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Anger after therapy

(8 Posts)
TweedleDee3TweedleDum Fri 30-Dec-16 19:38:07

I have had CBT on and off for the past 5 years, due to issues caused by being raised by a narcissistic mother. I recently finished my most recent stint.

I have been with my DH for 7 years.

I have been particularly stressed recently, having gone NC with my mother at the start of this year. As a result, I have had a very short fuse at times, with DH taking the brunt.

When I spoke with him this evening about me being angry a lot, and quickly losing my temper at him, I asked how long he thinks I have been this way and he said 3-5 years, since the therapy started. He is right. Therapy brought up a lot of anger for me.

I am shocked. It has been such a reality check. I can't believe I have put my DH through this. He is a wonderful man and deserves to be treated with respect.

What do I do? I am at a loss. I don't want to be this way anymore.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Fri 30-Dec-16 19:41:21

The therapy has unleashed (a rightful) anger in you but unfortunately you're directing it at the wrong person. It's not uncommon.

You've done the right thing by acknowledging it. i hope you've told him that he is wonderful and deserving of respect. Perhaps you will be slightly more mindful of your actions in future.

I'd bring this up with your therapist as well, the anger is another thing that you need to work through but is entirely understandable given the circumstances.

TweedleDee3TweedleDum Fri 30-Dec-16 19:44:35

Thank you, troll. I tell him everyday how wonderful and deserving of respect he is. I truly do try to make sure he knows how loved he is.

I am not currently seeing a therapist, but will approach my GP about further counselling to deal with the anger.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Fri 30-Dec-16 20:00:48

You can't change the past but if he's stuck through all the anger I'd expect he's an awfully supportive sort.

Maybe book a wee night away somewhere nice that he'd like to visit as a surprise treat as it's nice to be able to give back.

And yesyes to speaking to GP. Your self awareness in this respect is hugely helpful and hopefully this will make things a lot easier for you to digest and process.

Ginkypig Fri 30-Dec-16 20:05:35

My advice is that you might want to talk to a professional about this. Also have a good chat with your dh so he can understand what's going.

its a very common side effect of this type of therapy but untill you have help learning coping strategies to help you deal with the emotions and anger that talking therapy brings up then of course you can't control properly how and who on that gets projected!

Your doing very well seeing that there is an issue and bring able to relate it to the work you've been doing.

TweedleDee3TweedleDum Fri 30-Dec-16 20:06:07

He absolutely is. I like the idea of giving something back. I appreciate it won't change what has happened, but it's a step in the right direction.

I am going to speak to GP when they are next open.

TweedleDee3TweedleDum Fri 30-Dec-16 20:07:10

Thank you*, ginky.*

Ginkypig Sat 31-Dec-16 11:56:37

No problem tweedle

Don't forget just because your having some unwanted reactions to the work doesn't mean your not doing great!

The fact your recognising it means the cbt is helping because you are able now to differentiate between what you feel now and that there is a reason for it and past stuff biting you on the bum.

Good luck!, flowers

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