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To ask depressed DB to agree to help?

(6 Posts)
WhyHasAllTheRumGone Fri 30-Dec-16 21:17:05

DM is moving house. Currently db lives with her. I am driving 2 hours to spend the weekend moving her house contents. It's my birthday weekend and DB (uncharacteristically) has asked what I would like for a birthday present.
WIBU to say, I would like you to help me move all DM and your stuff? Genuine question. His depression seems deep but I have no personal experience and sometimesi just want to shake him.

Squirmy65ghyg Fri 30-Dec-16 21:18:25

Say it in a kind way : just your company when we do all the moving together eg.

WhyHasAllTheRumGone Fri 30-Dec-16 21:21:38

I could but sometimes he will sleep for 36-48 hours on the sofa in front of everyone. He definitely doesn't want want to move sad
It's so sad and at the same time so madly infuriating.

WhyHasAllTheRumGone Sat 31-Dec-16 08:57:38

Hopeful bump

GreatFuckability Sat 31-Dec-16 09:00:07

You can ask, but if he isn't up to it then he isn't. Putting pressure on someone who has depression often sends them reeling. I know first hand how hard it is, but you have to remember he's not trying to upset you.

MatildaTheCat Sat 31-Dec-16 09:27:32

It's possible you will find his help more frustrating than never hoping for it. For example you ask him to clean the bathroom and look five hours later having done a zillion other jobs and it's still not done or just the surface.

Is there anyone else at all you can ask? Otherwise maybe buy in some help for a day or two to make it doable.

It's nice of you to consider your db this way. No doubt he hates the way he's feeling and behaving but can't help it.

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