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DP family and presents

(12 Posts)
User14538262 Wed 28-Dec-16 09:57:57

More is DP being unreasonable about not getting one persons kids presents (I think he is a bit)

We have a late Xmas meal with his family and have got presents for the children and his parents (they don't tend to get presents for each other-just the children). There are 4 of them all together. My DP his younger brother and then his older half sister and older half brother.

His older half brother is much older about 10+ years and moved out of the family home when my DP was only little about under 5. That brother then went on to have a child (lets say Anne) who is now grown up and has 2 children of her own and the older half brother has also had a second child (let's say Clare) with another partner.

As I said we've got presents for the parents and his sister's child and the second child claire as we see them maybe once or twice a year but nothing for Anne's children.

I think we should just pick something up for Anne's two children as it seems rude not to.

However my DP doesn't think he should as he never really talks to or sees them.
I've never met Anne in the 5 years me and my partner have been together and my partner hasn't seen her in that time either (no bad blood he's not particularly a family orientated person and we've moved away). He's Only met Anne's oldest maybe once or twice (think she's about 7 or so) and never met the 2nd child which is maybe 2 - they don't ever speak to him either so he said why should he get them presents when he's not seen them and they haven't spoken to him in years.

Do you think he's being unreasonable?

BIgBagofJelly Wed 28-Dec-16 10:00:27

Unless you're desperately short of money I don't see why you wouldn't just pick up small presents for her kids so they're not left out when handing out presents.

SheldonsSpot Wed 28-Dec-16 10:00:46

I think it's a bit shit to turn up and hand out gifts to all except 2 children.

mrsaugust16 Wed 28-Dec-16 10:01:35

Get them something small.

TheCakes Wed 28-Dec-16 10:02:30

I'd get them a token something. A selection box would do it, just so they aren't left out.

User14538262 Wed 28-Dec-16 10:04:40

Great - thanks everyone. This is what I thought too. He's short of money due to a job change and salary not coming in until Jan - but I'm not and said I'm happy to get the presents so they're not left out.

EllaHen Wed 28-Dec-16 10:05:23

If the rule is to get presents for the children, then you get presents for the children.

elQuintoConyo Wed 28-Dec-16 10:05:55

Go to Tiger and pick up something fun.

Bluebolt Wed 28-Dec-16 10:07:31

Even if they were strangers children if they were at a meal I was giving presents out I would take token presents.

AwkwardSquad Wed 28-Dec-16 10:08:54

I agree with pp. In this sort of situation, the simplest way through the sometimes complicated emotions is to behave with kindness.

User14538262 Wed 28-Dec-16 10:21:09

Perfect thanks for the advice all. -DP is always funny about family stuff - really not family orientated at all with regards to his extended family I'd rather just do things for an easy life! smile

RhiWrites Wed 28-Dec-16 10:22:03

He might not see then often but he IS seeing them during a major gift giving holiday period. If it were summer, no need. But for Christmas they must be treated like the other guests.

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