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To think that there must have been an incident between dd and this other toddler?

(5 Posts)
EffingVirginMedia Sun 01-Jan-17 01:15:27

For background: Dd is 2 and is good to play with other children. As she has older siblings, she is used to squabbling and is well able to hold her own and doesn't get easily frightened or scared of other kids.

Sil, her dp and dnephew live with mil. Dnephew is the same age as dd, but is twice her size. He is a lovely child but his parents tend to let him do what he wants and don't chastise him when he misbehaves (this drives mil mad as it is her house but she feels that it would be interfering to intervene). Dh takes dd to visit and has remarked on occasion that dnephew plays roughly but that dd just avoids him when at mils. Mil also occasionally babysits dd at her house.

Last month when on the way to mils, dd started crying saying 'I don't want to play with <dnephew> any more'. She was inconsolable and it took ages to calm her down sad Since then, the same thing has happened every few days both randomly out of nowhere and also when she knows she's going to mils. Another day, she shouted 'NO <dnephew> NO! Where's <sils name>?', as if imitating mil.

Dh took her to visit this evening and she's just woken from her sleep crying and saying the same thing now. Dh says nothing happened to his knowledge but I think that there must have been something that kicked this all off. Dh thinks that dd is probably just repeating something because she knows she'll get a reaction. I want to ask mil but dh is reluctant.

ChasedByBees Sun 01-Jan-17 01:29:25

You could ask. There's nothing to cause offence and it might answer questions / put your mind at rest.

user1477282676 Sun 01-Jan-17 01:29:45

Well it could be a build up of him playing too roughly or it could be that she's overheard you and DH or MIL discussing how he's allowed to get away with being naughty.

Toddlers are very, very impressionable and if she thinks he's "bad" then she will display fear. I would not let her be there alone though.

Witchend Sun 01-Jan-17 01:33:44

Yes it sounds like an incident, but no it doesn't have to be a nasty act.

Dd2 was terrified of another child for ages after they'd accidently jumped off the stairs next to her and made her jump. I was there, the child didn't touch her, and it was entirely an accident.
She behaved very similarly.

DailyFail1 Sun 01-Jan-17 02:02:14

My neice is very, very shrewd. Always has been. Verbal at 2, and was able to understand simple conversations. She must have overheard mum and sis talking about me because she starting calling me 'naughty' and telling me stop doing perfectly normal things (a tap to the wrist, a finger out, like we might scold her ). Final straw was when her mum told her off for taking her pants off & she said I told her too (I of course hadn't). Sis finally confessed that yes she and mum were talking about me in front of neice- the idiots were calling me names for absolutely no reason and neice picked up on it.

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