I know I am and I need slapping with a wet fish!!

[smEGGnogg]

It's my birthday. Husband usually rubbish at gifts, this Christmas actually redeemed himself with things I genuinely wanted. Brill.

Today, he gives me a watch. It's a pretty watch (not something I would choose for me, it's a brand name one, but it's nice) Thing is, he already bought me a watch only 2 years ago when we got married. A gorgeous one. Which I don't wear because I spend every day up to my elbows in baby shit and washing up. This new watch isn't a cheap one, I know this because he asked me to check our online banking this morning to see if his wages went in and I saw it on the statement. So no, I wouldn't consider it an everyday watch and my other one a special occasion watch. I can think of a hundred things that I'd prefer for the money he's spent.

He gave me the story behind him buying this watch, like he was really pleased with himself. He went for a pair of earrings, which I would love because I don't have any earrings at all. Even a plain pair of studs would have really appreciated. The jewellery store is an independent, they specialise in beautiful one off type items, have 2 shops in our town and while the lady was calling through to the other shop about earrings, he saw this watch and just got it on a spur of the moment. Then he said, "you don't have a watch, do you?" and I told him that yes I do, from our wedding but I don't wear it often for the above reasons. I'd obviously stopped him in his tracks because he got that panicked rabbit in headlights look and said "Well now you've got 2 haven't you?!"

Yes I have. 2 watches I never wear.

I know I'm being an arse about it

And to top it all off, dd, who is 8, decided a proper teenage meltdown would be the best gift she could give me and my NC narc mother has been repeatedly driving past our house all morning.

Would I be so unreasonable to just go back to bed?

[Boundaries]

Aw. Bless him. He's lacking of memory but full of love for you.

Take it back. Tell him his first thought - earrings - was spot on and ask him to swap.

[TheWitTank]

Thank DH (who obviously forgot about his wedding gift!) and return the watch.
Ingest birthday cake, tea/coffee and return to bed with book/film and shut curtains.
Happy birthday from me!

[Guiltypleasures001]

Might I add a packet of choccy bics with said coffee and cake 🍾🍪🎂

[Trifleorbust]

I would really gently ask him to swap the watch for earrings. Say you love it but you don't think you will get as much use from it as it deserves.

[Bluntness100]

Can you not just wear the watch? You can take it off to do washing up if it's not waterproof. The baby shit on the other hand shouldn't be a major issue. Many mums wear watches, it's not particularly outlandish or impractical. 🙄

[smEGGnogg]

Thank you all.

I was going to say I don't feel like I can ask him to return it because he takes things like this very personally and he'll be so hurt but actually trifle that's not a bad idea suggesting that it won't be used enough. He's already asked me to put it on and I've said no

[category12]

Oh bless him. And bless you too. Stressful day. Go on back to bed and have a good cry, and then pull yourself together.

Tomorrow maybe go exchange it for the earrings together.

[smEGGnogg]

Blunt that's your opinion. I find them really impractical because I'm forever having to take them off and leaving them in places only for them be knocked onto the floor and such.

[DJBaggySmalls]

Here you go OP

eelslap.com

[TheWitTank]

I'm with you on the watches thing. I hate wearing one -they get in the way, catch on things, I end up smashing mine against fences etc at the yard. Totally impractical. Mine is sitting in a drawer unworn for over 5 years!

[smEGGnogg]

Thank you DJ

[SquiffyAtBreakfastOnEggnog]

My DH bought me a gorgeous gold necklace for our first Christmas after we got married. But it really wasn't my sort of thing, it was more like a choker, very dressy, the sort of thing to wear with a strapless ballgown! I enthused over it, kept admiring it laying in its fancy display box.

Eventually he twigged. "it's not really your sort of thing, is it?"

We went back to shop after Christmas, and swapped it for a much plainer heavy gold chain.
Which I only take off to clean, it gets worn all the time.
He said he was so pleased that we changed it

[DJBaggySmalls]

Two watches is one for each wrist, mmkay?
Now you just need two earrings to go with them.

[RandomMess]

"DH I love the sentiment & the watch but I'd like something I can wear all the time that you've chosen for me, please can we swap it for ear-rings?"

[EweAreHere]

Screw him taking it 'personally', OP.

Tell him gently you'd like to back to the shop with him and exchange it for the earrings he was looking at for you. Because you know that ultimately he wants you to have something you'll be able to wear all the time and enjoy.

Him not wanting this for you is something you should take personally.

[BakeOffBiscuits]

It's YOUR birthday and your gift. Don't worry too much about him "taking it personally"
Say "it was so lovley of you to buy the watch but I really will be able to wear the earrings every single day and I really would love to do that. Can we go and exchange the watch?"

[chocolateworshipper]

I would make a big thing of "you should always go with your first instinct - you have such good first instincts" and "I would love it so much if you could exchange these for a pair of earrings that you think I would like, and then I can wear both earrings AND a watch that you have chosen for me - whereas I obviously can't wear both watches."

(ignore little lie that you probably won't wear the watch)

[TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN]

I'd be upset that the gift he bought for me, for our wedding, meant so little to him that he'd forgotten about it, he has no leg to stand on to 'take it personally'.

Definitely tell him that his first instinct was right and you'd much rather have some earnings, go with him though or you'll likely end up with some pretty dangly things that the baby will love to pull at and are really only suitable for an evening out.

Do whatever makes you happy for the rest of the day 🍹🍫🍿

[dollydaydream114]

It sounds like he's done his best but just made the wrong decision. He wasn't being thoughtless; he genuinely forgot you already had a watch and thought you'd like one.

Tell him that it was a lovely thought but his first idea of earrings was even lovelier and that as you don't want him to waste his money, maybe you could exchange the watch for something you'll wear all the time. It's perfectly possible to have that conversation in a sensitive way.

Even if he's a little bit disappointed and/or feels guilty I'm sure he'd prefer you to have something you really want. Perhaps when you go to exchange them you could even have a nice lunch together afterwards or something?

A few years ago I bought my DP a shirt that was more expensive than the clothes I'd usually buy him and certainly more expensive than anything he'd ever buy for himself. I was really sure he'd like it, but I think he probably wore it a total of twice in about five years and looking back I can tell he just didn't really like it much. I know he was just trying not to hurt my feelings by saying nothing, but I would honestly far rather he'd said he wasn't too sure about it and exchanged it for something else.

[timelytess]

Keep the watch and buy yourself some ear-rings. He loves you, he's impulsive. Keep him, too.

[smEGGnogg]

I'm going to tell him. You're right. I know he's not being thoughtless, just impulsive as timely says. He's definitely a panic buyer! And yes I do intend to keep him

[RandomMcRandomer]

Happy birthday. I hope you can get it exchanged and he realises his first instincts are good next time!