To think I've not achieved very much

[cherrycrumblecustard]

and wish I was 10/15 years younger. Sorry having a new year mope. But I do feel like I've done nothing. Like I am wasting time / space, aimless I suppose! Can anyone identify?

[HerOtherHalf]

No point in looking back, you can't change the past. So, looking forward, what are you going to achieve and how?

[user1477282676]

How old are you?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I'm 35. I think it's going to be hard to achieve anything much Her

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

What do you want to achieve? Pick one thing and tell us.

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I don't think I do now, as I have sort of lost confidence in that I could do anything. Sounds ridiculous I know!

[MollyHuaCha]

What might you have achieved if you hadn't have lost confidence?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I can identify op

I know exactly what you mean. I have absolutely zero self confidence I hate it when anyone tries to say something nice to or about me as I know I'm always on the verge if doing something stupid that's gonna kill all that faith they seem to have in me.

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

Ooh me too. 36 and except my DC I've achieved fuck all with my life.

Can't drive, can't swim, work minimum wage job, never been abroad, fail at everything I try or I'm too scared to even try in the first place.

I feel like I'm heading towards an early death (both my parents died younger) having done nothing.

I'm not usually too depressive about things but I feel like I'm just watching important people (i.e. everyone else) living their lives and I'm the scum following and serving.

Shit isn't it op?

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

UntilTheCowsComeHome - when you say you failed to drive and failed to swim, do you mean you had the lessons and still can't do it?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Mine did too, Until. My obituary will read 'did nothing!' at this rate. Marriage is in trouble, I've no "proper" jon and everything I would like to do is pretty much impossible due to childcare.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Cherry - what is it you want to do that's being made impossible by childcare?

[topcat2014]

Write something down - as they do say that what you write is what happens.

Don't put too many things on the list, as that is overwhelming.

Concentrate on uplifting things - not self criticisms like weight loss etc.

Start with something that you don't normally do, but is not impossible - maybe plan to go to the theatre or something?

Then move on to bigger things - volunteer for something, or help out at PTA etc.

Then really big stuff, like get a new job

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Oh, not necessarily anything specific. But any thoughts of a job or even career. Hobbies including voluntary work, travel.

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Beyond lessons at school I've never tried to learn to swim, I'm too scared.
With driving I had lessons at 18 but ran out of money and couldn't afford any more until I was 24 when I tried again but ran out of money and confidence before I got anywhere.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

I think that's part of the problem to be honest. That your not specific about what you want. If you don't know what you want, then you're not able to work towards its.

topcat is right about writing things down and planning.

[AllTheUserNamesAreTaken]

What sort of things would you like to do Cherry? Maybe if it's education, learning a language, learning to paint or something along those lines.......you could do them at home if childcare is a problem. If you want to do a sport or something, could you go out to do this whilst your DP looks after the children.

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I don't think I really do. It's true I could do with being more specific. I just feel like I've been in a trance.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

"I just feel like I've been in a trance."

But you're aware of that fact now at least. Google "personal development plan" and download one. It's a first step towards achieving any goals you might have, no matter how small or big. For example, if you want to represent GB in gymnastics in the next Olympics your first step is to enrol for gymnastics lessons,

It just needs to be broken down. Don't let indecision cripple you, we can all overthink things!

[Timeforabiscuit]

In my last job we each got handed a postcard and were invited to write down three things we wanted to do in the upcoming year, didnt have to be work related but should be specfic and achievable in a year and be a mix of practical and fun things.

I was feeling pretty low, and thought it was waste of time - it was all I could do to keep my head going under with nursery run , full time job and partner working away.

But I put down;

1. get the damp sorted
   
2. plant a flower bed
   
3. read the reluctant fundamentalist (i used to read, but it fell off due to time)
   
   Duly handed in my postcard and it was posted back to me a month later, by which time the damp was sorted and did the rest in under 3 months.
   It really gave me a confidence boost and helped me move forward a bit, its easy to get bogged down but I'll bet your a hell of a lot more dynamic than you give yourself credit for.

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I know it sounds stupid but lately I feel pretty old. I think I miss feeling like I used to. Can't explain it!

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Here you go this looks like a good one, I might even do one for myself lol!

www.wordmstemplates.com/personal-development-plan-template-free.html

[MiddleClassProblem]

At 60 my uncle got a part in a west end musical. Ever since he has done bits for various tv dramas, plays on and off and pantos.

It's never too late.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

"Timeforabiscuit" that's a really inspiring post. I might put "plant a vegetable garden" in mine, but i'll have to have a 6 month plan, not 3 months lol

[Timeforabiscuit]

There is a certain cliff like feeling when you realise all the possibilities and potential thats there in your twenties suddenly evaporates.

The thing is, its just an illusion, a societal construct, that possibility was just confidence and positivity - you can have that at any age! Except now you can have it tempered with wisdom and experience.

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I dunno if it's that Time

I used to love going to new places but now they all look the same and I don't. I used to like doing lots of stuff that now feels like way too much effort!