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To have spent the whole of 2017 peed off?

(45 Posts)
smellysocksandtea Sun 01-Jan-17 10:30:30

So yesterday was a disaster and I'm still really annoyed about it, AIBU?

-Had a "party" with DP's family. Had to hear racist, rude and class-ist talk about both myself and partner (I'm black, he is white/Middle Eastern and it's a wonder we both have jobs, let alone jobs in the "city" angry )

-DP family are not the biggest family animals - I already know this. The basically shoved us out the house after the countdown.

-Fish. I hate most fish. They know this. I have repeated this a million times. I get served fish. They moan and say I'm rude for not eating it all. (also gossiped about feeding into the stereotype that all black people hate fish and don't know good food.)

-DP is being an ungrateful shit. I bought him a few presents and he told me to return all of said presents as they weren't what he wanted. Am I the only one who thinks that this is not done.

ChapstickLegends Sun 01-Jan-17 10:34:02

I hadn't heard that (stupid) stereotype but for heaven's sake, they are being ridiculously offensive. Just because you're Black doesn't mean you should have to eat fish just to prove a point FGS! shock

They sound horrible. Can you avoid them as much as possible in future?

fruitbats Sun 01-Jan-17 10:36:37

Black people don't eat fish? Since when?
Leave the lot of them. They sound like too much hardwork.

DonaldStott Sun 01-Jan-17 10:41:37

I am also unaware of the black people don't like fish thing, but that aside, they all sound like arseholes. So yanbu.

HOHOHOvariesBeforeBrovaries Sun 01-Jan-17 10:42:43

If you already know what his family are like, why did you spend NYE with them?

Sounds like he's been ungrateful about the presents, YANBU to be pissed off. I just wouldn't bother getting presents for him next time if he's going to be like that (and if he wants them returned, he can do it himself).

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 01-Jan-17 10:44:43

Don't go near them again and tell your DP why. Life's too short.

I've never heard those stereotypes before. Are his family mostly white?

Birdsgottafly Sun 01-Jan-17 10:46:34

Two separate issues.

Firstly, stop mixing with DPs family.

Secondly, do you want your DP to keep stuff that he doesn't want, or take them to the charity shop, rather than them being returned?

I think people should be able to be honest about their gifts, partly because I wouldn't want to waste my time and money getting someone something that they didn't want.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 01-Jan-17 10:47:40

Life is too short for this sort of shit.

Happy new year! I'm mixed race and my exes family used to treat me as something of a novel creature.

It's 2017. Enjoy. Let them be bitter, you carry on being you.

MrsExpo Sun 01-Jan-17 10:47:52

Have I understood that correctly? Your DP's family were being racist about him as well as about you OP?

They sound like awful people and your DP sounds like an ungrateful git. I think You should start the new year with a good clean out in the relationship area of your life and find someone who respects you and who has a decent family. You clearly deserve better.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 01-Jan-17 10:49:48

Black people don't eat fish? OK then confused. Maybe somebody needs to inform most of Gambia that they have their diet all wrong.....

Anyway, ignorant incorrect stereotypes aside - what do you get out of socialising with these people? Do you continue to put up with insult upon insult because they are related to DP? Please don't. If it were me I wouldn't be visiting them again & I would be asking DP to explain why!

You seriously do not have to put up with that!

Out of interest, do DP's family have jobs? It seems strange that his own family find him "lucky" to have a job in the "city" confused.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 01-Jan-17 10:52:03

And as for the gifts issue - no, you don't return them.

DP is being an ungrateful sod. If he "must" return anything he can damn well do it himself.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 01-Jan-17 10:52:59

-DP is being an ungrateful shit. I bought him a few presents and he told me to return all of said presents as they weren't what he wanted. Am I the only one who thinks that this is not done.

It might not be "done", but I have sympathy for this viewpoint.

Of course, it all depends on how he said it. If he was an arse, all bets are off.

Marmalade85 Sun 01-Jan-17 10:56:09

Are his family white since you mention they were being racist to both of you?

tibbawyrots Sun 01-Jan-17 11:01:27

DP is being an ungrateful shit. I bought him a few presents and he told me to return all of said presents as they weren't what he wanted. Am I the only one who thinks that this is not done

No, you're right. Return the presents, get a refund and then buy yourself something that you want. He's missed the boat for other presents, as Christmas is over for another year.

Sorry to hear that you've In-law problems. sad

EweAreHere Sun 01-Jan-17 11:04:59

Why did you stay? Seriously. Why did you stay?

If your DP's family was being offensive, racist, bigoted and rude to you and about you, why did you not ask him to take you home?

What do you see in him that he thinks it's ok for you to be treated like this by his family?

smellysocksandtea Sun 01-Jan-17 11:07:32

DPs family is indeed white. Very upper middle class, with high paying jobs. DPs dad was a visa grabbing shit, so use that to bully MIL and further their all "coloureds" are bad agenda.

We usually spend NYE with my family but for various reasons (holidas, wanting to spent with new partner etc) we ending up at his.

I'm also pissed off with DP because he guessed original present, said he didn't want it and now wants what he rejected! He is always told not to rock the boat so has to listen to their tirade of rudeness.

And there is a whole list of things I don't like because I am black apparently.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 01-Jan-17 11:11:28

Has your DP been listening to his family's drivel all his life?

They sound like a bunch of cunts.


MagicChicken Sun 01-Jan-17 11:12:38

Black people don't like fish? confused

I have never heard that before in my life.

2017watchoutherewecome Sun 01-Jan-17 11:12:40

Black people don't eat fish? I don't eat fish at all, I hate the stuff but last time I looked I wasn't black more of a green color if I'm being honest

Don't engage with the racist fools.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 01-Jan-17 11:16:50

So DP has been treated as a second class citizen by his own family for his entire life?! shock

It sounds as though you both need to distance yourselves from this bunch of cunts. Family or no family!

BitchQueen90 Sun 01-Jan-17 11:17:55

Black people don't eat fish? Never heard that one before. My FWB is Nigerian and bloody loves fish. And isn't ackee and saltfish a Jamaican dish?

Fuck them. They sound awful. Also I'd be a bit annoyed if my DP let his family be so rude to me and not say anything to them tbh.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 01-Jan-17 11:19:34

Life is too short for this shit.

Unless you have children with this bloke, or you really believe there's no one better for you out there (really? do you really??) then dump his sorry arse and write the whole lot off.

You don't want to spend the rest of your life either avoiding or defending yourself against this shower of shit, especially as you'll clearly get no support from your "partner".

The presents issues just sounds like a whiny spoilt brat issue - again, why waste your life with a manchild? Get rid.

Marmalade85 Sun 01-Jan-17 11:20:09

I think you and your DP need to reduce contact with his family. What will happen if you have children together? Will they be subjected to racism also?

Farmmummy Sun 01-Jan-17 11:25:15

Hmmm not sure about the stereotype but I'm white (although from Northern Ireland if that makes a difference) but I hate fish close friend is black and loves fish. Both of us however try to be polite in other people's homes. As for "D"P think he would be getting a kick up the arse

user1482447499 Sun 01-Jan-17 11:28:29

God i'd go completely the other way and wind them up.

Tell them you only want fried chicken from now on.

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