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For someone to say that they only find blokes from their own race attractive?

(238 Posts)
Ubertasha2 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:44:30

Hi, trying to settle an argument here:

One friend (30s) says she only 'fancies' blokes from same race as hers (white). This is her personal preference, she says she can't change how she feels and is NOT a racist. She is not a malicious person at all and is actually not an outspoken person on topics of race, religion and politics (unlike other friends of mine!).

Friend 2 says you can't only express this but you can't think it as "you are almost certainly a racist"' (if you feel like this).

Friend 3 feels that friend 3 mightn't be a racist and can feel that way, but MUST NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES MENTION THIS TO ANYONE etc etc in case it offends.

I kind of agree with friend 3, as I feel that you like what you like. Maybe it's a bit narrow minded to say "right, that's it, I know what I like and I'm not budging" etc etc, but as long as she doesn't share this preference with others (where she could obviously pointlessly offend someone and be labelled a racist etc etc), she's keeping a private opinion to herself, surely?

Just wanted an opinion as v uncomfortable discussion!

Ubertasha2 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:47:24

Typos! *Friend 3 feels about friend with the opinion, not about friend 3!

wowbutter Thu 29-Dec-16 16:54:33

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PossumInAPearTree Thu 29-Dec-16 16:54:36

I have never in my life been attracted to a bloke with blonde hair and don't think I ever would, just Doesn't appeal. I guess some women feel the same about an Asian man, or a white man or a black man. You can't help sexual attraction.

Aderyn2016 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:54:38

To me racism is the belief that one group of people is inherently better or worse than another group of people, based solely on their ethnicity. Your friend ( the one who only fancies white people) isn't saying white people are better peoplerl, only that she is more physically attracted to them. To me, it is no different than Rod Stewart having a preference for blondes.

I don't think people can control sexual preferences - who knows what influences specific tastes.

0phelia Thu 29-Dec-16 16:55:42

Sexual preference can't be determined by identity politics, or by PC arguments. It is personal and can't be prescribed by anyone else.

Amandahugandkisses Thu 29-Dec-16 16:56:55

Your preference is what it is. You can't help it.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 29-Dec-16 16:57:12

I think its the new way for the BNP to hide what they really mean.

PossumInAPearTree Thu 29-Dec-16 16:58:17

I also don't think I'm sexist because I'm not attracted to women.

Aderyn2016 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:58:43

That said though, unless she's met every black man in the entire world, it would be daft to say she would never be attracted to a black man. In the end, although we might all have specific physical preferences, you fall in love with who a person is and then looks become less important.
I am married to somebody that I eouldn't have described as my 'type' before I met him.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 29-Dec-16 16:59:29

Possum not even Charlie Hunnam in Sons Of Anarchy??

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:59:33

I'm attracted to blond haired men, always have been. On the other hand ds1 is attracted to redheads. That doesn't make us racist.

Ds2 is obsessed with Japan and everything japanese. I can easily see him with a Japanese girlfriend/wife in the future. That doesn't make him racist.

0phelia Thu 29-Dec-16 17:00:17

wowbutter that word is transphobic

A crock of shit demanding lesbians are to have sex with men who call themselves women!

Sexual preference should be the last freedom we have.

Onthecouchagain Thu 29-Dec-16 17:00:39

It is in no way racist. It's personal preference.

PossumInAPearTree Thu 29-Dec-16 17:00:58

joffrey. Have just googled him and nope, wouldn't get a second glance off me if I passed him in the street.

SecretWitch Thu 29-Dec-16 17:01:49

Meh, I am only attracted to tall, non blonde men. I won't suddenly start longing for short, fair men.

wowbutter Thu 29-Dec-16 17:01:55

Thanks Ophelia! I knew that didn't sound right! Yes, so, this is bullshit as is the lesbian thing. Clear?

DJBaggySmalls Thu 29-Dec-16 17:02:53

So no one on this thread would date a disabled person or amputee either, by the 'personal preference' logic.

Its bullshit. Having a personal preference for type is not the same thing as writing off an entire race.

CaraAspen Thu 29-Dec-16 17:04:22

Sort of connected:
I wonder why many black footballers, for instance, have white (bimbo-type...) girlfriend or wives??

nichito Thu 29-Dec-16 17:05:01

Charlie Hunnam is a right munter (IMO).

Goes to show it takes all sorts, I suppose. I personally don't associate that "look" with sex.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 29-Dec-16 17:06:16

I have a bimbo cousin with a black footballer boyfriend.

Is that a thing? I know sod all about football.

ClaudiaWankleman Thu 29-Dec-16 17:06:34

It depends on what about non-white men your friend finds unattractive. Not liking brown eyes, and applying that across the board to all Asian men, black men and white men with brown eyes isn't racist. Saying 'Asian men aren't manly enough and black men look too thuggish' definitely is racist.

Ubertasha2 Thu 29-Dec-16 17:07:37

So nice that people CAN have a preference and not have to justify the reasons. Really appreciate everyone's open mindedness. And Charlie Hunnam is hot- remember him in Queer As Folk years back!!

TheTartOfAsgard Thu 29-Dec-16 17:08:12

I've only ever dated skinny white men with dark hair, as that's what I find attractive. I'm not attracted to darker skin, blonde hair, muscles, women etc. I've never thought that made me 'ist' or 'phobic' anything, it's my nature and I can't help who I like, and I'm not about to force myself to date someone who I don't fancy to in order to prove anything.

Pollyxcx Thu 29-Dec-16 17:08:40

I personally do not fancy black men.

I live a varied single life but I just don't get a spark of attraction from them (or the ones I've met). Also never been attracted to a blond man, short men or really big muscles.

Just leaves me cold. Not sure if that means I'm racist! I certainly don't think I am.

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