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About lending a present??

(141 Posts)
lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 22:51:08

A friend of mine bought us a travel cot for our ds, gave it to us when he was a few weeks old then 2 weeks later before we'd even gotten to use it text me to say she had to borrow it to use for her husbands nephews child who was coming to stay. Aibu to be really fucked off and not want it back??

Lunar1 Fri 30-Dec-16 22:52:19

I'd just say it was in use right now, cheeky sods!

QueenMortificado Fri 30-Dec-16 22:54:16

Bit confused, did she borrow it before she gave it to you? Or just that she wants to borrow it and you haven't even used it yet?

If you don't want her to borrow it just say you've already promised it to your sister or someone for that weekend

Can you safely swap travel cots in the way you shouldn't with normal cot mattresses? If so, then I don't think I'd care really

Patriciathestripper1 Fri 30-Dec-16 22:55:20

Wtf? I'd have made an exscuse and said have left it up at sis/ brother. Aunt house 60 miles away for when you visit at wkend so sorry you haven't got it.

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 22:56:46

She gave it to us, then a few weeks later she text to say she had to borrow it. I lied and told her we were using it and she replied "well you'll have to find me one somewhere then!")

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 22:57:46

We hadn't even taken it out of the box!! Like does she think because she bought it she can take it back when she feels like it?!!

ChasedByBees Fri 30-Dec-16 22:58:21

What did you text back? It wouldn't have been your problem to solve at all.

BrightRedSpinner Fri 30-Dec-16 22:58:35

Texting to say she 'had to borrow it'?? If it was phrased that way, i.e. Telling rather than asking how fucking rude.
But if she asked politely I would not have a problem with it. Would you not use a travel cot in a hotel? They are only for occasional use after all.

BrightRedSpinner Fri 30-Dec-16 22:59:19

X post. What a twat.

elvis86 Fri 30-Dec-16 22:59:23

Going against the grain here, but I'm not sure I see the problem?

Friend gifts you a travel cot - useful item but one that you'll presumably only need occasionally? Soon after she could use a travel cot for a couple of nights and asks if she can borrow yours? Why would that offend you so much? Just seems mean of you not to want to help her out?

Unless there's much more of a backstory? I'd understand if you'd lent it to her and it didn't look like you were getting it back - but is she really a massive twat for asking??confused

steff13 Fri 30-Dec-16 22:59:26

Ha! I'd have said, "wanna bet?" Perhaps the child's parents should make his sleeping arrangements. When my mom was a baby, she slept in a drawer. Suggest that. smile

WorraLiberty Fri 30-Dec-16 22:59:41

How long did she want to borrow it for?

Did she actually say, "I need to borrow it for my great-nephew or 'I'll need to borrow it for my great-nephew"?

Personally, if a friend of mine asked politely and it was only for a week (perhaps an over Christmas visit), I'd happily oblige.

elvis86 Fri 30-Dec-16 23:00:37

She gave it to us, then a few weeks later she text to say she had to borrow it. I lied and told her we were using it and she replied "well you'll have to find me one somewhere then!")

Ok - with that additional info she sounds like a twat.grin

WorraLiberty Fri 30-Dec-16 23:01:10

Gah I fucked that up.

Did she say "Can I please borrow it for my great-nephew" or I'll need to?

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 30-Dec-16 23:02:24

I lied and told her we were using it and she replied "well you'll have to find me one somewhere then!")

I don't think anything about the 2nd text was polite.

More an air of entitlement.

steff13 Fri 30-Dec-16 23:02:42

I agree, how she asked does make a difference.

RandomMcRandomer Fri 30-Dec-16 23:03:10

So basically she wants a travel cot but doesn't want to store it so she gives it to you as a "gift" which she expects you to let her borrow whenever she likes? If she needed it she should have kept it and gifted something else.

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 23:04:32

She said " I need to borrow the travel cot for Dh's nephews son, feel free to say no if you're using it" I replied I'm so sorry but we are actually using it for ds (kind of like a play pen so he could sprawl out and we have a small dog so perfectly reasonable as that's what she intended it for when she bought it) anyway her reply to that was " well then you'll have to get me one from somewhere I need it this weekend!shock

steff13 Fri 30-Dec-16 23:04:43

Why not just gift it to the nephew and then he could bring it for the visit?

honeylulu Fri 30-Dec-16 23:05:38

Some people feel they have some sort of permanent right over something if they've paid for it. They are wrong of course, once given as a gift, sub modo, no further right subsists.
My MIL was a horror for doing this. She gave us a canteen of posh cutlery as a wedding present. Shortly after she asked to borrow it for a dinner party as it was nicer than hers, then kept "forgetting" to return it. We reclaimed it when she was on holiday and we went round to feed her cats. She asked to "borrow" it again as soon as she got back! Lots of other examples, too numerous to recount here.
It's a phenomenon known as Indian Giving, I believe

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 23:06:58

Exactly! It was how she asked more than the fact that she asked! Dh said we really had no option but to give it to herconfused

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 23:07:32

Haha steff exactly

lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 23:09:02

Honeylulu OMG!!! That is shocking, I'd be too mortified to do that, I can't actually believe people like that exist

Champagneformyrealfriends Fri 30-Dec-16 23:09:44

"I'm sorry friend, I don't know anybody else who has one! Sorry."


lorelairoryemily Fri 30-Dec-16 23:10:00

Random that's exactly how I feel about it. I feel like it's in my house but it's not actually mine

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