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FFS Mil has just announced she is coming for Christmas again next year!

(139 Posts)
barkinginessex Sun 01-Jan-17 12:33:54

I'm at the end of my tether today. Mil has just invited herself here again for Christmas next year and I want to cry.
She lives an hour away and stayed with us for all of Christmas and new year, she leaves soon and I can't wait to get my house back.
She's loud, pushy and stuck in her ways and I don't think I can cope with another Christmas like this one. It's been really boring and she's messy so the house is a tip. She's not lifted a finger since she got here. She disapproves of me cleaning and tidying and says I should chill out!
DP has said nothing but would I be unreasonable to say she's not coming again for Christmas and if she does then I won't be here to deal with any of it?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 01-Jan-17 12:35:23

"Sorry, MIL, we won't be hosting Christmas next year. We're not sure what are plans are yet but we'll definitely see you at some point".

IfartInYourGeneralDirection Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:02

^^ this.
Just say no

Cosmicglitterpug Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:42

lying has it spot on.

chickenowner Sun 01-Jan-17 12:37:04

Don't let it happen!

Footinmouthasusual Sun 01-Jan-17 12:37:35

This ^ just no sorry no.

confusedandemployed Sun 01-Jan-17 12:38:06

No one invites themselves to my house. I'd be putting a stop to that right now. It'll only get harder as time goes by.

ivykaty44 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:38:15

Oh gosh mil we may not even be here as it's such a long time away we can't make those sort of plans now..

YouTheCat Sun 01-Jan-17 12:38:30

Have you any family you'd rather invite? Sometimes having an alternate year arrangement works well for these situations, makes it seem fairer etc.

She has a whole year to sort out something else.

Isadora2007 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:39:13

Just fudge it for now-
"We are not sure what our plans will be next Xmas by can discuss it later on in the year"

Then get DH on side and make sure he lets her know what is happening.

LagunaBubbles Sun 01-Jan-17 12:39:15

What's wrong with saying the word No?

HardcoreLadyType Sun 01-Jan-17 12:40:27

"It's far too early to make plans for next Christmas, now, MIL'sname!"

barkinginessex Sun 01-Jan-17 12:42:08

It must sound silly to get worked up about something that's so far away but she will mention it everytime we see her from now until Christmas so as soon as she goes I'm going to tell DP to make it clear we aren't hosting next year. I feel bad as she isn't a bad person and I get on okay with her most of the time but it's been hard work over Christmas and I haven't enjoyed any of it as I feel like I've spent 2 weeks cleaning up and making drinks for everyone.

barkinginessex Sun 01-Jan-17 12:43:07

This year I meant not next year sorry!

PotteringAlong Sun 01-Jan-17 12:44:48

Just book to go away on holiday somewhere instead!

chickenowner Sun 01-Jan-17 12:45:06

I think it's fine to not host next year if you have this year. smile

Astro55 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:45:42

Tell your DH it's not happening!
Why are DHs so blind to the amount of effort and time it takes to entertain a guest??

Seriously sort yourself out for next year DH and his mother can do what they like - leave him to it -

YouTheCat Sun 01-Jan-17 12:49:11

2 weeks is too long to host anyone. If she only lives an hour away why couldn't she have come on Christmas Eve and left on Boxing Day?

Wolpertinger Sun 01-Jan-17 12:49:36

'Sorry but I don't think we'll be doing it the same way next year'

2 weeks! She only lives an hour away shock

mickeysminnie Sun 01-Jan-17 12:50:46

She only lives an hour away but has stayed with you for 2 weeks!! confused

barkinginessex Sun 01-Jan-17 12:58:10

My parents came Christmas eve and left Boxing Day and they live 2 hours away. I felt sad that I barely spent anytime with them as I was rushing about trying to sort everything out and look after everyone. She's very overbearing and critical if things aren't done her way, so sometimes it's easier just to go along with her. I agree that men don't really get how much work goes into hosting, I've cleaned the house so many times and it's still a mess, her stuff is everywhere. But I don't think she has a clue how hard it's been to have her here for so long. I'm getting wound up now, will talk to DP as soon as she leaves.

Yoarchie Sun 01-Jan-17 12:59:31


Astro55 Sun 01-Jan-17 13:00:31

If you want something doing properly - so it yourself!!!At home

diddl Sun 01-Jan-17 13:02:23

She lives an hour away?

Christ you've been had!

Lunch or evening meal on Boxing day at that distance is plenty.

What has her son done towards hosting?

Did he actually want her there for so long or didn't he dare say no?

MotherFuckingChainsaw Sun 01-Jan-17 13:03:07

Fuck that

Go to Butlins.

If your DH is so keen to have her he can host her himself.

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