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AIBU?

To think it's time we sorted out the mess of titles for spouses of "Sirs" and "Dames"?

30 replies

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:07

Women in heterosexual marriages with "Sirs" get a title just for being married to them.

But husbands of Sirs, spouses of "Danes" and unmarried partners of both get nothing.

Shouldn't we just do away with bolt-on titles for the wives of knighted men?

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Report

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:08

"Dames" NOT "Danes" 😄

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MLGs · 30/12/2016 23:09

Probably not priority no 1 at the moment.

sooperdooper · 30/12/2016 23:10

Meh I can't imagine it's high on anyone's list of priorities

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:12

I think it's quite high on David Furnish's TBF 😄

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HardcoreLadyType · 30/12/2016 23:12

I know a Dame who is married to a woman. What would her wife be called?

Then there was the hoo-ha about David Furnish wanting a title. (I guess he could be called Lady David, if he wanted.)

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:13

It's an odd anachronistic hang-over though, isn't it?

If they want us to believe that honours are given for merit, it's a bum note.

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HardcoreLadyType · 30/12/2016 23:13

Actually, I've realised it would be Lady John, not Lady David.

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 30/12/2016 23:14

Doing away with titles completely would solve the problem.

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:15

Better to do it the other way and not give partners, wives or husbands courtesy titles at all.

I'm sure if married heterosexual men want to accept the honours, they'll cope with the "different rank" issue like gay and unmarried couples manage to.

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Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:16

Or that thefairy But you'll have a fight on your hands.

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Dapplegrey1 · 30/12/2016 23:17

Thefairy - how would you do away with titles? Would knighthoods stop being given?

Boundaries · 30/12/2016 23:25

[[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XUTlE90j7n8 ]]

Manumission · 30/12/2016 23:35

Drastic boundaries

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thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 30/12/2016 23:41

Thefairy - how would you do away with titles? Would knighthoods stop being given?

By just not giving them. It's easy to honour someone without giving them grand titles and bestowing unnecessary rights. One across-the-board award, which carries no title, just an acknowledgement of dedicated work to a worthwhile cause, is all anyone needs. No need to be "elevated" above anyone else.

ADishBestEatenCold · 30/12/2016 23:53

I completely agree with thefairyfeller.

On a related note, I have a fairly near neighbour who was awarded in this way. I bump into him now and again, sometimes socially and very occasionally in the course of business, and he can get really rather annoyed at my failure to now address him as Sir Neighbour.

caroldecker · 31/12/2016 00:05

But would you not have different levels of award? 1-5 perhaps? Then, if the award was worth anything, could the person not use it? ie:

Jane Jones - Level 4 for Science
John Smith - Level 3 for Sport

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 31/12/2016 00:20

But would you not have different levels of award?

I wouldn't. Why would you want them? I wouldn't give awards for sport, just for service to others. People are too greedy in wanting to be seen as better than others, and the example ADish just gave is a very good reason not to have ranked awards.

Sure, you could mention your "citizenship" award on your CV, but don't expect others to defer to you or call you a different title because of it. Jock Tamson wouldn't like it.

Manumission · 31/12/2016 00:22

Did Guide badges come in different levels or have I dreamt that? You could base it on that system of sew on badges

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Manumission · 31/12/2016 00:23

not ,

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PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 31/12/2016 00:33

There are levels - MBE, OBE, CBE, KBE (Member, Officer, Commander, Knight of the Order of the British Empire). The KBE is the only one with a title though.

Manumission · 31/12/2016 00:36

But are the badges sew on?

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Threesoundslikealot · 31/12/2016 00:41

You also don't get to be Lady (Mrs) X if you haven't changed your name on marriage. You're not Lady Hermione Nonsense, just Lady Nonsense, so if you're still Ms Hermione Whatsadoodle, you're not Lady Whatsadoodle. That's my understanding anyway. (My husband might possibly get a KBE in the future and I wrestle with the far off time when I might sacrifice principle for potential airline upgrades.)

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OutToGetYou · 31/12/2016 00:51

My sister is a Lady by dint of her husband being a Lord and no airline upgrades have been forthcoming!

caroldecker · 31/12/2016 00:53

KBE gets a title before the name, the rest are after the name.

Threesoundslikealot · 31/12/2016 00:53

Dammit. Although at least I can keep my surname happily.

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