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His inhaler.his responsibility.

(123 Posts)
Whathappendexactly Fri 30-Dec-16 13:20:50

Going to sound a unsympathetic old cow I know but this feels like the last straw.

DH cannot be trusted with anything responsible or to look after himself. He's like a child who messes up and expects everyone to run around after him . The list is endless but includes things like driving him to work because he's over the limit the next morning or stopping for his favorite food or beer on my way home from work ( 2 hour commute) because he's hungry.

Yesterday , after a very busy Christmas for me looking after my children and his family we set off for Cornwall. I got through the slog of the festivities because I knew I had this to look forward to.

So we have arrived but his inhaler has run out. In fact in ran out a few weeks ago and he ended up in a mildly distressed way that required a trip to an out of hours pharmacy to get a new one.

So now we have spent our first hour locating a walk in centre and he has to sit and wait ( I'm not surprised and unlike him I would never expect to be seen instantly).

I've judt had to listen to him on the phone explaining to a receptionist that as he's forgotten his inhaler he'd like a new one please right now. He's had the nerve to complain to me thst he's got to see a doctor so has to sit and wait! Honestly he can't even see he's created his own problem and dragged me along with it.

We are no where near our cottage so it's not practical to go and find it ( nothrough even checked in yet).

His mother and sister still treat him like a child. It's no wonder as his wife I left to all but wipe his bum.

So AIBU to not be sympathetic in the slightest and be mad as he'll thst the start of our break is judt like the rest of my life. Running after him.

MsJamieFraser Fri 30-Dec-16 13:23:47

Stop doing thing for him, and tell the man child to stop moaning and be more organised!

If your enabling him, he won't do thing s for himself. Refuse to take him to work, refuse to get him his favourite food, he can buy it himself!

OneWithTheForce Fri 30-Dec-16 13:24:53

His mother and sister still treat him like a child.

So do you.

* It's no wonder as his wife I left to all but wipe his bum.*

No, you choose to.

Make a different choice.

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Fri 30-Dec-16 13:25:49

For a start, stop enabling him. Let him deal with the consequences of his own behaviour. Tell him you don't want to hear him complaing about this when it's his own fault he's in this situation.

Don't be his mum.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Fri 30-Dec-16 13:26:37

Why did you go with him?

He's a grown man. He can sort out his own inhaler.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 30-Dec-16 13:26:50

He sounds like a silly old sod still happy to be pampered and you are doing the same, stopping for his favourite food and drink?

Make 2017 the year you stop treating him like another child.

everymummy Fri 30-Dec-16 13:27:26

When I run out of inhaler I can often get a new one from a chemist by paying and giving the name of my doctor. Try small one, not Boots.

Also if you ever go to Spain, buy loads in the chemists there for a couple of Euros each.

Does he use his preventer inhaler? (and I'm guessing no, since organisation doesn't seem his strong suit). If I use mine I never even need the blue one.

Not sure what to say about his childlike behaviour as I would have buried him by now.

NavyandWhite Fri 30-Dec-16 13:28:28

I re order DH's sprays for him when they run out. Rather do that than him die of an asthma attack.

He does stuff for me though.

lalalalyra Fri 30-Dec-16 13:32:02

I'd be livid. Not only is he ruining the start to your holiday, he is misusing the NHS (costs a shit load more to see the walk in centre than it would just to request a simple repeat prescription) and he's risking his health by not having an inhaler for several weeks.

Sounds like he needs a sharp reminder that 3 people a day die of asthma.

Probably also needs to learn that (I bet) more than 3 men a day get left by their wives for being incompetant manchildren and he's in danger of joining them.

WellErrr Fri 30-Dec-16 13:32:02

YANBU to be frustrated, but why on earth are you there with him? You're enabling this behaviour.

Would he need to accompany you to your dr appointment if you forgot your medicine?

Whathappendexactly Fri 30-Dec-16 13:34:58

Apologies for typos. Send in a rather ranty manner. I will also add he does not have a serious asthma condition , only mildly wheezy otherwise I'd be a lot more inclined to be more sympathetic. I'm also in Cornwall to help out my Aunt who I have promised 3 or 4 hours a day too to help with jobs and care as she is very disabled. I needed the other time here to be as stress free as possible. DH has already stated he's not coming with me to my Aunts to help with this care but to be fair some it it will be personal so it's not appropriate anyway. I'm just knackered that's all so needed to vent.

RortyCrankle Fri 30-Dec-16 13:37:14

Don't you find this sort of behaviour a big turn off? I would. There's not much point complaining since you've obviously enabled him to continue to behave like a child through your relationship and after having had children. Maybe it's time to stop? It's a perfect time of year for a New Year's resolution.

Good luck!

Soubriquet Fri 30-Dec-16 13:37:56

I re-order and collect my dh's inhalers too

I'm a SAHM and he works during all the normal working hours so we never know if he has time to go and collect or not

The only thing I ask, is that he tells me when they are getting low but sometimes he forgets that too and I have to ask for an emergency script.

It's that or hospital

OneWithTheForce Fri 30-Dec-16 13:39:33

Soubriquet couldn't your DH order them himself and you just collect them?

Whathappendexactly Fri 30-Dec-16 13:40:38

I'm with him because we are in the car together on our way to the cottage. I get what you are all saying and believe me I've tried to stop helping him.... the last time he needed a lift to work I refused and he got a taxi. But when I don't do things for him, like getting dinner or food after a two hour commute end up feeling like a cow or judt expecting a bad atmosphere.

And if I don't cook or put food under his nose he'll drink and drink until he can't stand up. I'm in a very awkward situation because he won't look after himself.

OneWithTheForce Fri 30-Dec-16 13:42:45

And if I don't cook or put food under his nose he'll drink and drink until he can't stand up

So he's an alcoholic and you're enabling him.

PhilODox Fri 30-Dec-16 13:43:26

OP works FT with a 2 hour commute! She said in her OP.

Why are you sitting in the walk-in centre with him? Don't waste your holiday too.

Ilovecaindingle Fri 30-Dec-16 13:43:55

Maybe 2017 will be the year he becomes a fully functional adult.

Passmethecrisps Fri 30-Dec-16 13:44:30

So what do you get out of it exactly?

He seems extremely hard work from your description.

CauliflowerSqueeze Fri 30-Dec-16 13:45:24

That last paragraph is a bit of a worry.

Get used to saying "oh what a bummer! What are you going to do?" and looking sympathetic. Leave it for him to sort out his crap. Don't get involved with suggestions or advice or thinking up ways to get round things. Just relax, practise the above phrase and hopefully he will grow up.

Whathappendexactly Fri 30-Dec-16 13:46:28

The asthma has resurfaced after years of not bothering him so he's still getting to grips with the prescription and yes I've said he needs to go and see about getting a brown one too as his chest is getting worse. I work 4 days a week and commute 4 hours for 3 of those. I look after my disabled Dad one day a week. I a tully don't mind these responsibilities. The family I care for love me back in so many ways. My husband is taking the piss.

Before I met him everyone said he was a mess ( and back living with his mum and dad despite owing a home) but I saw the good in him. In judt not sure I have any more time to give him .

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 30-Dec-16 13:46:55

Sorry OP but the more you write the more of a twat he sounds, he gets bladdered unless you put food in front of him?, what a cock.

Soubriquet Fri 30-Dec-16 13:47:26

That latest update is a worry actually

He is very child like isn't he and refuses to take responsibility for himself

I might do my dh's prescription but he cooks and cleans like a normal adult man

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 30-Dec-16 13:48:24

Did you think you could rescue him and make him a better person?

That's a genuine question, not arsey in any way.

bloodyteenagers Fri 30-Dec-16 13:50:31

Maybe 2017 is the year you wake up and walk away.
You really going to do this for the rest of your life?
2 hour commute and have to run around to make little boy dinner? No selfish man should be cooking for you.
Dump the selfish alcoholic child's arse and find yourself a man

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