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Because of comments like this, is why people are terrified of SS.

(163 Posts)
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:24:32

We was all at a friends house for a few drinks last night, before heading to a house party. The friends (I'll refer too her as A) house we was at she has 3 children - 7 yo twins and a 3 yo. Another friend (B) went into the fridge and gasped at how if social services was to enter her house they'd take the children of her due to lack of things in the fridge. I went to have a look and yes it was a bit emptyish, but has just been christmas, family of 5 all of work/school. She had two bottles of juice, sandwich meat, cheese spread, yoghurts and some chocolates from selection boxes.

A, laughed and said don't be silly.
B told her she wasn't joking because she has a friend who knows a lady (hmm) , and her fridge looked like this and SS swooped in and took the children away until she restocked her fridge.

Now A is a born worrier, she's nearly in tears by this point and says she hasn't got any money until Friday to stock the fridge back up to its full capacity as she didn't expect the family to go through so much so quickly.

B told her the other lady used that "excuse" and SS still removed the children.

I told B too bugger off trying to scare her and B insisted it was most definitley a real story. Luckily after the alcohol started flowing all seemed forgotten about until I got a text this morning of A, along the lines of
" would you be able too borrow me £30 until Friday? Do you think £30 will be enough to fill my fridge?"

im trying to calm A down by saying this is allowed of bullshit what B said, but am I right or is B?

AIBU to think because of people like B, families who do genuinley need help and guidance, don't admit it because of these kind of horror stories?

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:25:52

A load* not allowed blush

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 01-Jan-17 12:26:49

B is an unpleasant tit.

BalloonSlayer Sun 01-Jan-17 12:28:09

B needs a massive kick up the arse. What a thing to say!

(If B genuinely believes the nonsense they are saying, the children were probably removed for a number of horrendous reasons, only one of which was having no food in the house, and the parent in question has focused on that)

Redlocks28 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:29:00

B is a very rude, unpleasant liar.

hoopdeloop Sun 01-Jan-17 12:30:16

I highly doubt social services would remove the children for 1 emptyish fridge. There would probably need to be consistent evidence that the children were never fed.

peaceloveandbiscuits Sun 01-Jan-17 12:30:30

If the children are malnourished and not being fed because the fridge is empty, then yes, your friend has a point. If not, then as you say, it's a load of bollocks. Who are these social workers who have time to "swoop in" and inspect people's fridges?
Very distasteful of your friend considering the number of children who will have had terrible christmases in abusive households, who deserve SS intervention but don't because of cuts.

Pollyanna9 Sun 01-Jan-17 12:30:57

A lack of food could indeed be seen as a problem by SS - but not on its own!!


The example I know (I worked in a children's services dept at one time) is where the child was found by the open fridge door licking the scant remains off of an empty tub of margarine and there was no other food in the fridge or the cupboards.

If this is the case I'd better pack my bags now because by the end of the week our fridge is running very low - but the cupboards are choc full of other foods and I still retain the ability to cook a rull range of meals.

You are right, these types of sweeping statements do nobody any good at all.

Masketti Sun 01-Jan-17 12:31:21

Why would a SW be in her house to check her fridge??

My fridge is full today. Full of booze and chocolates. What would social services say shock

Such a shame A is a worrier and B is a shit stirrer. If you can afford to lend A £30 and believe you will get it back I would do it to stop her being miserable for a week. Then tear B off a strip for being so insensitive.

ABowlOfTomatoSoup Sun 01-Jan-17 12:31:29

A needs a hug. Social services have never looked in my fridge once when I was under their scrutiny because of allegations made by my child's dad.

B needs a slap and to be removed from the friendship group. Also needs her judgy pants pulled up and over her head in an atomic wedgie....

TaliZorahVasNormandy Sun 01-Jan-17 12:33:00

B is complete twat, a cow and quite frankly, deserved a slap for that shit.

0dfod Sun 01-Jan-17 12:33:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Footinmouthasusual Sun 01-Jan-17 12:33:38

B would no longer be a friend as that was nasty and bullying behaviour.

SS and police can look in the fridge to determine that children of a certain age alone at home have access to food.

My friends crazy ex mil called the police when she left dds 13/15 alone. Police officer checked the fridge and chatted to the girls and left quite satisfied.

SS don't have time to randomly check parents fridges do they? grin

Please reassure A and drop B. Hideous behaviour.

coolaschmoola Sun 01-Jan-17 12:33:55

I have about that in my fridge... I'm not even vaguely concerned. I have stuff in the cupboards and freezer to feed my family.

CatsRule Sun 01-Jan-17 12:34:03

I doubt B is right! My fridge is often quite empty but I have pre cooked and frozen meals in the freezer and cupboards full of things to make meals with. As long as A can feed her kids it really doesn't matter is the fridge appears empty. B is a dick!

Luttrell Sun 01-Jan-17 12:34:37

I think these kinds of myths, people like B, documentaries about 'stolen children' are very damaging. I won't seek medical aid for severe depression because I'm frightened of SS involvement. I wish I could get over the fear, but another thread or article comes along to remind me of the risks.

TheFairyCaravan Sun 01-Jan-17 12:34:44

B is a bitch and completely wrong.

Could you imagine how many kids would be in care if SW's did remove children due to an emptyish fridge?

Footinmouthasusual Sun 01-Jan-17 12:35:09

And to add how bloody rude to look in someone else's fridge in the first place.

tabulahrasa Sun 01-Jan-17 12:35:39

There are things like, empty fridges, or undecorated bedrooms that people will swear blind are the reason children are removed from parents.

But they're not the reason, they're small parts of a much bigger picture, including the fact that SS is involved at all.

They don't arrive to do spot checks on random people's fridges, they may however add it into part of a case where they're already involved as yet another thing that's concerning as part of the overall issue.

But parents rarely admit that SS involvement for things like neglect was warranted, they tend to focus on the last thing mentioned as spurious instead.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 01-Jan-17 12:35:42

B possibly believes what her friend told her. I've known a few people have their children taken by ss and they always say it's for reasons such as no bedding on their beds, a couple of missed days at school etc, they never want to admit the real reasons.

I have had many a malicious SS call about me (so many that they stopped coming over and just called me after a few calls) and they have never even asked to look in my fridge.

Your friend A has nothing to worry about at all. Friend B is seriously gullible and needs to wind her neck in and stop upsetting people.

AQuietMind Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:24

Poor A. B is a complete knob!

Freshprincess Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:39

Do SS go round randomaly inspecting people's fridges?

confusedandemployed Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:46

Eh? That's not even an empty fridge!

B is an utter birch and should be pulled up on it.

aprilanne Sun 01-Jan-17 12:36:58

what a shame .if your friend really has no food in her cupboards or fridge then thats a worry but if you have plenty tins you can survive on that .you dont need fridge food christ how did our grannys survive .if you can give her money then fine it will probably make her feel better .i think the ss have a lot more to worry about than if the kids are not eating al a carte this week .your other friends a idiot

giggly Sun 01-Jan-17 12:37:30

As pp states checking that there is appropriate food for dc is one of the checks along with others that are conducted by not only sw but health visitors,community addiction nurses etc. BUT only when a possible risk has been previously identified.
So no sweeping inhmm

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