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To feel like I have the only 11 year old that still wets the bed

(30 Posts)
Blond98 Wed 28-Dec-16 10:05:30

DS1 still wets the bed 5 out of 7 nights and there doesn't seem to be any sign of improvement. He is very embarrassed about it and hates that he can't go to sleepovers or camping trips. Everything the doctor suggests doesn't work (alarms, drugs) so I keep on thinking he will grow out of it, but he still hasn't. He wears pajama pants (nappies) to bed which he finds very embarrassing and in the morning they are either full to bursting or have leaked, something he also gets embarrassed about. Otherwise he is a bright funny popular boy.

watchingitallagain Wed 28-Dec-16 10:18:47


I've not got an eleven year old but I have got a five year old that wets in the day so I understand your frustration.

I'd read about the alarms and we have one for when we're sat still (usually watching a film). It's very fiddly but seems to work for the short period we use it. Why doesn't it work for you? Is it just that it's fiddly and keeps falling off?

Hippoinahat Wed 28-Dec-16 10:24:31

I was an older teenager before I grew out of it, it was mortifying. Nothing worked for me, not the alarms or anything. Eventually got some medication that finally did the trick but it really blighted my childhood. The worst bit was feeling like it was my fault, like it was me being lazy or something. This was back in the 70s though so I think people are rather more enlightened about it being a medical problem that's out of the child's control.
Don't give up hope and don't give up trying to find a solution!

myfavouritecolourispurple Wed 28-Dec-16 10:27:18

If you look at the ERIC website you will see that this is a surprisingly common problem.

Wolfiefan Wed 28-Dec-16 10:29:08

Has the GP not done a specialist referral?

notmaryberry Wed 28-Dec-16 10:35:19

My DD still wet the bed at 13. We got one of the alarms and it worked brilliantly and she was cured after 2 weeks and never wet again. I know of a boy who is 15 and still wets. He refuses to wear the nappies and when he tried the alarm he only did it for a couple of nights and then kept taking it off. Did your DS use the alarm EXACTLY as he is supposed to? We had a fabulous paediatrician who told us "We will solve this!" and was prepared to send her to a specialist in London and did all kinds of tests on kidney function etc. Keep trying - the result is life changing, like you say for sleepovers, camp etc. Good luck.

notmaryberry Wed 28-Dec-16 10:36:10

Oh and the drugs never worked for us either!

Bunkai Wed 28-Dec-16 10:40:15

Are you going to the enuresis clinic with him. My DS11 had never been dry at night...ever. They said alarms wouldn't work as he's not producing the hormone for night time dryness.

He initially was given one Desmomelt a night then upped to two. And he has to drink a load during day (no bkackcurrent or fizzy stuff). No drinks an hour before the meds too.

I wasn't sure it was working. Then I accidently ran out of night time pants. I decided not to buy any more. That really helped. Two weeks ago we came to the end of the tablets and it's kickstarted his hormones. Only 2 wet nights in the last 2 weeks. These have been the first time he's been dry without the tablets.

So keep going. Get rid of the drynites (and stock up on washing powder). It will happen. flowers

Oh it does happen often. You can see that from the stocks of older night time pants in the supermarket. wink

Willowfrost Wed 28-Dec-16 10:48:10

I contacted the school nurse about my DD9 . She had an alarm for a few months and it worked really well. The lady said it needs to be worn long enough to retrain the brain to wake before she wets herself. Also we need to make sure she drinks plenty during the day and nothing an hour before bed as she tended to not drink during the day and then drink lots when she got home from school which made the problem worse.

dangermouseisace Wed 28-Dec-16 10:51:59

aw the poor boy. He's not the only one. Mine has grown out of it but I remember reading this by Sarah Silverman, which doesn't help but might help you and him feel less alone.

Itrynotto Wed 28-Dec-16 11:10:05

12 year old here. Won't wear pull ups and every single night. Spends about 45 mins in the shower every morning which is a nightmare with everyone getting ready for work/school. All the washing. We are seeing the nurse (have been for years) alarm hasn't worked. Won't take the tablets. Won't do the drink more thing. I am totally exhausted by it all. Doesn't help he is hard work anyway (ADHD). You are not alone.

Itrynotto Wed 28-Dec-16 11:11:10

*wont wear pull ups and wets every single night.

Blond98 Wed 28-Dec-16 11:17:57

Everytime we try the alarm he either doesn't wake up or does wake up but is too tired for school ext. The GP hasn't done a referral. I would love to get rid of the drynites but I don't think I could cope with the washing. It's bad enough when the leak once or twice a week.

paulapantsdown Wed 28-Dec-16 11:25:11

12 year old son here. A year ago it was almost every night, and we tried everything without success - desmomelt, alarms etc.

He is now wetting about once a month. What has helped/changed for us :
- he seems to be starting puberty
- stopped with the pull ups, we use disposable bed mats
- the "push out Wee"! Just before he falls asleep, he makes himself get up and do another Wee and then back to bed. It might only be a teaspoon of urine, but it really makes a difference. The nights he is too tired and doesn't get up for the last wee are the nights he wets.

Good luck op. It really does start to get everyone down, the washing, the horrible feeling of waking up wet etc, it's rotten. I think we are finally cracking it, but it's still an issue.

CharleyDavidson Wed 28-Dec-16 11:28:50

My DD wet the bed consistently 4 or 5 nights out of 7 until she was 13.

We got the referral to the eneurisis (sp?) clinic. They gave lots of advice (no drinks after 6pm - very hard when it's an older child that doesn't go to bed til gone 9), no dark drinks, no milk and to talk to herself and to tell herself that she will wake up). We had star charts. We even tried the medication. Which made her slightly more reliably dry and gave her more confidence on sleepovers/residentials at school, but she was still wet 2 or 3 nights even on the medication.

So we gave up and let time take it's course. The doctor said that sometimes, it's just a matter of the bladder maturing. And it was.

We tried the alarms too! For 1 night. She wet, it went off. Everyone in the house was woken and it was so loud it was painful to get to her to undo it. And she slept through the lot.

wonderingsoul Wed 28-Dec-16 11:55:35

Your not the only one.

My 11 year old still wet the bed uotill he was 10. We was refered to a specialist when he was 9.
We tried the alarms. They didnt work as we are all deep sleepers
He was given tablets that worked.. but i still think it was just hes age and hes gland had matured later then normal.

Get a referal from gp but dont stress over it. Dont make a big deal out of wets nights all... also dont make a big deal out of dry nights ethier untill hes gone a week as itll put presure on him.
I habe a 8 year old whos the same. Funny thing us they was both dry in the day before they was 2 they just cant do night times.make sure hes drinking 2 liters of fluid through out the day to.

Hes not on hes own xx

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Wed 28-Dec-16 11:57:45

13 here

Did have a 14 year old one

He will probably grow out of it smile

I am hoping the 13 year old one does..

DonkeyOaty Wed 28-Dec-16 12:03:05

Best of luck

defineme Wed 28-Dec-16 12:06:26

11 year old twins, used to be very frequent, since puberty this year it's rare and seems to be if tired (new school very tiring) or forget last wee or drink too much after 6pm. I was the same as a child, we are all incredibly deep, hard to rouse sleepers and I don't think it helps. Getting dd to drink more in the day helped a bit, we said it was training her bladder to hold more. She went on sleepovers by taking her own sleeping bag with pull up in bottom, putting or rolled up in onezie and then taking it off inside the bag in the morni g. Ds dealt with it by not going to sleep on sleepovers! My niece has the same issue and was diagnosed with a very small bladder and needed an op to stretch it, so it's worth investigating.

defineme Wed 28-Dec-16 12:13:16

I also recommend summer weight duvet, fleece blankets and cheap shower curtain on mattress, duvet etc all fits in one wash and wipe down plastic with anti bac spray. I had 3 sets for each bed and stored bedding in their room to make it as quick as possible. They are also old enough to strip their own bed and hop in the shower at that age, but we also had baby wipes because there is often a queue for the shower in our house!

yorkshapudding Wed 28-Dec-16 12:15:33

I would definitely ask to be referred to the eneuresis clinic if you haven't already. Your School Nursing team can put you in touch with them.

user1471537877 Wed 28-Dec-16 12:30:32

Hi op

Many of DH's family have suffered, DH his brother our DD and all went dry as soon as they hit puberty

For some families they just don't produce enough of the hormone that regulates urine production but it seems to correct at puberty, no amount of training will change that

Ask around and see if this may be the case in your families

steveharley Wed 28-Dec-16 12:32:52

No advice but he is definitely not unusual. I take 10/11 year old son on a 5 day camp every year and have never yet had a "dry" year.
It is always dealt with discreetly but much easier if we know in advance. I change beds and empty bathroom bins secretly while everyone has breakfast!

steveharley Wed 28-Dec-16 12:33:47


opalescent Wed 28-Dec-16 12:34:54

Just to echo yorkshapudding...
Ask for support through School Nursing. It does vary from area to area, but in my locality (I am a SN) you could self refer to my team, and we would see you in our own continence clinics, before referring you on to a specialist team if things didn't resolve.

You and ds are not alone in having this issue, I promise. Very frustrating for you both though. School should have the contact details for your School Nurses.

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