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To feel a bit down in the dumps for no reason

(31 Posts)
ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 21:10:50

I'm off this week with DH and DS. I just feel a bit low and tearful. I don't think I'm depressed - it's only come on this week. I think it might be the fact that there's such a big build up to Christmas and then it's just a bit of an anticlimax.

Also my DH is my DS's (1 y/o) favourite at the moment. He always wants daddy to hold him...doesn't want me. I know it's just a phase he's going through (I was his favourite last week, lol) but it's just getting me down a bit.

I'm sat in the kitchen on my own. I've got so much to feel thankful and grateful for, but I just can't shake off this weird feeling of sadness. Can someone help me get a grip?

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Thu 29-Dec-16 21:12:49

If I were you I'd make a big mug of hit chocolate and get into a warm bed with my favourite book or a film. I'm quite boring but that would make me feel better.

lilyb84 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:21:50

I could have written your post except that my ds only wants me and while it's lovely it's very draining. I feel unhappy for no real reason, just very drained and bored and frustrated. I keep snapping at DH and even started feeling irritated with 11 mo ds today confused It's a weird time of year. I'd kill for a nice long hot bath and a glass of something naughty and some time to myself not spent working or cleaning or with a baby attached to me - can you grab some alone time to treat yourself?

If your ds is a sleeper I'd say try and get a good night's sleep, remember things will feel better in the morning - if not tomorrow morning then maybe the next day, and so on. You just need to write off a crappy day and a horrible mood and start again tomorrow.

Sending sympathetic flowers

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 21:23:03

I've just made a brew and eaten 3/4 of a packet of Jaffa Cakes so I'm on the right track! I think I'm going to make a plan for tomorrow too, as we seem to have just wasted a lot of our time off, which has made me feel a little bit sad. I've just felt really demotivated and tired.

I'm doing a massive cross stitch at the moment so I might go and do a bit of that for an hour, then get in bed with a book. I just need to stop feeling so tearful. I haven't felt like this since I was at uni and on my own/feeling homesick. But I'm in my own home with my lovely family, so there is no reason to feel like this. Argh!

lilyb84 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:23:09

Also is there anyone you can chat to on the phone, or meet up with for a bit of a catch up? I always find seeing or speaking to someone helps lift me out of myself a bit even if I don't think I'm in the mood...

Alorsmum Thu 29-Dec-16 21:29:00

Have you been getting out the house every day? I have felt similar but a walk in the winter sun cheered me up today

lilyb84 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:35:59

^^ this! Definitely try to get out. How much more time off do you have? Maybe try to plan a little something for each of the next few days so you don't feel you've wasted your time, even if it's to stay in and watchave a film with takeaway!

And honestly make the most of ds wanting your DH - he's going to go through so many of these phases, you may as well enjoy it while it lasts, and just look forward to his next mummy phase smile

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 21:36:50

I will phone my granny in the morning. I haven't been out of the house today...we've been out every other day. I felt much perkier yesterday morning when we'd had a busy one...going to the shops and getting stuff sorted. I'll try to have a more active day tomorrow. That's probably what's going on.

I can't face the cross stitch...I think I should just write today off and start afresh in the morning.

Magicpaintbrush Thu 29-Dec-16 21:37:14

This happened to me today as well, and I had the same thing at exactly the same time of year the past few years - very low spirits, a sense of futility and uselessness, frustration, coupled with lethargy and unable to feel enthusiastic about anything. Always seems to happen between Christmas and the start of the new school term, and I feel dreadful as though my poor DD has had a crappy, boring, miserable wasted day because of me.

I think it's partly the cold weather, a lot of cabin fever, the constant tugging on your sleeve of the kids and trying to keep them entertained when there are other things you also want to be doing (wanting to get on with some work). Like you, I know I have things to grateful and thankful for but I can't get past this miserable feeling inside. I think it's the time of year and am hoping it will lift when we get back to a routine.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 21:41:19

Magic that is exactly how I've been feeling. I feel really pissed off with myself...I want to just flick a switch and be happy and chirpy again. Normally I just get on with it...and I'd be the first to tell myself to get a bloody grip (which is what I'm trying to do). I look like shit too...I don't think that's helping. Can't motivate myself to do my hair or put on a bit of make up...I'm wearing leggings with holes in them. I'm a state. It's quite funny really and it's making me smile a little bit. i think I need to stop feeling so down about feeling down, if you know what I mean.

Does everyone get like this sometimes then? I feel like a freak when I'm like this...which I know is utterly silly.

80sWaistcoat Thu 29-Dec-16 21:42:36

You probably need a good nights sleep. It's a tiring time of year. Get a bath and an early night.

FluttershyStare Thu 29-Dec-16 21:46:45

I'm the same too and have been for most of the festive period.
It's put the tin lid on it that two people in my close family have announced they are pregnant, and I ... Am not 😢
It's just been a bit relentless and while I know I have things to be very thankful for, I'm just a bit.. Down

Maisy84 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:47:03

I'm 100% with you. I think it's being with overexcited / tired kids and the lack of movement to some of our days, we are out of routine and seems to take us ages to get out at the moment! Just feel restless / tired and unenthusiastic which is unusual for me. We went to borough market today and walked along the river and that definitely helped. I also think there's a lot going around virus wise so you could be coming down with something.

UnderbeneathsiesTheMistletoe Thu 29-Dec-16 21:48:48

I felt like this yesterday until I went out for a walk.

Really, getting some sunshine in your eyes is brilliant for shifting a low mood. Cabin fever can be soul destroying.

Are you taking vitamin D drops as well? They really perk me up. I use D-Lux spray.

But I suppose the reason why I was feeling weepy is that my period arrived today and I was just feeling hormonal.

Hope an early night and a lovely walk tomorrow does you the world of good. Can you have a shower or bath before you go to bed?

Hope your DS prefers his daddy in the night too, or is he sleeping through? Maybe ask your DH to tend to him tonight? Sometimes just knowing you don't have to do the night is like a holiday in itself.

lilyb84 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:50:45

You're no freak. I get this quite a lot, have suffered from depression on and off but I know when it's just a low mood like this and not something deeper. If you do find you're feeling like it for more than a few weeks it might be worth chatting with your GP - but if it's an occasional thing I'd say it's totally normal and you just need to figure out your best way of coping with it. It sounds like being busy is the key for you (it is for me as well, drives my DH up the wall!).

I can be a very negative person (always have been) and am making it my new years resolution to be happy and not sweat the small stuff / wallow in low moods smile

Cel982 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:58:44

I always get a bit of a post-Christmas slump - there's such a build-up to it, then it's suddenly all over and you get that "Nothing nice will ever happen again!" feeling. I've found that having a new project to focus on really helps - is there anything you've been wanting to do but haven't got around to yet? New hobby, home improvements, creative project?

Magicpaintbrush Thu 29-Dec-16 22:01:14

I thought today that in an effort to shake off the cabin fever my DD and me would go to the playground (though I didn't really feel like it one bit) - after about 10 mins at the playground a group of teenage boys rocked up with their music blaring, being gobby etc so we went to a different pkayground up the road, and after 5 mins a group of teenage girls arrived, all swearing loudly. I was about to tell my DD we were leaving but she beat me to it "let's go home mummy, it's too busy here". It was all a bit shit and we may as well have just stayed indoors for all the good it did.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 22:03:44

Cel we are going to redecorate DS's room but the thought of it just fills me with dread. I can't imagine getting myself motivated to do it..but I've decorated a whole room by myself before in the space of 2 days so there is no reason for this to freak me out. I just feel really heavy and burdened with stuff...just thoughts and feelings weighing down on me and making me exhausted.

I know it'll pass at some point soon and I'll be fine again. I just want to slap myself though!

Magicpaintbrush Thu 29-Dec-16 22:13:44

Yes, heavy and burdened - you have stuff to do but can't get motivated. Me too. I'm in a creative profession and could be working on my portfolio or preparing the ground for commissions due to start in jan, but I can't seem to get started, I feel too low/tired/miserable. Plus what is the point when you have to stop every five minutes to do laundry/ironing/cooking/tidying, and the kids are wanting you to play.

Everything feels unachievable just now. (Hopefully the new year will bring new optimism and energy!!)

Misty9 Thu 29-Dec-16 22:16:33

I would say listen to your body and do some self care pronto. Don't ignore the warning signs and end up physically unwell like me for three weeks and counting... sad

Could you create a self care first aid toolbox? So a list of things that make you feel good? Like listening to music, walks in the sunshine, watching your ds play etc. What about browsing pinterest for ideas for redecorating?

Oh, and get off the internet...it saps your emotional reserves <really should take own advice> it's OK to not be OK smile

ifcatscouldtalk Thu 29-Dec-16 22:44:01

As others have mentioned sometimes the lack of routine or amount of hours spent indoors can lead to this cabin fever and restless/fed up mood. I have to keep an eye on this myself as winter does drag me down a bit. I must be a bit of a freak though as I feel like even when I've had a good xmas a sense relief comes over me on the 27th that normal life resumes. BTW I get where your coming from re your son being all for daddy. My daughter used to be the same, they go through these phases. When she later decided she was all for me I felt knackered! grin.

Notcontent Thu 29-Dec-16 22:49:56

I have been feeling a bit like that too. I was really looking forward to having time off work and just being at home, but instead feeling rather low. I guess I am prone to feeling like that. Normally I am so busy I don't have time to sit and think.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 22:57:42

Yes, I think it's definitely the lack of routine, cabin fever, a little bit of over-sensitivity to my DS wanting his dad all the time (when I should be enjoying the break), and a bit of post-Christmas grump.

I'll try to make tomorrow a bit more eventful and hopefully it'lll help me feel a bit more energised. It's weird how not doing anything can make you feel more knackered than when you have a really busy day.

I'll make a plan to go for a walk, cook a nice meal, make tracks on redecorating. I've always found that setting myself goals and making plans really helps me to feel motivated and chirpier. I like being busy and working...having holidays (even really short ones) don't always have a good effect on me...they can make me feel like I don't want to do anything.

Misty I'm going to get off the internet now (good advice). Thanks for all your replies and help. Will catch up with you tomorrow. smile

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 29-Dec-16 22:59:31

Notcontent me too...I like being really busy because it means I don't have time for these types of feelings to pop up. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work and it being January because that means everything's back to normal..which I know makes me a bit of a grinch but I just find the week between Christmas and New Year a bit...weird.

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 30-Dec-16 07:56:03

Morning all! Feeling a bit more positive today...got up early and I've got a few bits and pieces done. I'm hoping this media blackout thing turns out to be nothing. Hope you're all OK and wishing you a better day than yesterday.

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