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Is DD BU re. NYE plans?

(26 Posts)
OnAStick Thu 29-Dec-16 23:45:06

DS18 has been asked to a friend'a for a two-night sleepover. He was originally meant to be working on one of the nights so would only go for one and told friend so.

He has since left that job so has decided to join us and his sisters for a weekend away instead. Friend is now upset that DS isn't joining for the second night, even though he didn't say he was going in the first place.

I have told him it's his choice, but DS BU in saying that he won't go for both now he is 'free'?

OnAStick Thu 29-Dec-16 23:45:26

Title should read DS obviously!

cookiefiend Thu 29-Dec-16 23:47:15

No- he is not being unreasonable. He hasn't pulled pit or cancelled. He had an extra free day and is prioritising his family which is lovely.

PickAChew Thu 29-Dec-16 23:48:30

He's NBU. It's not like he's going back on his original arrangement.

Veterinari Thu 29-Dec-16 23:51:22

He I said going back on his original arrangement if he had told friend he was staying for one night and is now not going st all as is away with family. He should stick to the original night away he planned with friend.

YouTheCat Thu 29-Dec-16 23:51:33

Your ds sounds lovely. And I like your name. grin

BewtySkoolDropowt Fri 30-Dec-16 07:42:45

It's be so planning on going for the night he originally said he would do? If so hinbu.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 30-Dec-16 07:51:14

He's not being unreasonable if he's still going for the one night.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN Fri 30-Dec-16 07:51:53

He told his friend he could only make one night because he had to work the other one, so it's understandable his friend is upset that DS isn't going at all now, when he could actually go for both.

The friend was good enough when he only had one night off, now he has both off he's chosen to go elsewhere.

It's not very nice of him.

Gizlotsmum Fri 30-Dec-16 07:53:31

So he said he would go for one night and now is going for none? Slightly unreasonable. Makes his friends look like a second choice... how long ago did he tell the friend?

Megatherium Fri 30-Dec-16 08:10:27

It doesn't read to me as if he is cancelling both nights? OP says what friend is upset about is that her DS won't join him for the second night.

dementedpixie Fri 30-Dec-16 08:13:38

Sounds to me like he is cancelling the trip altogether if he is now going away for the weekend. Has he cancelled the second night he was supposed to be staying? If so, then yes, he is unreasonable

Ciutadella Fri 30-Dec-16 08:18:01

Is he still going for the first night (I think it was the first?) If so, he INBU. If he's now not going for either night, he IBU - once you've accepted, I don't think you should pull out, even for family!

Goingtobeawesome Fri 30-Dec-16 08:18:12

He told friend he could only go for one. Did friend assume that meant he would be going for one?.

pklme Fri 30-Dec-16 08:19:36

Unreasonable to cancel the night he has agreed to, really, but only a bit. Depends who else the friend has lined up. He may have wanted to change his own plans if your DS isn't going at all...

bowchikkawowwow Fri 30-Dec-16 08:23:08

Assuming his Friend is the same age, he needs to act it! What 18 year old gets annoyed about a sleepover?!

Ciutadella Fri 30-Dec-16 08:26:08

Well, it's NYE plans, so maybe a bit more significant.

'My bf was due to come for a night at the weekend but has pulled out at the last minute because she prefers to go away with family'. That would be at least an arguable AIBU!

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 30-Dec-16 08:31:17

Im assuming ds is still going on the first night. Not unreasonable at all. His friend is playing top trumps.

PotteringAlong Fri 30-Dec-16 08:34:47

He's not cancelling anything! He's just sticking to the original arrangement!

Friend is rung unreasonable, DS perfectly fine here.

dementedpixie Fri 30-Dec-16 08:43:37

OP needs to confirm if he is still going for one night before I can say if her ds is unreasonable

HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine Fri 30-Dec-16 09:26:25

I would also like to know if your son has pulled out of the whole thing. To be honest, I agree with others though, I'd be slightly hurt if I was the friend. The original reason was he couldn't come due to work- more than fair. Now it's 'free', your son has made 'other plans', seems a bit flakey to me. Yes, I know he never committed to night two, but since the time became free why not do them both? I guess I don't understand a teen who would only do 'half a thing' with a friend to go hang out with mum. Ultimately, this is between your son and his friend to sort.

dollydaydream114 Fri 30-Dec-16 10:01:11

If your son is now not going to see his friend at all, and his friend is now stuck with nothing else to do on NYE as a result, then yes, he's being unreasonable. He's left a mate in the lurch.

But if your son was just one of a number of people who was going to be sleeping over at the friend's house, and the friend won't be spending new year on his own, then it's not really a big deal and it's not unreasonable to cancel.

Having said all that, given that your son is an adult it's really up to him to sort out. I think he's past the age where his parents need to be getting involved in his friendships/arguments.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 30-Dec-16 10:09:20

If he's still going for one night hinbu

If he's now not going at all in favour of a better offer then hibu to let his friend down

JigglyTuff Fri 30-Dec-16 10:26:15

The OP's DS is still going for the night he originally said he would go! He doesn't have to go for two nights if he doesn't want to - whether he's working, doing something else or staying home in his jammies on his own hmm

If he had changed his plans because a better offer came along, that would have been rude but he didn't.

Fuckingnamechanged Fri 30-Dec-16 10:52:29

Your ds' friend sounds a tad spoilt if they're expecting everyone to put their plans above all else...

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