 2 children, and had decided that I definitely didn't want any more. Then I discovered I have the BRCA1 gene mutation and the month I saw my consultant about having hysterectomy and BSO, one friend gave birth and another found out she was pregnant. This shook me, and as I said, I'd already decided I didn't want any more, so you are not being unreasonable for feeling like that. flowers

I did get passed it, and have since had my hysterectomy, though my situation was different to yours

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