I posted initially in mental health but there doesn't seem to be much traffic and I don't even know if this is a mental health thing or just me and I'm feeling very confused and ridiculous.
On the face of it (and according to Facebook!)I have the perfect life, great job, lovely family, nice house, lots of friends, great social life. However, particularly over the Xmas break I've felt shit. I'm not sure if it's anxiety or just Xmas blues or a wake up call that I need to take a long hard look at myself? I have spent most of the break comparing myself to others, feeling down- fat and frumpy- but mainly shit about friends. We've hosted a Xmas party that went brilliantly and had friends for Xmas eve and Xmas day and attended a ball and large Xmas party. Howevever, other than one Xmas party all of our social activities have been organised by me- as I'm the one doing the inviting.
I'm feeling down and paranoid that we've had no invites back. There are two local New Year's Eve parties that most of our circle are invited to but we have been left out. One is expected, a neighbour who dislikes me intensely but I don't really know why. This has upset me a lot and made me question all of my other relationships. I've started noticing that other friends get dinner and drinks invites, their kids are invited for sleep overs etc when we aren't and feel that unless I do the inviting we wouldn't see anyone, although people are always happy to come.
I'm consumed by this worry and am starting to dread going back to work (a job I'm pretty good at) as I'm doubting myself so much and feel I'm going to fail at my job. I'm starting to worry the neighbour dislikes me as I'm a nasty person and that's why we also get less invites socially than others we know. I'm confused as to whether the issue is genuinely with me or I'm suffering from anxiety?
I'm exercising when I can which helps but eating my body weight in cheese which doesn't help. I'm dreading new year and watching the party we aren't invited to (can see the house from my window ) and the others play out on face book. I'm spending a lot of time pondering over social media and feeling shit about the things I've not been invited to. I know deleting FB is a start but doesn't change the underlying issues, I would still be aware of being left out of a number of things I'm sure I would previously have been asked to.
This is a ramble, I feel shit, can anyone help me make sense of what's going on and things I can do to improve my mental health? My husband although lovely thinks I'm being ridiculous. I'm not sure if I need to look at being nicer to people or to learn to stop being so hurt when we are left out of things or cultivate the true friendships we have? I currently feel jealous, needy and pathetic all of the time which I'm sure others are picking up on and therefore makes them less inclined to be my friend- a vicious circle.
Help?!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
AIBU to think I'm losing all my friends and not sure if it's me?
38 replies
Batwomanrisesagain · 29/12/2016 23:13
OP posts:
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