Have changed a few details so as not to identify.
My mum lives some miles from us (me, DH and three young adult children). She has been widowed for many years and in all that time has had an open invitation to spend Christmas with us which she normally does although once or twice she has been ill or spent time with other family members who live further away.
Mum is quite introverted and has a history of crying off social events so I wasn't too surprised when she sent me a text on `Christmas morning saying her bad back was playing up and she wouldn't be joining us. Her 'bad back' always plays up when she doesn't want to do something and we had a full house of in-laws and children as well as her and that sort of crowd just isn't her thing. She has also made a point of dropping everyone's presents in earlier in the week so I had already had a clue she didn't intend to spend the day with us.
However I was very surprised when she still had a bad back on Boxing Day which traditionally is a very big deal in my family but is a much quieter, low key sort of day which she normally enjoys. By then I was worried enough that I spoke to a geographically nearer relation who popped over with a present/to check she was ok (she has some other potentially serious ongoing health issues and I was worried she wasn't telling me the full story). He reported that she seemed fine, was moving freely and seemed well, just
So it seems she just didn't want to see us at Christmas. One one level I get that she is a grown woman in full control of her faculties who can spend Christmas doing whatever the hell she wants. If she wants a quiet few days on her own, that is what she should have. And she can be quite argumentative so in some ways it is easier when she isn't here. But I am sitting here looking at the presents she hasn't been here to open and I feel very sad that she didn't want to join us. It seems like a futile gesture to drive them over to her and I actually don't want to do it as I think if I saw her I would cry and I don't want to guilt-trip her over not joining us.
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My mum didn't see us at Christmas and I am hurt
14 replies
Liiinoo · 28/12/2016 12:40
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