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To be annoyed with MIL?

(17 Posts)
ventricular Wed 28-Dec-16 12:22:13

MIL has been here since the 21st of December. She is in her 70s but active and in reasonable health.
However, she has had a cough, which she often gets in winter. The problem with this is that she NEVER covers her mouth when she coughs. (She also has atrocious table manners but that's another topic entirely...). It's not an age thing as I've known her since she was my age and she has always done it. DH and I have asked her nicely to remember to cover her mouth, but to no avail.

Yesterday I did a buffet lunch as we had some friends over, and she proceeded to cough repeatedly over the food. I'm afraid I lost it. She is now sulking, and I feel terrible, but my instinctive reaction was of disgust. Even the kids were revolted by it.

At least she goes home tomorrow...

frazmum Wed 28-Dec-16 12:25:26

That's gross. She's sulking because she knows she's wrong.

user1477282676 Wed 28-Dec-16 12:28:32

Well YABU to "lose it" when you could mention it in private and politely.

ventricular Wed 28-Dec-16 12:30:31

Unfortunately we've done privately and politely to death, and it's obviously made bugger all impact!

VladmirsPoutine Wed 28-Dec-16 12:31:44

Well you'll be in good company here.
You shouldn't have lost it.

HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine Wed 28-Dec-16 12:32:23

user, the OP said she has mentioned it nicely in the past 'to no avail*. There is no reason to be hacking all over the place, and after a long time I'd lose my temper as well. It is awful and inconsiderate to those around you, she was totally in the wrong.

Spadequeen Wed 28-Dec-16 12:38:50

Well if you've already tried to talk to her about it, she's ignored you and coughed over everyone's food again then no yanbu

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall Wed 28-Dec-16 12:39:58

When you lost it was it just you and your family there, or was it in front of your friends? It's one thing to shout/swear/rant at a family member amongst family, but another to shame them in front of 'outsiders'.

ventricular Wed 28-Dec-16 12:43:15

It wasn't in front of our friends, there was just me and my daughter in the room with her. I didn't go ballistic, just asked her for heaven's sake please cover your mouth when you cough, especially around food.

Sorry I couldn't cope with that, I would avoid her at all costs if she's unable to cover her mouth, disgusting. A real pet hate of mine

glentherednosedbattleostrich Wed 28-Dec-16 12:49:00

That's not loosing it. That's slightly cross.

I'd have thrown the food in the bin, no way I would eat food covered in someone elses spit.

theclick Wed 28-Dec-16 12:49:39

YANBU op. This annoys me as it's selfish. Was a couple coughing all over the bakery section in Lidl the other day, I almost asked them to do that elsewhere. You should just know not to.

TheDayIBroke Wed 28-Dec-16 16:09:27

Yuk! I would have been snappy with her too. Who wants spit and phlegm particles on their food?

YouTheCat Wed 28-Dec-16 16:15:42

If I need to cough and can't cover my mouth (hands covered in pastry or whatever) I turn around, away from food and try to do it into my arm. It's not rocket science.

She sounds like she has awful manners and I'm not surprised you felt you had to say something.

NavyandWhite Wed 28-Dec-16 16:17:18

Why do these posters who can't stand their MIL's have them staying for so bloody long?

Spadequeen Wed 28-Dec-16 16:55:12

That is not losing it. I think you were very restrained.

Has she stopped sulkingyet?

WhereYouLeftIt Wed 28-Dec-16 17:34:00

If you consider that to be 'losing it', you need to up your game, lady wink.
And you were absolutely correct to say what you did. You've done the nice way to death, it didn't work , time to try a new tactic.

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