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To want access to my money

(76 Posts)
SaveYourTearsForYourPillow Fri 30-Dec-16 13:32:15

Myself and Dp are trying to sort out finances. He wants to open a new account for all out bills and rent to come out of each month. That is fine however he wants the account in his name.

He wants us both to put in a surplus amount in each month to ensure all bills are covered. AIBU to say no to this if I do not have access to the account?

RipMacWinkle Fri 30-Dec-16 13:32:58

YANBU

Absolutely no way

EveOnline2016 Fri 30-Dec-16 13:33:41

Do you have a a history of being rubbish with money.

TitaniasCloset Fri 30-Dec-16 13:33:44

No!!! It can't just be in his name, get a joint account ffs! Yanbu.

treaclesoda Fri 30-Dec-16 13:33:49

I would agree with you.

What is his reason for wanting it in his name?

Oldbutstillgotit Fri 30-Dec-16 13:33:55

Why does he want it in his name only ?

YellowDinosaur Fri 30-Dec-16 13:33:56

No fucking way should you agree to this. Why can't it be in both of your names?

Spam88 Fri 30-Dec-16 13:34:20

Um, nope?

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan if it's in both of your names though. What reason does he have for only wanting it in his name?

Supermagicsmile Fri 30-Dec-16 13:34:22

Agree fully. It's either in your name
Too or you're not paying into it!

LimpidPools Fri 30-Dec-16 13:34:26

No, you are not being unreasonable. Why would that not be a joint account?

Unless there's some huge back story about you spending all the bill money on fripperies.

What's his reasoning?

Ilovecaindingle Fri 30-Dec-16 13:34:56

Def bloody not!!!

Grumpyoldblonde Fri 30-Dec-16 13:35:02

Nope, nope and NO way

Fartleks Fri 30-Dec-16 13:35:11

Why does he want that?

Feelingworriednow Fri 30-Dec-16 13:35:37

I would want to know what benefit he sees in only having one name on the account. There isn't one from a financial point of view so it must be a personal benefit.
No way would I agree to this. If you can't see what's going on he could be using the surplus for himself.

e1y1 Fri 30-Dec-16 13:35:40

No YANBU - and DO NOT be putting money in to an account that you have no control over whatsoever.

FannyCradock Fri 30-Dec-16 13:35:57

No way.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow Fri 30-Dec-16 13:36:11

I'm not the greatest with money however I am not in debt, and have always paid my rent and bills in time.

snapcrap Fri 30-Dec-16 13:36:23

No way

expatinscotland Fri 30-Dec-16 13:36:56

Haahaa! I'll bet he does. Erm, no.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Fri 30-Dec-16 13:38:12

I would not normally pay into an account i had no access to.

I would, however, if i was living with my boyfriend in a house in his name and the money i paid was my fixed contribution. Then I'd see it as my rent all bills included. And it would be a fixed sum not me handing over my 'surplus' into an account i cant access.

But. If we were living as a family, in a home where both are names were on the lease, and the bills in both our names then i would want a joint account and be happy to put surplus into that account.

He cant expect you to hand over extra cash above and beyond your fair contribution so he can hold it in an account only he can access. That's weird of him.

Oldbutstillgotit Fri 30-Dec-16 13:38:21

Even if you are not great with money it is unreasonable to expect you to pay money into an account that you have no access to. YANBU to say no

hooliodancer Fri 30-Dec-16 13:38:53

No, never.

The best thing we ever did years ago was open a joint account to cover bills. We both had direct debits in to it of equal amounts. We also opened a joint credit card for all food and house purchases, with a direct debit from the joint current account to pay it monthly. No arguments about money ever again.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow Fri 30-Dec-16 13:40:20

Thanks everyone showing dp this thread as he thinks I'm being over dramatic.

pinkblink Fri 30-Dec-16 13:40:30

Is he quite controlling in general?

newmumwithquestions Fri 30-Dec-16 13:41:26

Is there more to this OP? You say 'sort out finances' - have you built up debts?

If not then it sounds very controlling - open the account in joint names or not at all.
Even if you have built up debts but are trying to sort it out I'd say open it in joint names.

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