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To think if you offer to cater for someone you actually do?

(20 Posts)
lastqueenofscotland Thu 29-Dec-16 23:17:03

I should preface this with I had a horrible eating disorder for much of my teens/early twenties and can still struggle so may have a skewed idea around food.

I was invited to a friends house for dinner tonight, oh great thank you I said, but did point out j was a vegetarian, I'm not a fussy one, as long as it's not meat or fish I'll eat it. But I did offer to either bring a vegetarian dish for everyone to share or bring my own food just in case. She said no and she'd make me something.
Texted again this morning just to reiterate that I was happy to bring something if she was struggling to make two meals, didn't want to be awkward, again she said not to worry.

Got there and it was a tapas thing which was great... But there were literally no veggie options bar some patatas bravas which were very nice,... So loads of people had heaps before I managed to get to them so I literally had half a tablespoon on patatas Bravas and some olives.
One guest made a comment about "oh is that all you're having queen?!" And host said "oh look at the size of her she won't need much!" (See previous eating disorder comment - I'm still quite slim).

AIBU to be a bit upset about this all?

Hope that was coherent I've had a fair few beers on very little food!

neolara Thu 29-Dec-16 23:19:53

That was rubbish of your friend.. I would have felt put out too.

bonfireheart Thu 29-Dec-16 23:20:24

I'm not fussy about food but am a vegetarian and this would annoy me. Worst is when I go out with friends who are well aware that I am vegetarian will then decide they want to "share" the dishes and eat my vegetarian option :/
I'd ask to leave early to go get some food.

edwinbear Thu 29-Dec-16 23:21:36

YANBU she was an inconsiderate host. Were the other guests unaware you are vegetarian? If so, it was also rude of them to deprive you of the only veggie option.

edwinbear Thu 29-Dec-16 23:22:34

aware not unaware.

Mistletoekids Thu 29-Dec-16 23:24:10


Notcontent Thu 29-Dec-16 23:24:26

That's terrible. If it was tapas, she should have had a few vegetarian options for you, and had some in reserve for you. Incredibly rude and thoughtless.

KnittedBlanketHoles Thu 29-Dec-16 23:25:53

I hate the won't need to eat much comments too.

How close are you to the host? Are you thinking of sending them a text questioning why they treated you like that? I would be tempted to but don't know if it's really a good idea.

OopsDearyMe Thu 29-Dec-16 23:26:41

Oh mygod the com went she made is bad enough, bloody hell. I would have said loudly well actually I was just thinking that I should have brought my own food after all as this is all the veggie stuff you got. Cheeky cow !

OopsDearyMe Thu 29-Dec-16 23:27:39

I would leave early too and say loudly so everyone can here, sorry I'm going early but I'm starving

EweAreHere Thu 29-Dec-16 23:32:57

I would have been quite cross and hurt.

Very inconsiderate of your friend ... and a rude comment to boot.

I'd've left.

DailyFail1 Thu 29-Dec-16 23:35:57

Really really rude. If this happened to me I'd consider whether she actually thought of me as a friend at all.

lastqueenofscotland Thu 29-Dec-16 23:44:27

Thanks all, I wasn't sure if I was just being weird about it!

The over riding feeling I got was that she thought "meh queen has a awkward dietary requirement and won't eat much anyway so I won't bother" fsad

GimmeeMoore Thu 29-Dec-16 23:47:00

Ok,I don't think she's intentionally meant to exclude or not offer sufficient.i think it was likely an oversight.I'm vegetarian too,and I think sometimes non- veggies have a limited notion of what to offer,and in what quantities. With result the vegetarian food gets eaten by everyone.Went on a do,few of us vegetarian, the vegetarian meals arrive first,and the non- veggies snaffle a few and eat them. Only to then also eat the meat options too. Resulting in limited vegetarian food left

The comments,folk say inappropriate stuff about food,weight all the time. Unlikely it was aimed at you,however I agree you'd be sensitised to such comments and may feel them more than someone else.

seven201 Thu 29-Dec-16 23:49:28

It is a bit odd to do tapas and only have one non-meat/fish thing though. What's that all about?

GimmeeMoore Thu 29-Dec-16 23:56:48

I went to a family meal and they'd made "extra potatoes" that was their nod to being vegetarian. I don't think folk mean to exclude, perhaps they just have limited knowledge what else to offer

AgedRelative Fri 30-Dec-16 00:03:32

I have a coeliac DD and DF, a veggie husband and a mother with major food issues. I would never ever dream of serving a group meal which would leave any of them hungry. Your friend was inhospitable to start and rude to finish.

DontTouchTheMoustache Fri 30-Dec-16 00:06:16

If you are still there order a pizza. She will probably get the message

GimmeeMoore Fri 30-Dec-16 00:14:43

Queen,my family would make potatoes as vegetarian option.they'd consider that catering to your need

NoCapes Fri 30-Dec-16 00:18:38

When people questioned how little you were eating I'd have answered "well actually I'm vegetarian so this is all I can eat"
Friend was very rude and a bit wierd really

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