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To tell my Christmas guests how angry I am that they didn't thank me?

(79 Posts)
howhardisittosaythankyou Wed 28-Dec-16 21:37:36

My family stayed for three days.

I fed them (think nice food, champagne, nice wine).

I cooked for them and cleaned up after them. I've spent all day today washing bed sheets and towels, washing up etc. I work full time so back to work tomorrow.

While they were here I took them out for a meal (cost £100) and I picked up the bill. They didn't offer me any money and didn't thank me. I wouldn't have accepted any money anyway as it was my treat but would have been nice if they'd offered. Or at least thanked me.

They left today without thanking me for my hospitality, they just said nice to see you, bye etc.

It's not the first time similar has happened.

I'm furious.

Would I be unreasonable to confront them?

Scarydinosaurs Wed 28-Dec-16 21:39:15

It's off to not say thank you- do they usually not say thank you?

LagunaBubbles Wed 28-Dec-16 21:40:24

Who is it? What kind of people don't say thank you, dont get it.

howhardisittosaythankyou Wed 28-Dec-16 21:40:25

Yes not the first time it's happened.

howhardisittosaythankyou Wed 28-Dec-16 21:40:45

My parents and adult siblings

SleepFreeZone Wed 28-Dec-16 21:40:48

I would say just don't do it again. It's not worth all the bad feeling by confronting them and they'll probably spin it anyway and make you look as though you are an ungracious host.

Just make sure you please yourself next year and enjoy ignoring any hints for a repeat performance.

Scarydinosaurs Wed 28-Dec-16 21:42:07

In the past have you ever mentioned their lack of manners? Even a passive aggressive "you're welcome"?

MistressMaisie Wed 28-Dec-16 21:45:49

FGS don't do it again.
Looks like you are seen in the family as the capable one who can do all this at the drop of a hat, also the well off one who loves treating flashing the cash everyone!

HecAteAllTheXmasPud Wed 28-Dec-16 21:46:20

Do they say things like
had a lovely time
it's been great
been wonderful
etc

Anything that means they are saying theyve really enjoyed themselves and could possibly be their version of thank you?

But yes if it bothers you then tell them.

toffeeboffin Wed 28-Dec-16 21:46:58

I think you need to mention it.

Crispbutty Wed 28-Dec-16 21:47:47

It should have been them taking YOU out for a meal. How rude and ungrateful.

Raines100 Wed 28-Dec-16 21:51:41

Yeah, are you sure they didn't say anything that means thank you without saying the words? 'It's been really lovely. We've thoroughly enjoyed it.' Sometimes that's nicer than trotting out, 'Thank you for having me,' like a 6 year old on a play date.

rainbowstardrops Wed 28-Dec-16 21:55:01

Do they say things like
had a lovely time
it's been great
been wonderful
etc

My family do this without going over the top thanking me. Maybe yours did too?

If not then they're bloody rude and I'd probably have to say something

FatOldBag Wed 28-Dec-16 21:58:40

I haven't consulted debrett's, but I believe the traditional response is to shout "you're welcome" at the point you were expecting a thank you but didn't get one. ...You're welcome.

Giselaw Wed 28-Dec-16 22:01:16

Are you this formal with your parents when they've hosted you for the holidays in the past? fhmm

DontEatTheSweets Wed 28-Dec-16 22:01:41

I think it can just be a family thing. DHs family don't say thank you but I know they are appreciative.

You relatives are thoughtless but maybe it's just because they feel very comfortable and at home wth you.

I think you should have asked them to help or to bring things if you had wanted them to.

Honeybee79 Wed 28-Dec-16 22:01:46

Yanbu. How rude! Don't host again.

Pollyanna9 Wed 28-Dec-16 22:02:00

I can be heard shouting this regularly whilst driving, when allowing something through and they don't thank me smile.

Heathen4Hire Wed 28-Dec-16 22:02:04

My dear parents do this. Or try to. I don't put up with it. If they are staying over, they are told to help out. Or I may as well tell them not to bother coming over, eating my food, drinking my drinking, dropping crap all over very the show and expecting me to clear up after them. Do fuck off.

Cherrysoup Wed 28-Dec-16 22:02:48

What fatoldbag says! Is there one of them you can gently ask if they had a nice time? If not, I just wouldn't host again, miserable lot.

formerbabe Wed 28-Dec-16 22:02:52

I'm furious on your behalf...that's terrible.

Yes, I'd absolutely tell them.

category12 Wed 28-Dec-16 22:03:26

What sort of outcome do you visualise getting from confronting them?

JustSpeakSense Wed 28-Dec-16 22:04:13

How awful that you are so taken for granted. I would not say anything, but would not invite them again. They definitely do not deserve anymore of your hospitality.

londonrach Wed 28-Dec-16 22:04:25

Why didnt they pay for the meal?

greenfolder Wed 28-Dec-16 22:05:13

Id just not do it again

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