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To speak to ds teacher about ds being excluded

(5 Posts)
Peculiarparenting Thu 29-Dec-16 11:04:55

Ds has just started recpetion. At the beginning of the year he became very attached to one particular boy. He always wanted to sit next to him, play with him etc. He has form for this as in nursery he also had a special friend who he was very attached to and would always play with.

Anyway after a few weeks this boy decided that he no longer wanted to be my sons friend and would actively avoid him tell him not to play with him, refuse to speak to him etc. No real explanation but I suspect he probably felt a bit smothered and didnt feel that he had a special friendship with ds. Absolutely fine. I encouraged my son to play with others and even though he was initially very upset by how this boy ended their friendship he got over it and started playing with a mixture of children girls and boys which i am actually happier about because it does make him less vulnerable to being hurt by rejection from one very good friend.

On the last day of term my son told me that not only is his old friend not wanting to play with him but is also preventing him from playing with others in the class. He does this by excluding my son from games he wants to get involved in with some of the other boys in the class. So these boys play with my son in the absence of this child but when he is present he tells them he doesnt want my son to play. I know these boys are friendly with my son as they play with him in the park every day afterschool and he was invited to their birthday parties. I am really annoyed that he is being kept from playing with his friends at school by this other child.

Do you think i should speak to his class teacher about this or am I just being pfb about it? I do suspect my own ds is a bit guilty of this type of behaviour though no one has complained to me about it.

Speak to the teacher in a neutral way. This happened to DS2 at one point and I just asked them to keep an eye out for this type of exclusion/ silliness without making a big deal. It is quite common behaviour and they will have seen it plenty of times before. I think they did some circle time work on playing together and deflected the behaviour if they spotted it.

AntiQuitty Thu 29-Dec-16 11:23:09

Yes talk to the teacher, as Chaz says they'll probably do circle time work on it. That's what happened in ds's reception class for the various friendship issues which have cropped up.

Peculiarparenting Thu 29-Dec-16 11:31:51

One thing I forgot to mention is that I dont have the best relationship with his teacher. Its nothing overt but I find her quite dismissive when I ask her anything about my ds. My ds is an August born and I was quite concerned when he first started. Whenever I tried to speak to her about him she would automatically say he's fine but then told me he wont make his writing target at the end of the reception. She told me this in October.

I have stopped asking her anything about him now just because she acts like its such a big inconvenience to be asked how he is doing.

Euphemia Thu 29-Dec-16 11:35:42

Speak to the teacher and if she's dismissive go to the Head.

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